Black Snow
by Jiggy'N'FairPhili
Summary: Harry has won the war, but what happened to mess him up so badly? He is bullied into a ski holiday by Hermione. Who should he meet there but Snape? What happened to him, why is he here now, and why is he even, if possible, more closed off? SLASH HPSS
1. The Beginning

_**At last, my first Snarry fic! I have been meaning to write this for months! (It is also my first fic that isn't humour 24/7 – although there is a lot of humour because I can't help myself).**_

_**It is an idea I got stuck in my head whilst on holiday with my Editor, this was at Easter! Anyway this is a Snarry fic so if you are deprived and do not like this pairing I think you need to go read something else. Flames will be used to roast Ginny on a spit (if you like Ginny as well as Snarry don't worry I will not be bashing her in this fic).**_

_**Despite the fact it is now summer this fic is set in the winter holidays, so there is a lot of snow.**_

_**Disclaimer: Sadly none of these characters belong to me – my lawyers are currently working on it. But the place Harry stays in and the area this place is set is where I live so no one can ask me where I came up with the place names – it was a drunk Frenchman, not me.**_

_**Summary: After the war Hermione decides that Harry needs a holiday; he has killed Voldermort and is on the point of breakdown, so she sends him to France for a skiing holiday. Who should Harry find there but Snape? What happened to him when he disappeared after he had killed Dumbledore? **_

_**SS/HP Snarry, what ever you want to call it.**_

"Harry, come out of your room."

There was a pause as Hermione sighed and mentally berated herself for letting Harry get like this.

He had been like it ever since that day- it seemed like a lifetime ago but in reality it had been only two months.

"Harry, you can't stay locked in there forever."

"Try me," came the whisper of a reply.

"Harry, you can't beat yourself up about it,"

Harry burst out of the room for the first time since he had entered 2 months before.

"Beat myself up about it?! Why would I want to do that, they died first time round because of me and then I killed them all, every single one! I had to kill them Hermione! And all those other people – I don't even deserve to call myself a person!" Harry shrieked all of this, spitting in Hermione's face; he then turned and stomped back towards his room.

Hermione had seen enough when Harry had burst out the room- she had had doubts it _was_ Harry. He had only been wearing his shorts, his skin was taught stretched over bones: he obviously hadn't been eating. His ribs were prominent next to his ghostly white skin, the only marks breaking the transparent colour were the scars he had acquired in the last battle. All of the blood that had been spattered on his body had been left to dry, and was flaking on his skin. The cuts from which the blood had spurted were clotted over, but most of them were infected and some of them had turned a nasty green. His nails had been overgrown and yellow, and he had reeked of a mixture of dead hope and rotting will. The worst had been Harry's face; wild facial hair surrounded his chapped lips covering yellowing teeth. The bags in his deathly sunken mask of a face had been bright black against his skin, under bloodshot eyes with small mad pupils.

The worst part was that the spark had gone from Harry's eyes: they were eyes of a dead man. What made it so bad was that Hermione wasn't sure if she could get Harry back now that… that had happened…

"Harry, you need to sort out your life, come out of that room! Hiding in Grimauld place will do you no good. It isn't helping the rest of the world either. I know that I can't even begin to imagine the feeling of what it must be like for…but Harry you can't cry forever. You are not the only one that's hurting!"

If only we could break in, thought Hermione, but Harry had become a powerful wizard and no one could get past his wards.

Hermione left Harry's door, it was late and she needed rest. Tomorrow she would come back and plead with Harry, like she had done almost every day since the last battle.

* * *

"Harry, get your fucking ass out of that room!"

"Ron! That's hardly going to get him to come out,"

"You were the one who asked for my help!"

"I didn't get you all the way over here to insult him!"

Harry heard his friends arguing as he leant his ear against the door.

He was tearing other people up staying in here; he couldn't rip other people to pieces because he couldn't face anything anymore.

Yesterday, when he had stormed out the room and had seen himself reflected in Hermione's eyes, he almost didn't recognise himself. The look of fear in Hermione's eyes when he had screamed at her… it had almost made him burst into tears. He had never seen her look so scared.

Harry picked up his clothes and strode out the room.

He could only describe the look on Hermione and Ron's faces as completely dumbfounded.

"I'm going for a shower," Harry stated and strode down the corridor, leaving them to gape at his back.

* * *

"Ron, keep Harry preoccupied, try and get him back to a normal routine, and make sure he eats a proper meal. Squid knows he needs it!"

(Editor- Jiggy has a theory that the giant squid is God. No, I don't get it either.)

"And what are you going to do while I am trying to figure our how to work that contraption Muggles call a stove?"

"He needs a holiday on his own; he needs time away from here, with no one to remind him of what has happened. I am going to try and involve as little magic as possible so he just has time to calm down and have some fun. He needs it."

* * *

This is how Harry ended up sitting in a waiting room at an airport, having been waved off by an 'all smiles' Hermione and a very confused Ron – 'Hermione, how did all those men fit in that screen? Maybe Muggles' are clever…but not very nice."

He didn't see why Hermione insisted he flew the Muggle way; all she would tell him was that it would be a good 'Cultural experience'.

It was the first time Harry had been in an airport, but he had checked in his bags without that much drama, and now he was sitting in between a very fat old wrinkly woman who kept dropping her glasses and making Harry get up to look for them under her seat, and a very heavy smoker who was trying to overdose on Nicotine before he was deprived of it for one and a half hours.

Harry choked as the Muggle man turned to him and blew a smoke ring at him, "You're a pretty lad aren't you, want me to get you something?" he slurred at Harry in what was supposed to have been a sexy voice.

Harry knew that he wasn't interested in women, but he had thought that not many people swung his way. Nevertheless this man smoked more than a chimney, and seemed a bit…

Harry quickly stood up and switched to a seat across the room and was now stuck in between a scary teenager who was dressed like Judgment day had come early with more piercings than Harry could count, and a very stereotypical American who kept asking Harry to take pictures of him and his wife.

He couldn't win could he – and he thought he had escaped hell…

* * *

_**Just a quick A/N it is not necessary to read this bit, you can start again where I leave my next note, it is just a little intro (Editor – but it is funny, so I advise you read it.)**_

"Hello, and welcome to Easy Jet 438 to Geneva. If you're going to Geneva, you're in the right place. If you're not going to Geneva, you're about to have a really long evening."

"We'd like to tell you now about some important safety features of this aircraft. The most important safety feature we have aboard this plane is...The Flight Attendants. Please look at one now."

"There are 5 exits aboard this plane: 2 at the front, 2 over the wings, and one out the plane's rear end. If you're seated in one of the exit rows, please do not store your bags by your feet. That would be a really bad idea. Please take a moment and look around and find the nearest exit. Count the rows of seats between you and the exit. In the event that the need arises to find one, trust me, you'll be glad you did."

"We have pretty blinking lights on the floor that will blink in the direction of the exits. White ones along the normal rows, and pretty red ones at the exit rows."

"In the event of a loss of cabin pressure these baggy things will drop down over your head. You stick it over your nose and mouth like the flight attendant is doing now. The bag won't inflate, but there's oxygen there, promise. If you are sitting next to a small child, or someone who is acting like a small child, please do us all a favour and put on your mask first. If you are travelling with two or more children, please take a moment now to decide which one is your favourite. Help that one first, and then work your way down."

"In the seat pocket in front of you is a pamphlet about the safety features of this plane. I usually use it as a fan when I'm having my own personal summer. It makes a very good fan. It also has pretty pictures. Please take it out and play with it now."

"Please take a moment now to make sure your seat belts are fastened low and tight about your waist. To fasten the belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle. To release, it's a pulley thing -- not a pushy thing like your car because you're in an airplane."

"There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide – despite the fact we are underpaid. There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing exit."

"We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight... 'Gone with the Wind."

"In a moment we will be turning off the cabin lights, and it's going to get really dark, really fast. If you're afraid of the dark, now would be a good time to reach up and press the yellow button. The yellow button turns on your reading light. Please don't press the orange button unless you absolutely have to. The orange button is your seat ejection button."

"We're glad to have you with us on board this flight. Thank you for choosing Easy Jet, and giving us your business and your money. If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, please don't hesitate to ask."

"We hope that you have a pleasant flight, we will now be taking off."

_**Start again here**_

Harry wondered who hired these kinds of people when the plane started moving. It jolted and Harry almost hit the front of the seat. He gripped the seat so hard his knuckles turned white. The plane began to pick up speed as it sped down the airway, and Harry almost screamed in terror. They were all going to crash, die and burn – he knew it! Then the plane tilted and Harry let out a squeak, but no more than that as he had almost bitten off his own tongue to stop it. There was a purring noise coming from the plane.

"Is it supposed to do that?" whispered Harry leaning over to the person sitting next to him.

The girl looked up from her sketch book and smiled at him, "Not been on a plane before?" she asked. Harry shook his head.

"Don't worry, it's been a smooth flight so far, and the weather is great for flying. There shouldn't be any turbulence." She smiled again and went back to sketching her landscape. Her friend sitting next to her looked up, and smiled at Harry reassuringly,

"Don't worry, I don't like it either." She smiled again and went back to her sketchbook.

Only when the plane started whirring did Harry begin to doubt the first woman's words.

* * *

A few hours later. Having survived the plane Harry was sitting in the back of the taxi away to a destination that Hermione had failed to tell him, and he couldn't pronounce it reading it off the travel card. The taxi had been swerving around the road for a while now, and Harry had begun to wonder what the taxi driver had been drinking when the taxi stopped.

"We are here," said the taxi driver, turning round and grinning broadly at Harry.

"Thanks," said Harry breathlessly, wondering how many more deathly vehicles he would have to travel on before he reached his destination.

As Harry got out the taxi to get his bags out of the boot he grumbled about how he had never had time to pass his apparition test.

The second Harry had closed the boot, the wheels whirred on the cab and kicked up loads of snow, covering Harry, and drove off into the night.

Harry looked around to try and figure out where he was. He was standing next to a bunch of apartments with a placard outside telling him he was at A block. Harry recalled Hermione saying something about 3A, so he picked up his bags and dragged them up the icy steps.

The door immediately in front of him was marked 3. Harry assumed and hoped that this apartment was the right one.

He got out his wand, looked around to check there were no Muggles and whispered 'Alohamora'.

He entered, slammed the door, and ran straight down the short corridor that faced him. In this room he saw a small kitchen area attached to a living room in which there were two red soft sofas. Harry immediately flopped onto one of these and closed his eyes.

It hadn't been a bad day. True, when the plane was coming into land he had thought that they were crashing and screamed, causing the surrounding people to stare at him and the girl next to him to jump into the arms of her friend, but it hadn't been too bad.

He was asleep within seconds.

* * *

When Harry woke up he had a massive crick in his neck from sleeping like a monkey (i.e. upside down), and his eyes were all clogged up with sleep. He got up and looked in all the cupboards, which only took him about 3 seconds as the kitchen was a poor excuse for a cooking area – it couldn't have been much bigger than his cupboard at the Dursley's.

He was starving and had seen nothing in the cupboards. He wondered what he could do for food as he didn't know what time the shop opened, but was sure that it wouldn't be open at this time in the morning (6:00).

He then thought he could transfigure something he didn't need into food; he searched the rest of the apartment and found: a bathroom smaller than the kitchen, one bedroom just big enough to fit in a double bed with just enough space to walk around and one room which was the size of a child's wardrobe, and this room seemed to fill no purpose at all.)

There was nothing he could transfigure! The flat had been stripped to a bare minimum, there wasn't even toilet roll! (Which at that point for Harry was quite unfortunate.) All there was in the apartment were the two sofas, the empty cupboards and the bed – the bed didn't even have sheets!

He quickly changed into his ski gear (which Hermione had also had the courtesy to get).

Harry thanked his Muggle upbringing as he took the money out of his coat, which he had withdrawn from an account Hermione had set up for him. If he hadn't had uncle Vernon he would have never had been able to work that cash machine, it was confusing enough even for a Muggle.

He avoiding looking at his reflection in the mirror, stuffed the money in his pocket and left the apartment.

Harry was just thinking about how dramatic and impressive he was when he slipped on the icy steps and fell down them. (There were only three - so no need to worry)

He looked up and there standing before him was the girl he had seen yesterday on the plane. She was wearing a bright red outfit with the letters 'ESF' printed on it in large white letters, and her friend was in tow. Her friend appeared to have a problem with the cold since she had obviously pulled on all the clothes she owned and she appeared to have grown to two times her original size since yesterday.

The woman in the red two piece held out her hand to Harry, "You should watch where you're going around here, it gets slippy with all the ice and the guy we pay to clear it all is off sick," Harry stared at her grinning face for a second then took her hand and hauled himself up.

"I take it you are new here, only the new people fall on those steps,"

Harry now felt like an idiot for his ignorance and inability to stay upright.

"If you're new I can show you round a bit," the other girl offered.

"I would come," said the first girl, "but I have to get ready for my first lesson." and with that she speed off up the steps Harry had come down so gracefully a few minutes before. Harry noted with much envy that she didn't even stumble despite the fact she was wearing ski boots.

"Come on," continued the other girl, "You look half starved. I can get you into the bakery before it opens, so you miss the morning rush." With that she set off at a quick trot with Harry in her wake.

However she soon stopped with a look that to some may be described as terror. Harry looked down and adopted a similar expression – more stairs.

* * *

Ten minutes later Harry and the girl were down at the bakery. They both had very sore bums, having had to climb down one more set of stairs (Harry was sure they coulnd't have been wider than his arms width) and a very steep slope. Occasionally when they slipped they had grabbed onto the other and pulled the other down with them.

But now they were there at the bakery- albeit a bit battered but there.

The girl knocked on the shop door.

"Morning Tin-Tin," (pronounced Tan Tan) she shouted.

Harry heard some scuffling and a loud crash. He saw a human figure appear behind the blurred glass; said figure threw the door open and beamed broadly at them.

He was a large man, his mass protruding slightly unnaturally both up and out. His small black matt of hair was flecked with grey. He wore large glasses which rested on his lumpy nose and bristly moustache covering his eyes that danced with excitement in the morning light.

"Bonjour!" he gushed, still grinning like a loon. He swooped down on Harry's companion to kiss her once on each cheek.

"And ou is your friend?" he continued in a French accent so thick it was almost indistinguishable.

It was then Harry realised that he and his companion had never exchanged a proper swap-names greeting as the circumstance in which she had found him had been slightly odd.

There was a slight pause.

"Bonjour, je m'appelle Harry," said Harry in a rush, using just about all the French he actually knew.

"Bonjour Arry! It iz luvle to av you er."

Harry was having slight problems deducing what the man was saying, but figured he couldn't go wrong with smiling at the man so he did.

This caused the man to let out a large booming laugh for reasons Harry couldn't quite fathom, and ushered them inside.

Harry was rushed past a counter and pushed gently but firmly into a chair.

Now he had a good time to look around, the room was a very light wood, but the floor had been tiled pale cream and the curtains had a blue check material which Harry had never seen before. There were abstract paintings of the overlook of the valley painted from what looked like the window Harry was currently sitting next to, but a few of the art pieces on the walls had obviously been cooked. There was one especially large piece which had been made out of specially coloured chocolates; it depicted a life size image of Tin-Tin.

"Vous pouvez gouter un si vous vouliez" said Tin-Tin, seeing Harry looking.

It took a few seconds for Harry to answer as he was trying to decipher the words through the strong accent.

"I couldn't, it looks so lovely and it must have taken so much work."

Tin-Tin did obviously not comprehend what Harry had said, but plucked a white chocolate on the front of his sugar self and handed it to Harry. He then laughed and began talking in fast fluent French to Harry's companion.

Harry put the chocolate in his mouth; it melted instantly on his tongue, thick and creamy.

The chair next to him was pulled out and the girl who had got Harry in sat down with him.

"I'm Hermione by the way," she smiled, "I'm sorry I forgot to mention my name." Her cheeks coloured a little as she smiled at Harry.

Harry found it rather odd that no matter where he was, a Hermione somehow managed to help him in one way or another.

"Why did he let us in?" asked Harry.

"I work here, and he's an old friend of my friend," she smiled again, "I've asked him to get you breakfast before the day starts, you look half starved,"

"He doesn't have to…" started Harry but the other girl cut him off.

"Of course he does silly, he is ever so friendly and open to new people. If you had come with me this early and then paid he would have been kind of insulted… don't ask me why but he likes to be friendly."

"Oh, thank you very much," said Harry.

"I take it you've never skied before."

"How did you guess?"

"You have your thermals on backwards," she said, giggling a bit.

Harry would have felt foolish had a plate with two hot croissants and a dish of butter not been plonked down in front of him. He thanked Tin-Tin and tucked in.

"We are in the apartment next to yours, drop by some time," Hermione got up, "I have to go and serve now, when you're done just take your plate through the door and put it on the counter. Then you might want to hire some skis- go round the corner from here, and the ski shop is right there. Bye!" she waved and dashed off to serve the already waiting customers.

* * *

Harry wondered why he had let Hermione (the magic one) bully him into a holiday, by himself, in a Muggle area. He had managed to get on the chairlift with out killing anyone, and was now wondering how he was supposed to get off again.

He had gone to the ski hire just round the corner as Hermione (the Muggle one) had instructed. He had hired a pair of beginner's skis and tried on numerous amounts of boots. He had heard that ski boots were supposed to be tight, but he hadn't realised they were supposed to cut off one's blood circulation. The man in the shop had been very nice and had given him set of boots after more sets of boots; Harry had felt like he was back in Olivander's for the first time.

He had gone and bought a ski pass for the whole mountain (just in case) and had wondered how he was actually supposed to ski.

He had then seen a large building with the letters 'ESF' in large white block letters stationed over the entrance. For some reason the letters 'ESF' had rung a bell so he had entered and immediately bumped into Hermione's friend.

"Hello, sorry, got to dash, my class is waiting," and with that she had run out the door through which Harry had just entered.

He had gone to a desk, and thankfully the woman behind the desk was an English one in France to improve her French. Harry had asked where he was and she had explained that 'ESF' stood for something Harry now couldn't remember exactly but it had been the ski school.

He momentarily was impressed that the girl was a ski instructor, but had not thought about it too long as the cashier was staring at him rather strangely, so he had booked a lesson for that afternoon, and for every afternoon for the rest of that week.

He had wondered what to do with himself then, so he decided to try his hand at skiing and had got on the chairlift on which all the beginners seemed to be riding.

And that was how Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world, ended up on a chair lift wondering how he was going to get off again, and now suddenly noticing how high up he had gone.

He saw a blue sign with some white blobs on. He was wondering what the significance of these blobs was, when he realised that he sign depicted a man lifting up the bar on the chair lift.

Harry panicked, he was still metres from the get off point!!

He nervously and very half heartedly lifted up the bar; his skis almost instantly hit solid snow. Harry wondered what he was supposed to do now.

There was a man sitting in a hut shouting at him in French, but Harry didn't have a clue what he was saying so ignored him.

The man began to turn purple. Harry still ignored him.

Then the man brought his hand down and slammed a large red button, causing the lift to stop very suddenly. The lift had been going quite fast till that time and Harry fell forward off the chair.

He tried to get up, but couldn't the skis were infuriatingly big and getting in the way.

The man who had previously been screaming hysterically at Harry, now walked over and pulled back his foot as if he was going to kick Harry.

Harry shuffled away ready for the blow, but it never came, one of his feet merely jerked as if someone had hit his ski.

He looked down and saw that the man had taken his ski off for him.

Harry grinned at the man and thanked him. The man looked at him, puzzled, and walked away. Only then did Harry realise he had spoken in English.

He mentally slapped himself for being such a fool.

The chair lift which he had just fell off begun to move again, and Harry got up on his one foot and did his best to run away, which is quite hard with one ski on and only a boot on the other.

He immediately lost his balance and fell again as soon as he was out of the way of the chair lift.

This was not going to be easy.

A few minutes later Harry was standing at the top of the slope out of the two which seemed less steep, although to Harry they both seemed to be verging on vertical. Harry used his pole to push off from the slope. He slowly began to descend, knees pulled together like they were tied with chains, the rest of him shaking all over. He thought it was quite a pleasant feeling to glide. That was until gravity was included in the equation; he began to pick up speed. The more speed he picked up the more he panicked.

What shall I do? he thought. How do I turn? What do I do to stop myself? Do I need to fall over? Am I going to be in one piece when I get to the bottom?

All these questions flashed in Harry's mind as he sped down the slope.

Harry saw a corner coming at, what appeared to him to be very great speed.

He saw no other option.

He threw himself over sideways.

The cold snow covered him, got down his neck, down his trousers, up his back, in his hair, behind his glasses- to be honest there wasn't a place what snow hadn't got.

He heard a loud cackle above him.

There was a snowboarder sitting a few metres above Harry. The snowboarder had black sallopettes on (A/N for those who don't know sallopettes is a fancy word for ski trousers) which he was wearing as hipsters. You could see a bit of fresh white stomach in between his sallopettes and the black tank top he was wearing and despite the cold he wasn't wearing anything else except a hair tie, keeping most of his sleek black shiny hair out of his eyes, and a pair of glasses which were also black and glinted green when they caught the sun. Harry thought that the snowboarder would have been extremely attractive had he not been laughing (in a mean way) at Harry's misfortune.

Then Harry a good look at the nose on which the sunglasses rested. He couldn't mistake that hooked nose anywhere.

It was Severus Snape.

_**Hope you liked it! Make sure that you review, because otherwise I feel unloved and I don't post as fast, not because I don't want to, more because I feel a bit like a loser and don't know what people think of my work – therefore I don't know if it worth posting. And your opinions matter to me, I cherish them like my 60's hat and my rope (for tying people up), that means they matter a lot.**_

_**:D Jiggy :D Oh yes, and thanks to Hermione for being a great editor!**_

_**Editor (and now translator)'s Note: The French further up means "**__**You can try one if you want", just in case you were stuck.**_


	2. To ski or not to ski?

_**Disclaimer: I do not own this, I only own a Harry Plushie which I named Snarry but that is it.**_

_**Summary: Hopefully you know this already, unless you have decided to be special and skip chapter one.**_

"Snape…Snape…Severus Snape?!" (Editor's note: you will only get this joke if you have watched "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" Potter Puppet Pals YouTube video – I advise you to do it is very funny.)

Harry felt his stomach boil with rage, partly because Snape was still sitting up the slope splitting his sides at Harry's fall, but mainly because he had found the man convicted of murder, but whom everyone had presumed dead after he had killed Dumbledore.

And why the hell out of all places had he turned up in a Muggle ski resort?

Harry stuck his face in the snow, puzzling.

Snape's laughter was now dying to a very pig like snort and after a couple of very unattractive splutters Harry heard the man get up and the snow crunch as he glided over it.

There was a sudden crunch as the gliding stopped right beside Harry,

"Are you going to get up? Or will I have to call a copter?" asked the unmistakable sarcastic smarm of Snape (Try saying that one ten times faster).

He doesn't know it's me, thought Harry. Then he realised he was wearing a pink bobble hat decorated with white snowmen and snowflakes (also courtesy of Hermione).

The snow crunched once more and firm hands grasped him (maybe a little too forcefully) and shook Harry's shoulders.

"Are you alright, Madam?"

Harry flared, he may have been wearing a pink bobble hat but being mistaken for a woman…?!

He let out a sound which sounded a bit like a sleeping lion which had been poked in the eye.

He tried to jump to his feet.

Note the word "tried."

Due to the unnecessary largeness (well, they were in Harry's opinion) of his skis, he got up and promptly toppled over backwards.

This time down the slope.

For those who have been skiing you will know that falling backwards down the slope is extremely painful, due to the fact you don't have the regular 90 degrees to fall, you usually have at least an extra 20.

He was completely winded, and the few seconds of incapacitation on his part gave Snape sufficient time to conclude that Harry (or the woman) was not going to die, and he snowboarded off at high speed, leaning impressively into the corners.

Harry watched him go, and then wondered why he hadn't reprimanded the man. He would just have to hope that he saw him again.

Harry then embarked on his version of Mission Impossible – getting up and making his way to the bottom alive.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

About an hour later (okay, Harry admitted, maybe a bit longer)

he was a few metres from the bottom. He had never been so happy in all his 18 years to see solid, flat ground.

The snow he had acquired from his numerous falls had begun to melt and he could feel the residue dripping down his back.

He side-stepped the rest of the way down, and then began to wonder how the hell he was supposed to get his skis off.

He tried shaking his foot.

Nothing happened.

He put one ski on the other and tried to wrench his foot out the ski.

Nothing happened, except he heard his ankle crack in a very unpleasant way.

He tried various other ways to part with his skis, but to no avail. In the end he shouted at them, and tried to kick them, but only succeeded in almost falling over again. Harry looked around to check no one had spotted his blunder.

Thank Squid everyone seemed to be minding their own business.

He let out a sigh of relief. He then heard a muffled giggle and someone behind him tapped him on the shoulder.

(A/N the scary thing is my editor actually talks like this)

"I've seen beginners try to take off their skis in numerous ways, but I have never seen someone converse with them. What an unusual way to take off one's skis, you'll be attempting to magic them next!"

Harry then realised that that would have been quite a good idea.

He turned around to see Hermione. For a second he thought the magical one had been following him all this time, but then he saw the glasses and realised it was the Muggle one, but they did look worryingly similar.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" asked Harry, trying, and failing, to cover up the fact that he did not appreciate being laughed at.

"Sorry," said Hermione, ironing out her features, "I saw you having an argument with your skis, and wondered if you want to come over for a drink?"

"Cool," said Harry, "My place or yours?"

"Well… I was thinking the café, but come back to our place. I would love to show you round,"

And with that she lifted up her foot and stamped on Harry's skis. Harry was just wondering what in Squid's name she was doing, when he felt his heels pushed free of the skis.

Hermione sighed and showed him the correct way to pack away, take off and carry skis. (A/N Hermione has obviously had a lot of practice since when I last saw her, watching her pack away skis is like watching a comedy slapstick show.)

Hermione threw Harry's skis over her shoulder (no, not literally, I mean she put his skis on her shoulder) and carried them off for him.

Harry meekly followed in her wake.

OoOoOoO

"My roommate might be in," stated Hermione, taking out a set of keys and fiddling with them until she produced a silver key which had been painted violet but obviously badly chipped.

Hermione pushed open the door and strode inside, "Come in," she encouraged, beckoning to Harry.

"Who have you brought home?" said a disembodied voice.

"The fool from next door," Hermione shouted at the living room.

Harry resented being called a fool and shot Hermione a death glare.

She had the decency to look uncomfortable. "It's what we called you before we found out your real name…Drink?" she suddenly said, smiling inanely, and walked out of Harry's view around the corner.

"We have water, milk…"

"Tequila, beer…"

"Juice, smoothie, coke…"

"Malibu, wine, Irish cream…" came the voice of the other girl, once again overriding Hermione.

"Stop trying to get our guests drunk! This guy will not sleep with you!"

"I know he won't – he is gay!"

"Will you stop accusing everyone of being gay?"

"I do not!"

Harry stood in the doorway rooted to the spot by the oddness and awkwardness of this conversation.

"Yes, you do," continued Hermione," If not then remind me, why did your last boy friend leave?"

"Because he actually was gay, he is now living in C Block with another man!"

Hermione was silent.

But only for a moment.

"Then what about MY ex-boyfriend, who left me for a WOMAN because he couldn't stand having his sexuality questioned every time he came within five metres of you!"

"He was in denial! And his new girl friend looks like a man anyway!"

Hermione was once again silent.

"That doesn't mean you can just accuse strangers of being gay,"

"But he is! Come in by the way,"

Harry cautiously entered as Hermione shot a hot retort at the other girl.

The apartment he was not pleased to see was bigger than his, but he was pleased to note that it was still quite small.

Hermione was standing by the sink brandishing a smoothie carton threateningly at the other girl who seemed to be taking the argument as a joke and rolling around the sofa laughing, wearing only a bra and jeans.

"…and put some clothes on you're scaring him!"

Him has a name, thought Harry.

"It doesn't matter, he is gay anyway" stated the other girl, getting up and walking over to Harry, grinning at him.

Hermione was just about to retort when Harry, ears wringing from the shrill pitch of the argument, interrupted…

"I'M GAY, OKAY?"

The girl in front of him smiled at him, almost blinding him with her whites.

"Want some tea, Harry?" asked Hermione, through her teeth.

OoOoOoO

"I have to go, I have a lesson to take," the door slammed.

"I had better go too, I have a lesson to be at," Harry explained and stood up.

"Drop by later, yeah?" asked Hermione, having dropped her sour mood.

"Yeahiwillthanksforthedrinkandiwillseeyoulaterbye." said Harry so fast it was almost incoherent. Hermione gave him a puzzled and lonely look, but Harry didn't care. He ran out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him.

He sprinted out of the block of apartments, fell down the killer steps, got up and carried on to sprinting.

Had he really seen Snape out of the window?

He almost flew around the last corner, and saw that he had been right. There was Severus Snape climbing up a long stretch of stairs, carrying his board.

"Snape! Snape!" the man didn't turn round.

Harry would have run up the stairs after him, had the altitude not been depriving him of oxygen.

But before he could shout for Snape again the other man had turned the corner and disappeared form view.

_**I will be updating ASAP this is just a little note to say that I know this chapter is short compared to the other one, but if I went for 5,000 words per chapter I would never post anything.**_

_**Anyway review please (Puppy dog eyes) at the moment I am on more alert lists than I have reviews and remember the more reviews the faster I update! (No, that was not a threat – merely an incentive)**_

_**Also I do know what has to be on your job CV to work at ESF, but I bend and twist it to suit my own needs for this story, I am not going to stick to reality all the time.**_

_**Much thanks to Hermione for editing!**_


	3. The first lesson and the Snake

**Here is the next chapter. Yay. Don't you all love me for my swift updating? Despite the fact it is a short chapter, because I had an aim for this chapter and I reached it in fewer words than I anticipated. **

**Disclaimer: No, these characters do not belong to me (except the ones that you haven't heard of before in which case they are mine – and I take great pride in the old lady I made up) What does belong to me are the embarrassing actions that go on in this (They are all based off personal experience). Oh yes, another thing that doesn't belong to me- the ski instructor (not Hermione's friend). He doesn't appear in Harry Potter but he is not made up – he is in fact based off a real person I have met (eek!)**

Harry got on the button lift for the second time. He had come to the lesson meeting point after having lost Snape, only to be greeted by a screaming, red faced Frenchman.

He was then told that this insane man was to be his instructor. He had then been dragged by his ear to a ski slope that could have been no more than 200 yards long and a few degrees off horizontal.

Once there the ski instructor had shouted at him again, for reasons Harry couldn't fathom. The man had then ceased to shout, and, albeit breathing a bit heavily, had carried on like a normal civil being.

The first run down the slope had gone quite well, the ski instructor hadn't transformed into a monster and Harry had only fallen over twice.

The chair lift Harry had ascended earlier, according to the ski instructor was 'Fur peepul wiz talent'.

So they were now stuck on this flat garden of land with five year olds gliding past Harry with ease.

Harry was now clutching the button lift for dear life, reminiscing about the last run down, during which he had crashed into a tree.

Harry was mentally berating himself when he lost his balance and fell off the lift – normally this would be nothing, new beginners fall off the lift all the time.

But Harry – being Harry – had to be a little more dramatic. The pole off which he had fallen off, now relieved of Harry's weight, had bounced up, and hit a passing pylon- to be more precise, a big red button on a passing pylon. The lift gave a great whirr and stopped.

OoOoOoOoO

Half an hour later Harry found himself enduring another yelling from his instructor, spit flying all over him.

"You 'av brokin ze lift! Brokin! It vil tak 'ours to fixz it! I can nut ski wiz you anymur, you are impossible, go ome!"

So that is what Harry did, he trudged up a very steep icy slope, skis over his shoulder, wondering if he would ever get the hang of this skiing thing.

He could kill people with a single flick of his wand, but he couldn't ski. That thought made him feel so good...

Just as Harry was concocting a spell in his head that would levitate his skis for him without looking obvious to the Muggles, a huge ball of something came hurtling down the slope, hitting him in the chest and knocking him all the way back down the hill again.

Harry lay on top of his skis, tangled with the stranger and his poles.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked. The stranger, who had been wriggling around trying to de-tangle itself from Harry, stiffened.

"I know that voice," came the whisper of Severus Snape's voice from somewhere around Harry's midriff,

"Harry Potter!" he screamed, jumping up and pointing at Harry. He then turned and began to run, hands groping at his salopette pockets all the time – presumably fumbling for his wand.

Harry's hand instinctively flew to his waist to get his own wand out of his waistband, but it wasn't there. He had left it in his apartment for fear of snapping it.

So Harry did the only thing he could think of doing,

"That man tried to rape me!" he screamed. All he got were a few odd looks and Snape turned to gape at him.

Then a French voice rang out, "Cet homme a essayé de le violer!"

Harry turned around to see Hermione standing there, looking worried.

"Harry, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine...fine,"

"But that man tried to rape you!"

"No, he didn't."

Hermione looked seriously puzzled.

"I needed to stop him to talk to him and he wouldn't come back."

Hermione looked upon Harry with a new, very uneasy, light.

"Well, you've succeeded in stopping him," said Hermione, still shocked.

Harry turned around again to see Snape being held down by 3 very angry Frenchmen whilst being hit over the head by a very old lady wielding a baguette.

Harry ran over, "I will take him to the police station!" The Frenchmen looked at him, puzzled, but the old woman was indifferent and continued to hit Snape with her baguette.

Hermione, who had followed Harry over, interjected in French.

The woman looked up and nodded, she then turned back to Snape, baguette held high, made a very angry growling noise and hit him in the salopettes. Snape crumpled and the men who had been holding him down let go and followed the woman away.

Harry bent down next to Snape, reached in his pocket and took his wand.

"What was that?" asked Hermione.

"Just something that belongs to me – he stole it," Harry replied, "Will you help me take him back to my apartment?"

"Sure, but it will have to be quick, I have to get back to work before the evening rush. I'll take your stuff, you can take him. What's he done, anyway?"

Harry picked up Snape while wondering how to answer her question. He wondered how she would react if he told her this man was wanted for the murder of the most brilliant wizard of all time.

"Hello?"

"He killed the headmaster of my old school."

Hermione would have put her hands to her mouth in shock had they not both been holding ski equipment. "That's terrible! Why isn't he in prison?"

"That's what I want to know," said Harry breathlessly, as he was still dragging the limp Snape up the steep hill.

They reached the top of the hill and the bottom of the set of steps from hell.

"Look, I have to go. I'm late and we aren't far from the apartment. I'll leave your skis here and you can come and get them in a second." With that Hermione dropped Harry's skis and ran off.

Harry sighed and bent down; Snape was beginning to move, and judging from his body language he wasn't very happy.

Harry grabbed Snape's pony tail and pulled it back so Snape was looking at the sky.

"Right Snake," Harry whispered in his ear, "You are going to come quietly with me, there are people around – so if you try and pull a sly stunt I will shout "rape" again. I also have your wand, so don't even think about that." Harry pulled Snape to a standing position and grasped his hand, interlocking their fingers to make sure Snape didn't get away.

"Now carry my skis for me, Snake."

* * *

At the top of the steps (which had taken a while to navigate due to the fact Harry wouldn't let go of Snape) Harry saw the apartment block and sighed. Almost time to confront him.

Snape was bent over, gasping for air in the oxygen deprived climate.

A window burst open, "Harry, hi!" Hermione's friend was leaning out of the window waving at him, dressed in a towel.

Harry wondered while he was waving back if the girl actually wore real clothes inside at all.

"How are you?" he beamed down at him and Snape who was still bent over double.

"Fine thanks, you?"

"I'm good - got the afternoon off cause my lesson was cancelled!"

"Great," beamed Harry, wondering how to get away without seeming rude.

"Is that your boyfriend?"

Harry and Snape's heads both snapped up to glare at her.

"Sorry, I guess not. It's just that I know you're gay Harry, and you are holding his hand and he is carrying your stuff for you and all."

Harry mentally slapped himself and forgave the other girl. He and Snape must look pretty intimate.

It would be nice to have someone to be intimate with, thought Harry, earning himself another mental slap.

Snape was obviously not sharing Harry's train of thought "I'm not gay! Jesus! Can't I even fucking help someone out without being accused of homosexuality?" he sneered.

A phone began ringing. "Got to go, see you later," she trilled, and with that she vanished into her window.

Snape glared at the window as it had done him a personal wrong.

"Move ,Snake," Harry hissed at him. Snape began to trudge up the path.

Harry pulled him into the correct doorway. He pushed open the door.

"Now Snake, I want you to go inside, hands on your head, and sit on the sofa. Then, don't make a move or I swear, questioned or not, I will kill you with a flick of my wrist."

Snape did as he was told, sitting moodily on the sofa, "You have it wrong as usual, Potter," he sneered. "I expect a full apology when you figure out what is going on."

"I will never apologise to you, you Snake. There is no punishment bad enough for someone like you!" Harry spat in Snape's general direction as he picked up his own wand, and tucked Snape's into his waistband.

"Where did you go after- ARGHHH!"

"Sorry?" Snape asked, pulling his eyes away from the window and turning back to Harry, only to discover Harry had gone.

_**Laughs manically We like cliff hangers, non? Ducks hard flying objects Just me then?**_

_**Quick favour to ask of all my faithful readers, have you been skiing? If yes then fantastic, let me know about your embarrassing moments, the best ones will appear in the fic :D I would use all mine but some are quite embarrassing... that is all I am saying. So let me know about the stupid things you have done, I would love to hear!**_

_**Thanks again to my editor!**_

_**(Editor's Note: The French above was translated by me wielding a dictionary, so while I think it's mostly right, if some fluent or good French speaker could just make sure and review if it's wrong that would be great. Normally I'd ask my French mother but, obviously, that would be a little awkward due to the content.) **_


	4. The note that changes everything

_**Slightly longer chapter as I am going into the exam period and me and my editor will be busy – so we aren't quite sure when the next post will be. But reviews do distract me from revision somewhat, .:Grins:.**_

Severus jumped up. Now was his time to go! He tip-toed over to the door, grinning like a mad man. He opened it and was about to slip out when he heard a shout.

"Levicorpus!"

The next thing Snape knew he was suspended upside down by his ankle.

Harry got up from behind the sofa to see Snape slowly rotating in the air.

"Don't even try getting away," Harry sneered.

He took his eyes off Snape and stared at the owl which had flown through the window, knocking him behind the sofa. It was hopping around on the kitchen table, flapping a letter in Harry's direction.

Harry turned back to Snape, who was now turning slightly purple in the face, still suspended upside down.

"I'll take you back to the Order in a second and you will be questioned there. Don't move."

"Not like you gave me a choice, is it Potter?" Snape snarled. You could see the venom dripping from his lips.

"Yeah...well...whatever." Harry replied lamely.

Snape did something that could be described as a hiss but was probably a snarl and Harry turned back to the hyperactive owl.

He took the letter and the owl immediately flapped its wings and took off, looping-the-loop and somersaulting in mid air until Harry could no longer see it.

Harry looked at the scribbled address on the letter.

There wasn't one. That was odd.

Harry opened the letter. It was in Hermione's curly writing, but it was messy. It had obviously been written in a hurry.

_Dear Harry,_

_I have to hurry, the Order has had to evacuate Grimmauld Place. The remaining Death Eaters have found us, after the betrayal of our new secret keeper, Nymphadora Tonks. They are out looking for revenge, Harry. They no longer care if they live or die. After you killed Voldemort, you stripped them of everything they had and left them with one place to go – Azkaban. It doesn't matter to them any more if they die trying because they are sentenced to a life time in Azkaban no matter what they do. This makes them all the more dangerous, they will do anything to see you dead, Harry._

_You may have noticed I didn't put an address on the letter. That is just in case it got intercepted. I am not enclosing the Order's current position either, partly for the same reason, but mostly because I care about you, Harry. They have the same Inferis. I don't want a repeat of what happened, Harry, I can't bear to see you closed off again. Stay where you are, do not even try and make contact - no owl will find us. Stay put, no–one will find you there, I will make further contact as soon as I can._

_Lastly the Order has recently received information that one Severus Snape is alive. Apparently he never went back to Voldemort after killing Dumbledore. Keep an eye out Harry, his position is un-known. We think he may have lost his nerve and fled or gone mad. The latter is the option we believe to be true at the moment…_

_Take care of yourself, Harry, stay safe._

_Love, Hermione._

Tonks had betrayed them?! Harry scrunched his hand into a fist and hit the wall, but all he got was painful knuckles.

Tonks and he had been so close. He had saved her life twice, she had saved his sanity and taken care of him when he most needed her. Now he thought about it, she had become a sort of mother figure, someone he could go to when things were going badly, someone who would care for him and love him no matter what he did.

It was like a pet he had always loved had suddenly grown fangs and turned savage.

Harry felt a tear slide down his cheek, but remembering Snape, he quickly wiped it away on the pretext of running his hand through his hair.

Wait a second, SNAPE!

Harry looked up to see a beetroot Snape still dangling upside down, breathing heavily and still rotating.

Harry let him down and he hit the floor with a sickening crunch.

Harry closed the front door and levitated the groaning Snape onto the sofa.

Harry sat on the sofa opposite Snape, and waited for Snape to come round properly.

As he waited, he brooded. So Snape hadn't gone back to the Shit Eaters and Voldemort? Where had he gone then? Had he come straight to the Muggle ski resort? If so, why?

Too many questions, no answers. Harry's head was beginning to pound like an angry, drunken Filch had been assaulting him with a fanged Frisbee and women's hair products.

But the question that bugged Harry the most was, why did Snape not choose a side to go back to – had he really wimped out? Harry had always hated Snape but he had never doubted that Snape would choose a side.

The real Snape just then began to stir. He groaned and clutched his head.

Maybe Harry shouldn't have dropped him so hard.

Snape sat up slowly clutching his head like it might fall off and groaning like there was no tomorrow. He brought his head up and glared at Harry.

"Fucking inconsiderate brat, why did you fucking drop me so hard on my head? Are you trying to fucking kill me? You don't even know what's fucking going on, you fucking ..." Harry switched off about that point and let Snape rant to himself for a bit, "...are you even fucking listening to me?" Harry snapped out of his reverie.

"No," Harry replied truthfully,

Snape seemed to become even madder, but only for a second. His Slytherin mask was soon back on and his face was back to his usual Snapeish self.

"You are just as insolent as you were when you were at school, Potter," sneered Snape. His voice also was back to its silky, smarmy, Slytherin self, cool and collected but also sleek and slippery.

"Now is not the time to look down on me, Snape," Harry spat, trying but failing to match Snape's sneer. Harry was too angry for calm degrading sarcasm.

"I am afraid, Potter, I find it quite hard not to look down on you, but I would have to say that is not my fault but yours,"

Harry couldn't think of a comeback to that one, so he changed the subject.

"Why are you here, Snape?"

"Because you convinced some French people I was a rapist and I was knocked out with a baguette and you uncouthly dragged me here,"

Harry didn't much appreciate this answer, and tried to death glare, but only receive a more expert one back.

"You know what I mean, Snape, why are you in this Muggle ski resort? Why did you kill Dumbledore and then not return to Voldemort? I don't know why I am wasting my breath; you can probably guess what I want to know,"

"Yet again, Potter, you display an uncanny knack for being very ignorant and expecting to get what you want, but I can assure you I am not against you,"

"Then why won't you tell me what is going on?"

"Because, Potter," Snape spat, green venom oozing from his pores, "You are determined to hate me, and if I tell you what is going on, you will hate me anyway and still insist I am sent to Azkaban, even if you can't find a reason for it, just because you hate me, always have, always will. You are determined to believe that I am the bad guy in this equation, and if I tell you my story now, I won't have another chance to tell it in court because you will have already convinced the judge, having already heard my story and having had time to think of a good counter argument, that what I say is a lie and I am not worth listening to. And to break it down for a brain such as yours, Potter, the reason is: you are determined to believe what you want to – in this case you are determined to hate me." Snape hadn't breathed through his whole speech and he had practically spat the whole thing at Harry, who was still having trouble comprehending what Snape had said.

Harry was just about to tell Snape that he wasn't and to stop calling him stupid, that Snape was the stupid one for not telling him what was going on, when there was a knock at the door.

"Go get it," Harry snarled.

Snape got up and made for the door, Harry pointing his wand at the traitor's back all the time.

Snape opened the door, "I should have known you wouldn't go anywhere without your little entourage, Potter," Snape stepped aside to reveal Hermione standing in the door way.

"And I am sure that Miss Granger will have her wand trained on my back right now, so you can put yours away now, Potter, if I am hexed into next week I wish it to be done by someone with brains," the muggle Hermione took her glasses from her pocket and stared at Snape's back like he was a lunatic – well it must have seemed like it to her.

Harry did the only thing he could think of, fake ignorance "Hexed, wands? What are you talking about Snape?"

"You know perfectly well, Potter, you attended my Potion classes for five years, now if you don't stop acting like an idiot, Miss Granger will think you have gone insane and send you to Azkaban with me,"

Behind Snape's back Hermione was looking thoroughly confused and miming asking Harry if the man was mad.

"Harry, I was wondering if you want to come next door for a drink, haven't you got rid of this guy yet?"

"This guy? You know perfectly well who I am, Granger, don't play dumb, your brain power far exceeds the IQ you are currently achieving."

"I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue who you are." Hermione said somewhat unsteadily.

"Of course you do!" snapped Snape whirling around "Not." he added hastily seeing that this girl was not the magic Hermione, there were a few subtle differences. Snape kept his face straight and turned around to swoop back to the sofa. Even though he was not showing emotion, Harry was sure he saw a slight pink tinge against Snape's ghost white cheeks.

"So do you want to come?" Hermione persisted, "and why haven't you got rid of this guy?"

"I need to wait for a while; my lawyer hasn't got the message yet,"

"Oh, he can come round too then? You obviously can't leave him here, he might do a runner,"

"Oh damn, I forgot, I didn't do the shopping today. I'll have no tea or breakfast. Better go before the shop closes."

There, Harry thought, that will get rid of her – now I can stay here and interrogate Snape without seeming rude!

"Good idea, I will go with you! I need to get some stuff too, just let me go get my shopping bag," Hermione smiled and dashed off.

"You weren't really going shopping were you, Potter?" asked Snape, standing up.

"And you accuse me of having no brains," Harry retorted tartly.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Harry stood in front of the French milk wondering, out of all 13 brands which one was the nicest semi-skimmed?

Hermione was stood in the pasta isle conversing in fluent (if slightly hesitant) French with Snape.

Was there anything that man **couldn't **do? Except for be nice of course.

He was an expert potion maker, amazing at DADA and a master at duelling, and now Harry found out he was a pro snowboarder and a fluent French speaker.

Hermione came up behind Harry with Snape.

"Harry, are you sure your friend is a murderer?" she asked, "He is really pleasant and polite – he is helping me practice my French,"

Harry decided not to dignify that question with an answer and instead settled for asking which the best quality half fat milk was.

Hermione picked a bottle with a blue cap off the shelf and dropped it in Harry's basket.

"Why do you call him Snape anyway, Harry? His name is Severus,"

"Snape is his last name," Harry replied, not really answering the question, but Hermione dropped it and moved on.

"Why don't you let him do the shopping? He speaks fluent French, he could get it done a lot faster,"

Harry wondered how best to answer this question without giving the real answer: 'I don't want him to poison my food,' which would have sounded even weirder than Snape accusing Hermione of having a wand trained on his back.

"I want to practice my French," Harry lied.

Hermione smiled at him , "It's good to see you appreciate culture properly," Harry was just about to pin her to the toilet paper rack behind her and accuse her of following him and being the real Hermione, when she spoke again.

"I'll go back to the flat and put all this stuff away and get our drinks for you. Come round after you have dropped the shopping off in your apartment," she grinned like a lunatic and practically skipped off.

"Looks like we are going for drinks, Potter," Snape sneered behind him, "You will have to wait even longer to get the truth out of me."

"Oh just shut up," Harry retorted and stalked off into the tinned vegetable isle, Snape following in his wake, his face twisted into what looked like a leer, but was actually a triumphant smile. He loved it that Harry couldn't speak French, he didn't know what Snape had gotten him in for. Snape was immensely looking forward to tomorrow.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Harry knocked on the door to A2, though he doubted that they could hear him inside, the music was playing so loud.

He waited for a few minutes, Snape standing beside him, arms folded, looking moody. Harry knocked again.

This time the door opened revealing a mad looking Hermione, hair sticking up in various directions, cheeks a deep shade of red with her fists clenched, "Come on in, Harry, Severus," she nodded curtly , and ushered them inside.

They made their way along the short corridor and into the living room where the music was loudest. Inside the room was the culprit CD player whirring happily in the corner. On one of the sofas was Hermione's dorm mate, yet again dressed in jeans, bra and nothing else. She was jumping up and down on one of the sofas, doing the air guitar and singing (although you couldn't hear her, the music was so loud) into a hairbrush.

Harry and Snape stood in the door and shot the other one a look that told the other one that they were thinking the same thing ("Help!").

Meanwhile Hermione had stormed into the room, flung a shirt at the other girl and was now tugging the hair brush out of her dorm mate's vice like grip.

Harry watched in amusement, as the argument progressed. The girls were opening and closing their mouths, but due to the loud music it was impossible to hear any sound that might be being emitted from their jabbering lips. A completely mute argument.

Eventually the other girl shrugged and Hermione ran over to the CD player and turned it off.

Harry was just marvelling at how the girls had managed to hear each other over the music when Hermione started talking.

"Aren't you supposed to be out with Pierre?"

"God no, dumped him," replied the other girl simply.

"Then who is the date with?"

"Cherie, which reminds me, I had better go," and with that she grabbed up the shirt Hermione had thrown at her, put it on and dashed out waving to Harry and Severus on the way out.

"I swear she has no conscience," grumbled Hermione fondly, "Drink? We have water, milk, juice..."

"Do you have whiskey?" Snape interrupted

"Knowing her," Hermione rammed her thumb in the general direction of the window through which you could now see her dorm mate with a French man wrapped around her and kissing her fiercely, " We have any alcoholic drink you want," Hermione walked over to the window she had just been pointing at and shut the curtains.

She then came over to Harry and bent down to a cupboard at his feet, "If you want to have a rummage through here and pick out a drink," she said straightening up, "Harry, what do you want?"

"Just water is great," Harry replied.

Hermione sat him down on the sofa with his respective drink and turned back to Snape, who had bent down in the most elegant way possible and was now rummaging through the alcohol cabinet, "How much does this girl drink?"

"I don't know, but I have never seen her with a hang over," said Hermione.

Harry heard Snape mutter something that sounded a lot like 'Lucky bugger' and he brought his hand out of the cabinet clutching a large bottle.

Hermione passed him a glass and he poured a generous measure before, replacing the bottle and sitting as far away from Harry as he possible could. Hermione sat between them smiling and looking as though this drinks idea wasn't such a good one.

_About an hour and a lot of idle chat and awkward silence later._

"Can I use your bathroom?" asked Snape trying to take the sneer out of his voice but failing miserably. He needed to practice taking that sneer out, but he had had it for too long now.

"No," said Hermione and burst out laughing. Harry and Snape looked at her like she was mad. Eventually her laughter died down to a snort, "Course, through that door and then it's through the only door in there,"

Snape put his glass on the coffee tae and glided (there was no other word for it) out of the room.

"Don't worry," said Hermione, "He can't get out of there, there is only one way out of that room and that is through the window, which is 13 ft or so off the ground above a load of really sharp rocks."

Harry let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

"Severus said that you two could come skiing tomorrow," Harry backwashed about a gallon of his water and began choking.

"He's not told you then?" asked Hermione.

"When did you sort this out?" spluttered Harry.

"In the shop, when we were talking in French,"

"Don't you and your friend have to work?" Harry asked, trying to get out of it. He didn't want to look like an idiot in front of everyone.

"No, we both have the morning off,"

"I can't ski very well,"

"Never mind,"

"But I have to..." Harry got no further as Snape had come out of the bath room and cut across him,

"No point making excuses, Potter, we are going,"

"Why do you care so much?" Harry gave Snape an accusing stare, as Snape lifted his eyebrows.

"Well that's settled," said Hermione cheerfully, "We will meet at 7 tomorrow then?"

"7! ARE YOU MAD?" Harry demanded.

"I assumed you were a morning person seeing as you were up at 6 this morning," Harry yet again had no answer.

"Better get to bed," she continued, "If we want to get up early enough tomorrow," and with that she took their glasses from them and bundled them unceremoniously out the door.

Once back in 3A Harry rounded on Snape, "I can't believe you! You know I will get the truth out of you! Tonight!" The last word Harry finished with a yawn, "Tomorrow morning then," Harry said decisively. Snape cocked an eyebrow,

"Please amaze me, Potter, how are you to manage that when we are to meet at 7?"

Harry growled, "Tomorrow night then," and with that he pushed Snape down onto the sofa, cast a binding spell on him so he had no chance of escape, and stalked into his bedroom.

_**Right, feeling very unloved due to lack of reviews (I know some of you review) but I know that many of you don't, I am on more alert lists than I have reviews! (That really make me feel good, she says voice dripping with sarcasm) Thanks to the people who did review but to the people who didn't I excepted better of Snarry fans. Come on people .:waves encouraging flag:.**_

_**Also if you have noticed there are quite a few mysteries that I haven't solved yet (well I have but I haven't told you yet) such as what happened to Harry that screwed him up and of course where Snape went and why (there are a few more subtle mysteries), blah blah blah, please don't ask me to answer those questions in reviews – I am not going to tell you. Why would I write this fic if I was going to tell you what was going to happen in answers to reviews? Sorry had to get that out of my system XD.**_

_**Anyway, sorry for the Tonks thing to those who worship her, someone had to go bad, but you will hear more about that later.**_

_**So review, but don't ask stupid questions that I am not going to answer. Thanks to frizz for editing this one (me editor is currently drowning in work and couldn't make it for this one).**_


	5. The True Dream

_**Heavy hintage in this chapter! Cookies to those who can figure out what I'm on.**_

_Harry was up to his neck in snow. He craned his neck round and saw Snape sitting a way up the slope, wearing a pink hat and laughing at Harry. The snow was drowning Harry like it was sinking sand and Harry saw, behind Snape, his mother and father appear, clothes hanging off their skeletal figures, their eyeless sockets boring into him, scorching their mark in his mind._

_Snape was laughing, "You will never get me now, Potter," he cackled. "Potter! Potter!"_

Harry sat up straight up in bed. Thank God it had only been a dream, he thought...

"POTTER!"

No time to ponder now.

Harry got out of bed and made his way through to the sitting room, rubbing the grogginess away from his face.

"What do you want?" Harry grumbled.

"I, Potter, like most human beings must relieve myself from time to time,"

"What?"

"I need a piss, Potter," Snape snarled.

"Why did you need to wake me up for that?"

"Because you bound me to the sofa, you forgetful twit,"

Harry went back into the bedroom.

"Come back here," demanded Snape.

Harry re-entered the living room, "I was just getting my wand,"

Harry released Snape and kept his wand trained on the man.

"What are you doing Potter?" Snape half spat, half sighed.

"Making sure you don't do a runner," Harry replied simply, "I know you would do anything, you bastard," he carried on in a whisper.

"Potter, you suddenly seemed concerned, and it seems to me as if you have only recently remembered to point your wand at me all the time,"

"Yesterday, Hermione was there,"

"And in the shop and on the way up when she wasn't there?" leered Snape.

"I..." Harry hated to admit it, "…forgot," he reddened considerably.

"Fine saviour of the wizarding world, you are," Snape snarled, but he continued, "And do you not think that I would have escaped in those crucial minutes?"

Harry opened his mouth, shut it them repeated the motion with bigger movements.

"For your information, Potter, I am not going anywhere without my wand, and for another I am sick of hiding. I would do anything to come back to the real world, even risk Azkaban just for a chance to come back," Harry was amazed. Was that...an expression he saw on his old teachers face?!

But it was gone in a second and Harry was staring open mouthed at the closed toilet door.

He sat on the sofa Snape had vacated and stared out of the window. He remembered the dream and saw in his mind's eye, Inferis dragging themselves over the snow towards his apartment. Harry shook himself just as he saw Stan Shunpike climbing onto his balcony.

OoOoOoOoOoO

The door of A2 opened and Hermione stood there grinning like a loony, which she was pretty good at doing.

She was wearing a baby blue suit, which somewhat reminded Harry of a sleeping suit he had seen Dudley wearing in an old photo at the Dursley's, only Hermione's was a lot smaller, despite the fact Dudley had only been about six at the time.

"Just wait there, we're coming now," Hermione beamed again and shut the door in their faces.

Harry and Snape stared at the door for a few minutes before it opened again.

Hermione was carrying the skis and a bag in one hand and her friend in the other.

"It's too early," Harry heard the girl grumble.

Hermione ignored her, "I brought breakfast because I figured you wouldn't have had the chance to go down to the bakery yet. We will eat on the ski lift." Hermione walked out the door past Harry and Snape. She leant her skis against the wall and let go of her friend, who immediately crumpled onto the ground. She then promptly disappeared back inside.

Harry and Snape stared at the black bundle of clothing that was Hermione's friend, which was now rising and falling, breathing as if in a deep sleep, despite the fact she had practically just been dropped onto the floor.

Hermione came back out of her apartment, carrying a snowboard. She slammed the front door and locked it.

"Come on, we're going snow boarding," she said at the black lump on the floor. The black lump immediately stood up, grabbed the snowboard and power walked towards the chair lift.

Hermione smiled fondly after her and followed. Harry and Snape just followed in her wake.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Harry sat in one of the middle seats of a four man chair lift tucking into a pain au chocolat.

"So, Harry, how long have you been skiing?" asked Hermione's friend.

"A day," Harry replied, this caused the girl to bang her head on the bar in front of her.

"Hermione, why didn't you say?" she asked over Harry to her friend who was at the other end of the lift, "He's going to die,"

Harry was not at all comforted by this statement.

"I...I... you were the one who got on this lift!"

"I didn't know he couldn't ski!"

Hermione humphed, crossed her arms and turned the other way, looking out over the frost covered trees.

"I'm not really gong to die, am I...I never got your name?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if you did, and the name is Toni,"

Harry decided that this 'Toni' was far too blunt for his liking, but being in the middle he couldn't stare away, so he crossed his arms, humphed and stared straight ahead.

He heard Toni sigh, turn and start talking to Snape who was on her other side.

"Severus, what did you do before you retired early and came here?"

"I was a teacher at Potter's school,"

"That must be so weird, having a pupil hold your hand, I saw Harry grab yours yesterday,"

There was an awkward pause in which Harry could almost taste the tension and was wondering when Snape would snap under the strain.

"What did you teach?" Toni asked.

There was a longer pause.

"Cooking,"

OoOoOoOoOoO

Harry could see the top and was fully aware they had been going up on the chair lift for at least twenty minutes. Toni pulled up the bar.

Hermione screamed and pulled it back down again, "NO TONI, IT'S TOO EARLY, WE WILL FALL AND DIE!!"

Harry was pleased that at least someone shared his view.

"Hermione, we will have to go all the way round the lift again if we don't lift it up now," Toni said tugging at the bar.

"No! It is far to early," said Hermione, leaning on the bar to stop Toni from lifting it.

Toni death-glared Hermione. Harry noticed she was almost as good as Snape – he made a mental note not to get on the receiving end of one of her stares.

Hermione sighed and lifted herself off the bar to allow Toni to pull it up.

Toni smiled at Harry. "Grab onto me, I'll help you off," Harry was thankful for her help.

He wasn't sure if he liked her or not. She was a bit odd, but she could make him laugh. Harry thought his sides would never recover from the stitch he had acquired from laughing as she had interrogated Snape all the way up the lift, 'Aren't you a bit manly and mean for cooking?'

"Stand up," she commanded, dragging Harry away from his thoughts. Harry grabbed onto Toni's shoulder, as she had had to turn in the other direction to get off the lift due to being Goofy. (A/N Don't know what Goofy is? It is when you lead with your right foot when you snowboard. Want to know whether you're friends are goofy or regular, make them stand still go behind them and give them a nice push, which ever foot they stop them selves falling with is the foot they lead with,)

He just managed to stay up, thank Squid, but in the process managed to push Toni face first into the snow. All he could hear was a low growling as Toni swore madly and made very rude gestures at Harry from the floor.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Harry was sat in 'Le Telemark' at the top of the ski lift. He had gotten off half an hour previously – yes he was still up there.

After he had looked down at the slope that his friends and Snape had been expecting him to go down, he had refused flat out. A few minutes after that, he had slowly made his way down a few metres and then refused to move due to the gradient of the slope. At that point, Toni had lost it and screamed at him to 'go find his balls'. She had then suggested that for the first section of the morning, Harry sat in the cafe while they alternately kept him company, and the other two would ski down to the bottom, come back up again, another person would stay with Harry while the other two skied down etc...

Harry looked at Hermione's braces which she was flashing at him wildly from across the table.

"So," said Hermione who was obviously, despite her smile, searching wildly for a conversation topic.

"What are you doing in France?" Harry finished for her, before she asked him the same question...

"GAP year with Toni, we are staying here for the winter, me for my French, her for that and skiing. I must say it is really lucky that ESF pay well, or else I don't think we would have enough to go to Africa for the summer. Anyway what are you doing in France? Just a holiday?"

"Yep,"

"Where do you get the money? I mean you can't be much older than Toni and I, yet you manage to come out here for a holiday,"

"My parents left me a lot of money, and they died recently. I'm just trying to get over it," Well, it wasn't exactly a lie...

"Oh, I'm so sorry," gasped Hermione, "I won't mention it again,"

Bingo! Thought Harry.

They spent the next half hour or so in pleasant light conversation about the terrors of speed skiing.

OoOoOoOoOoO

They had just finished their second hot chocolate when Hermione felt hands grasp her shoulders and a voice with hot breath whisper in her ear, "My turn," She turned to see Severus Snape leaning over her. She blushed quickly, jumped up, waved a quick goodbye to Harry and scuttled off.

Harry scowled at Snape.

"What put you in such a good mood." Harry resented Snape being in a good mood, it was unnatural which made it unnerving.

"On the contrary, Potter, I am in a very bad mood," Snape scowled, his face settling back into the expression Harry knew so well, "I am being forced to spend the next hour or so with you," at this point, Snape's face gained, what Harry thought, was a slightly greenish tinge, "And on the way up here, on the chair lift, Toni was rubbing it in that I am significantly older than her, and apparently my age is the reason I lost the race down the mountain,"

Snape...race? Harry was beginning to feel as if a heart attack was coming on...

"How old are you, si...Snape?" Harry caught himself before he could call his old professor 'sir', but he didn't before he had asked the man's age.

"You impertinent little sod," The conversation stopped there and they fell into an awkward silence for the next half an hour. Well, to Harry it was awkward, to Snape it was normal, after all he had spent most of his life in silence. Why stop now?

_**There, much fun, and a damn short chapter. I am sure you will live – I have exams so I am not sure when the next one will be up, but hang in there, it shouldn't be too long.**_

_**Remember, reviews distract me from revision, so the more reviews the faster the update. (I have no shame when it comes to blackmail)**_


	6. Voldermort?

_**This chapter is short and sweet, well not so sweet but... just read the damn thing... (and review it too).**_

Harry sat there pondering and staring into the depths of his hot chocolate as if it would tell him what was going on.

Harry had hidden Snape's wand so even if Snape did get cold feet he couldn't run. He wouldn't get anywhere with out his wand.

But the man was still as puzzling as the Hogwarts staircases, possibly more so, but the main difference between Snape and the staircases was the stairs didn't go around killing people and then claim they didn't do it.

Harry then reminded himself that Snape hadn't said he didn't do it, only that he wasn't an ass hole.

Harry didn't have a lot of confidence in this statement.

He was convinced the man was guilty. He knew Snape was holding him out on a limb, there had been nothing special happening that night, Snape had killed Dumbledore and then wimped out of helping Voldermort too. He had then come here and hidden, saved his own neck and left Harry and the rest of Hogwarts to clean up after him. There was no twist on the plot – Harry knew it.

Harry sipped his hot chocolate which was now cold. He frowned at it and set it down.

It had been an hour and Toni and Hermione still weren't back.

Harry went back to convincing himself there was nothing else he needed to know – Snape was trouble – damn his forgiving Gryffindor side for trying to convince him Snape was half human, damn, damn, damn.

Harry then noticed that it felt like a wand was prodding the side of is head. Harry looked around, there was nothing there. The prodding continued on the other side of his head. He looked around, nothing.

He looked at Snape; it was all his fault, Harry decided. His suspicions only grew when he saw Snape was smirking.

"Stop prodding me."

"Prodding?" asked Snape, all innocently.

"Yes, you were prodding the side of my head,"

"From over here Potter? I am intrigued, what wild story have you come up with this time?"

"I know you can Legilimens without a wand,"

"Legilimens?" asked a voice behind Harry.

Damn, thought Harry, not again.

Toni plonked herself down next to Harry, picked up Snape's shot and downed it for him. She was looking at Harry so did not notice the death glare that she would have received had she been looking at Snape. If looks could kill Toni would be long gone, even if she wasn't looking.

Toni poked Harry again and raised her eyebrows as a motion to carry on.

Harry thought back to the previous conversation with Snape, was there an answer to her question that wouldn't make him look like a loony?

"It's a very long type of stick," Harry said, brain still whirring, "Snape used to use it at school to annoy us if we weren't doing work,"

"I thought you said something about a wand? "

"Wand, no!" Harry said jovially, prolonging his laugh so he wouldn't have to answer, "Hand, I said Hand."

Toni raised her eyebrows as if to say 'You _are_ weird' but didn't press the matter.

"What time is it Harry?" she asked, swiftly moving out of shark infested water.

"About 12..."

"That's when your lesson starts right?"

"SHIT!," Harry shouted jumping up and pulling on his hat as the surrounding French people shot him looks muttering something that sounded like, "Bah, les jeunes!".

"No need to worry," smiled Toni.

"What are you going to do, fricking apparate me down?!"

"Apparate?"

"Teleport, I said teleport!" screamed Harry almost hysterically.

"No, you are weird." She continued, "I'M your instructor," she said, like it had been the most obvious thing in the world, clapping him over the back of the head.

Harry swore he could feel a lump there now.

"Well?" prompted Toni.

I don't know if I will survive, thought Harry. What if she tries to interrogate me about my sexuality? I don't think I can handle that again.

"That's great!" smiled Harry, trying not to glower at Snape who was behind Toni, with what Harry supposed was an approximation of a grin on his face.

"See you back at the apartment," Snape grinned.

"Where you going, Snape?" Harry snarled,

"Well, I was going to go skiing with Hermione, but if you need me to carry you down Potter then…"

"Fine, just go," Harry said, bowing his head and pointing at the door. He had seen the sarcastic comment coming so he had cut Snape off.

"How long is the lesson?" Harry asked Toni,

"Two hours,"

"Snape you forgot something," Harry shouted at Snape who was just about to stride out the door.

"I think I know what's mine and yours Potter, my belongs don't..."

Harry cut across him again,

"No... this," Harry picked up his stuff, strode to Snape and flung his arms about the taller man's neck.

Snape had never been stunned in his life; he thought it was an unusual experience.

Being...hugged...by Potter was down right weird, only when Snape felt the tip of Harry's wand at his neck did he realise what was going on.

"Very sneaky Potter, who taught you that spell?"

"Was that a compliment Snape?"

"Verging on one,"

Snape brought his hands up to Harry's head on the pretext of resting his hand there and pressed his thumb to Harry's scar.

A searing pain rushed through Harry causing him to gasp.

"Enjoying this a bit too much Potter?"

"You asshole, I killed Voldermort, why the hell is my scar still..."

Harry's wand vibrated, telling Harry the spell he had been casting was complete.

Snape pressed his thumb down on Harry's scar – hard.

Harry let out a stiffened moan.

He heard someone clear their throat and turned to see the owner of Le Telemark staring down at them, tapping her foot.

Snape pushed Harry away and swept out of the door.

"Done having an orgasm Harry?" Toni asked, dragging him out of the bar by his collar.

Harry didn't answer, but looked around for Snape. He had gone. Harry noticed that Snape had an annoying habit of doing that when the heat turned up.

No, Harry thought, was it Snape? After he had made his scar hurt so much? Only Voldermort could do that...

Harry's mind was not on the lesson, but circling around Snape, Voldermort and a shed load of Polly Juice Potion.

* * *

Harry made his way back to A3 alone, as after his lesson Toni had gone down to the bar declaring 'after that I need a very stiff drink'.

He hoped the spell he had cast on Snape worked- he hadn't used it before.

It caused the recipient of the spell to (after a time chosen by the caster) forget everything except the one thing the caster choose for them. In this case Snape would have now forgotten everything except a desire to sit outside A3 until Harry returned. The most annoying thing about the spell was it had to be done by holding the tip of one's wand to the start of the spinal cord (or as close as you could get) and you had to hold your wand there for the amount of minutes you want to delay the spell in hours. Like Harry had had to hold his wand against the bottom of Snape's hair line for two minutes to delay the spell for two hours. Normally he would have done it from the back, standing as far away as possible, but that would have looked rather odd to the Muggles. So Harry had had to... this brought Harry back to pondering about his scar.

He came up the steps down which he had fallen on is first day and around the corner.

He saw Snape sitting outside Harry's door staring at a corner and looking thoroughly confused.

Harry's boots clacked and Snape looked at him. Realization crept over his face like a rising sun seeps a town in the early morning.

Snape's face quickly changed from realisation back to his 'especially pissed off' face Harry had grown so used to at school.

"Couldn't you choose something like a tracking spell Potter? Imbecile," Snape snarled.

"Because if I had used a tracking spell I would have had to find you myself, and why would I do that when I could have just done this? Imbecile."

Snape was just about to retort when Harry cried 'Silencio.' Snape ranted at him but completely silently. Snape waved his finger at Harry threateningly, and begun to turn purple in the face with the effort of making a sound.

Harry made sure there were no Muggles and levitated Snape into the apartment, causing Snape to turn a more abnormal colour.

Harry felt hungry so he took out a pan, a carton of soup and turned on the stove.

He looked up at Snape who was hovering on the ceiling. Maybe he would calm down if he was allowed to shout for a bit.

Harry took off the silencing spell, "and another thing you insolent brat..." Harry flicked his wand, on second thought he wasn't in the mood for being insulted.

He watched Snape change shade and then levitated him into the cupboard there had previously been no use for. He let Snape down but didn't lift the silencing spell then he locked the cupboard. He would give him some quiet time to get his Slytherin mask back on.

Harry had his first quiet time for a few days, Hermione had been right, it was good for him to go on holiday and forget his parents, Cedric, Stan...

The soup began to bubble and Harry got up to turn off the stove, set the table and put out bread and butter.

The only time he had laid the table away from the Dursley's.

It felt good, it felt natural, him and Snape...

He slapped himself; he did NOT just think that.

It felt natural, just him by himself...no-one to hurt him.

His stomach rumbled. he poured the soup into two bowls and set them down.

He made his way over to the cupboard and opened the door; he looked into Snape's black clad chest which was immediately in front of him. He looked up to see his ex-potions master glowering down at him.

Harry smiled innocently, "I made tea sir."

Snape stalked past Harry. Harry was shocked- he had expected a snarky comment, or at least a sneer.

Snape sat at the table and stared at Harry with eyes of ice.

Harry also sat and they began to eat, Snape upright elegantly sipping his soup, not even slurping. Harry bent lapping his up like a dehydrated dog.

"Snape?" Harry began. Snape raised an eyebrow; Harry then remembered that he still had the silencing spell on him, for just a second there Harry had thought Snape had been becoming slightly more unpredictable with his comments.

"Forgetful twat," Snape spat.

"Shut up, you bastard," Harry spat even more forcefully, "Now you won't get out of it, where were you on the night Dumbledore died?"

_Hey hope you like it, you know the drill, review blah please blah blah or else the next chapter will take years blah blah blah._

_I am very disappointed with you guys on the review front – I thought Snarry fans could do better than 4!_

_Thanks to Hermione for editing again! She also translated up there! The French means along the lines of 'kids these days'. _


	7. The Cursed Scar

_**Sorry! I know it took a while, but first I had exams, and then there was a compulsory camping trip, for which we were given broken tents so we got no sleep and it took me a couple of days to recover from that ::wipes sweat from forehead::. And then it was the usual end of term pandemonium, the fight for boxes to take things home in, the crazy running around to check if you HAVE picked up all your stuff. And on top of all of that I get home to discover my internet has broken, so I am unable to send anything to my editor – let alone post::Collapses from stress:: Anyway its not specially long or anything, so another apology for that!**_

_**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't earn money from this, even more sadly I don't even own it! (except for the plot and a few bits and pieces) I don't even own the title of this chapter, yes, i did steal that too.**_

Snape raised a slim eyebrow, and viciously ripped off a piece of bread with his teeth.

Harry sensed he should leave that question for later when the soup wasn't hot, therefore decreasing chances of third degree burns if Snape threw it at him.

"Fine, I have suspicions about you, what was with that thing you did in the cafe up there?"

"I did many things in the cafe, Potter, please elaborate."

Trust Snape to try and get out of it by degrading me, thought Harry.

"With my scar and... you...scar...you pushed it and..."

"Come on Potter – think! Some of what Dumbledore said must have rubbed off on you!"

Harry stared at him blankly like he was raving mad.

Snape sighed, "What was Dumbledore always on about?"

"Sherbet Lemons?" Harry asked timidly.

Snape looked in the verge of suicide, in a very calm collected Slytherin way...

"No Potter- LOVE!"

"What has that got to do with anything?" Harry demanded, "I am sick of hearing about love, and in the end it didn't even help!"

"But it did Potter!"

"What the hell! Snape you weren't even there you cow..." Harry was just about to call Snape a coward, but then remembered what had happened last time he had done that, and decided against it. (Editor: See Book 6 for a reminder)

"What was that Potter?" Snape asked, livid.

"Cow, I called you a cow."

Snape raised his eyebrows in disbelief but didn't say anything else.

"So did love do anything I didn't notice?" Harry asked unable to contain his curiosity.

"Yes." Snape replied shortly. When he didn't say anymore Harry persisted.

"Care to tell me?"

"Work it out yourself Potter. Surely even your brain has managed it by now," spat Snape, sounding like a snake that has been stepped on. That was generally regarded as the tone that said 'Don't push it', but Harry couldn't help it. Curiosity got the better of him, so he asked again, despite the fact it injured his pride and the soup was still boiling slightly in the bowls.

"I don't have your Slytherin mind, professor; please spell it out for me."

Snape's wicked grin couldn't have been more evident, "Beg me."

"What?"

"You heard Potter, the golden boy has to beg a Death Eater for something he wants."

"I won't beg, I'll curse you first."

"What are you going to do Potter? Kill me? Your conscience would never allow it, and if you killed me you will ever know what I have to say."

Harry was tempted to tell him what odd kicks he got, but then he remembered he wanted something. Odd as he might be, he sure could pull the right strings.

"Please sir, I beg you. Tell me what you know," Harry said in a flat voice.

"I'm not convinced." drawled Snape.

_10 minutes later_

Harry brushed his lips against the hem of Snape's trousers. They smelt of soap and fresh snow. "Please," he begged weakly.

The smirk clearer than the sun on Snape's face as Harry stood up, he finally agreed.

"First I have to assure you Potter, I am not the Dark Lord, as I know that crossed your mind..."

"Then how...?"

"Shut up or I might change my mind," snarled Snape, sipping his soup. (Editor: yet another read aloud challenge for those with a lisp)

Harry didn't say another word; he hadn't kissed Snape's trousers for nothing.

"How many people do you hate, Potter?"

"Voldemort...but he's dea..."'

"Carry on."

Harry took a deep breath, "Scrimgeour, Bellatrix, Umbridge... but they're dead. What can they do?"

"Just carry on Potter."

"Lucius and you."

"That it?"

Harry wildly searched his mind and couldn't come up with another name. "Yep that's it."

"Squid, Potter! I knew you were good but even I thought you hated more people than that!"

Harry opened his mouth to tell Snape that because he wasn't a snarky bastard people were generally nice to him, giving him no reason to hate people, but Snape cut across him.

"Regardless, what did Voldemort do to you many times?"

"Try to kill me?"

"Apart from that."

"Killed my parents, his death eaters, pushed Sirius into limbo, made my life hell, gave me a scar that makes me look like a stupid twat, a fair few injuries..."

"Back track to the scar, Potter."

"What does that have to do with it? It just makes me look like an idiot."

"Apart from that Potter, it is cursed! The Dark Lord gave it to you and you hate him, with every fibre of your being." Snape bent over the table, brushed a few strands of Harry's hair out the way and tapped the side of his head, "Use this, for once in your life."

"Voldemort made my scar hurt, not because it was connected to him, but because I had a strong hate for him?"

"You haven't quite hit the nail on the head Potter," sighed Snape, exasperated, "Voldemort was connected to the scar and the hate you felt was only part of that connection. But Voldemort dying wasn't the end of the curse, far from. You still have it, you were connected by your bond with Voldemort and that is what gave you insights, but the hate is what fuelled the pain in your scar. And if you didn't have the ability to love, your scar would hurt all the time, very badly. You would die from the agony."

"So you make my scar hurt because I don't like you. That really does explain why Umbridge made my scar hurt... Dumbledore never thought to tell me that..."

"He didn't tell you many things Potter, you were never the best Occlumens, making you a weakness as well as a strength. We couldn't divulge anything that important to you, not with your visions and your inability to _think_." at this point Snape leaned over the table again to poke Harry's head earning a small stab of pain, "You could have given anything away."

"So you kept me in the dark... because I had visions, not because I was stupid, but because I had visions!" A huge bubble of happiness welled in Harry's chest and he was shocked to find it was because Snape didn't think he was stupid.

"I was always convinced it was you stupidity that was part of the reason," needless to say, the bubble deflated fast, "but Dumbledore always insisted it was the visions."

Harry scowled, "Why do you always talk to me as if I were something particularly nasty you scraped off the bottom of your shoe?"

"I don't generally talk to things I scrap off the bottom of my shoe, Potter,"

"You know what? I'm sick of yo...

"It really took this long?"

Harry was becoming homicidal. He glared at Snape as the man elegantly sipped his soup, pink tongue poking out to lick a splash from the corner of his mouth.

Harry stood up and stormed in to his room, he snatched up pen and paper and stormed back out again.

He sat on the sofa and scribbled a letter to Hermione.

_Dear Herm,_

_I know you said not to try and contact you, but if I don't I'm afraid I may slit my own wrists._

_I have found Snape; he was sneaking about the Muggle ski resort you sent me to._

_Anyway he is here and driving me up the wall, so I need you to send some form of back up and information. If you don't I will come and find you danger or n. I am worried Hermione, please send me some news._

_Harry._

"Let me guess," sneered Snape, "You wrote to one of your little bum chums, requesting some form of escape route?"

"Something like that," Harry replied curtly, rolling up the letter.

He wanted to question Snape more but he was sick of being insulted and he was really tired. He had had a long day.

"What happened in the last battle?" Harry looked up to see Snape staring intently at him from the sink.

"We fought, we won," Harry replied shortly, sticking out his left arm. In the middle of the war there had always been a need for more owls than you could take around with you, so Kingsly Shacklebolt had devised a means of getting more. It was like the Night bus, you stuck out the respective arm and in this case, for any Order member an owl would fly to your assistance immediately.

"I figured that out for myself Potter, if you had lost you would be dead, but, sadly, you are alive and well standing right before me."

"So you wanted Voldemort to win then?"

"No, slim as the chances were, I was hoping both you and the Dark Lord would die. Anyway that is beside the point, what happened?"

Harry sighed at Snape's jibe but other than that ignored it, "It was at Godric's Hollow. I had just found the last Horcrux, Rowena Ravenclaw's voice, encased in a box."

"I expect it was hard to destroy something so precious. Her voice you say, amazing." said Snape, with no trace of a sneer.

"Yes, it was quite. I heard it just before I destroyed it, she was singing about something or someone she had lost. It was enchanting, I wanted to hear the whole thing but I knew it was only a matter of time before Voldemort got there, so I destroyed it and turned around and Voldemort was just emerging from the woods, wand raised. Green light shot past me and I sent up red sparks to call for the other order members and Voldemort touched his left forearm with his wand and sent up The Dark Mark, so presumably he thought he would have no problem killing me." An owl flapped through the window and landed in front of Harry.

"Take this to the order, and don't leave without a reply," Harry told the owl, which immediately flapped out of the window.

"So the whole Order arrived, and the Death Eaters too, we all silently assembled, the quiet before a rather violent storm. The silence was deafening."

"Evidently dumbing as well," Snape drawled.

Harry ignored him and carried on, "Then Voldemort said 'So Potter, you found one of my Horcruxes? I would be impressed were it not for the fact that Rowena's voice is one of 7! But now I am going to kill you here so you will never get the others.' And then I realised that Voldemort didn't know that I had already destroyed the rest of his soul, but I couldn't think any more because the battle had started, everyone was fighting and sending hexes. I watched Voldemort through the battle." Harry sat on the sofa Snape with him still intently staring at him, Harry stared back into his deep eyes and continued.

"I sprinted at him sending stunning curses at him. I didn't send a killing curse at that point just in case I hit any of the order members, but Voldemort didn't seem to mind if he caught a Death Eater with a curse so he was sending green light at me all the time, I saw him hit Wormtail, Crabbe senior and Molly. Then one of my curses hit him and he was so busy sending off killing curses he didn't see it. He was blown off his feet and into the wood behind, but it didn't occur to me at the time that the blast I had shot would have only been enough to knock him down, so now I realise he wanted me to follow him into the wood," Harry gulped and his eyes watered, going into the wood had been his biggest mistake ever.

"What happened in there Potter?" Snape asked impatiently, bringing Harry out of his reverie.

"I...killed," Harry choked slightly.

"Of course you killed him, Potter, that was the point," said Snape, exasperated.

"No...I," he hated doing it, especially in front of Snape, but he couldn't hold it back. A tear slid down his cheek and came to rest at the corner of his mouth, then more tears began to spill. Harry looked away ashamed.

Snape grabbed his shoulders and turned Harry back to face him, "Tell me Potter."

Harry hung his head and shook it from side to side, more tears erupting from his eyes. Snape shook his already trembling shoulders.

"Tell me Potter," whispered Snape, but, to Harry's surprise, it wasn't a harsh whisper. This caused, if possible more tears to spring forth.

Snape took Harry's chin and lifted his head up to face him. He used his other hand to brush Harry's tears away, his index and middle finger stroking his cheeks, his thumb brushing the corner of his mouth where his tears had come to rest.

When Harry still didn't say anything Snape withdrew his hand.

"Another time then, but now bed, I don't wish to be a zombie for skiing tomorrow."

_**Anyway I should up-date soon, but the more reviews I get the faster I update::Grins:: I notice that most of the people who have me on favourite/alert lists don't actually review me. Thanks for the compliment of being favourite, but please let me know my best areas and where I can improve. :D**_

_**Thanks again to Hermione for editing:Kisses: (Editor: Eugh:Wipes face:)**_


	8. MOSH!

_**Sorry, I don't have a clue if this took a long time because I have completely lost track of it (time I mean). Anyway short update. I was quite fond of this chapter, I don't know, some of my fave lines are in here. Anyway I don't own Harry or Snape, but all the rest belongs to me (although the ownership of my editor is questionable).**_

"Potter, get down here!"

"No," whimpered Harry, peeking through his glove clad fingers at the slope before him. He saw various expanses of rock protruding from beneath the snow, and he could swear that was a dead body down near the bottom.

"It isn't very hard, it is only a red, and an easy one at that. Come on Potter, before I lose my patience."

"I thought you already had."

"No, I calmed down, but it appears that it was only momentarily. Now come down!"

Harry decided that he didn't have much choice so he might as well get it over and done with.

He tried to do what Toni had taught him, he really did.

"Potter! What the HELL are you DOING?! TURN, TURN YOU FOOL!"

Harry screamed as his skis ran away with him.

He suddenly felt his feet leave the ground.

This is it, thought Harry. I'm dead. I've passed on.

He felt something cold on his face and opened his eyes. He could see the ground about three feet below him.

He looked around. He was suspended from a tree.

"Snape? Snape?! SNAPE?!"

"I know you are stupid Potter, but how the hell did you get stuck in a tree like that?" Harry turned his head slightly to the left and saw Snape gliding over.

"I don't know!" wailed Harry, "Get me down – Please! What are you doing?"

Snape had sat down up the slope and was now looking at Harry.

"What do you want me to do, Potter?"

"Get me down!"

"How?"

"Magic, you idiot!"

"Why would I want to do that, when there are two nice young women standing here?"

"Hello, Harry!"

"Watcha Harry. How did you get in that tree?"

"That's exactly what I want to know," Harry answered Toni.

"I did that once, all you have to do is roll out the tree. You get winded for a few minutes but that's all! No need to worry!" said Toni jovially.

"I won't," said Harry sarcastically.

"That's the spirit!" said Toni, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the sarcasm.

"Anyway," interrupted Hermione, "Toni is dragging me out to the pub tonight and we were wondering if you wanted to come. We were going to ask tonight but Toni saw you on the ski lift and we were going to come down here anyway, so we were thinking that, well, since..."

"There's a pub round here?" Harry cut across before Hermione went into a full on rant.

"Yes, it used to be called Willie's Bar, but they changed it to Maggie's."

"Harry, as you said it would be cool to have magic to get you out of that tree, but sadly there is no such thing so please come down so we can carry on with our day," Toni called up.

"God, that would be awesome!" exclaimed Hermione. "You could go round magicing people; you could go round killing people if you wanted to! But I suppose you would need to say something... Those bullies' would never annoy us again Toni!" Hermione picked up a stick and twirled it around, "Watch out Sophie and Kitty or Toni and I will Abrakadabra you!"

Harry raised his eyebrows and wondered if this girl had ever actually left primary school.

Hermione was now jumping about as best she could on skis and prodding Snape with the stick saying "Watch out Severus or I will Abrakadabra you too!"

Snape was wincing violently and trying to bat her away with a ski pole borrowed from Toni.

After a few minutes of Snape losing, Toni snatched up her other ski pole and pointed it at Snape's chest with a shout of 'Havart you!'

Toni then proceeded to have a sword (or pole) fight with the ex-professor while Hermione threw snowballs at him shrieking 'Abrakadabra!'

Harry was shocked at this show of Snape acting like a child and actually enjoying himself.

Only when Hermione began to shovel snow down Snape's back to try and make him dance (and succeeding quite well) did Harry laugh so hard he fell out of the tree.

Completely winded he staggered to his feet to see Snape trying to hop away only one foot attached to the snowboard and Toni and Hermione chasing after him brandishing stick and ski pole and pelting him with snowballs as he fell in his haste to run as far away as possible.

Harry rolled his own snowball and aimed at Toni, hitting her on the bum and knocking her forwards into Hermione making them both collapse in a heap.

Giggling, they both picked themselves up and made their own snowballs again. Harry tried to run but he turned and they both hit him one after the other making him stagger.

Harry hid behind a nearby tree, kicking his skis off as he fled. He bent and rolled up a snowball, but when he straightened up he couldn't hear a thing, there was complete silence. He stood stock still.

"MOSH!" he heard a loud scream from Toni and he saw from either side of his tree Hermione and Toni dive around and pelt him with two snowballs each. While they were incapacitated by their laughing fit in the snow Harry ran over to the other side of the slope.

"Do you have a clue what 'Mosh' means?" Harry asked Snape, panting as he reached him on the other side of the slope.

"From what I can gather it is some kind of war cry which means 'Go'."

"Are you always this grim?" Harry asked Snape.

"I can be very...entertaining when I choose to be," said Snape, raising his eyebrows.

Harry was just about to reply when Snape interrupted him.

"Speaking of entertaining, MOSH!"

Harry turned to see Toni and Hermione advancing armed with as many snowballs as they could carry.

He bent quickly and compiled his own and shot it at the oncoming feminine threat.

He missed by a mile.

"Great shot, Potter," sneered Snape.

"Let's see you do better," Harry replied savagely.

Snape aimed and fired, faster than Harry could blink, hitting Toni square in the face.

"They were closer," Harry complained.

"No, they weren't. They have barely moved; they are carrying too many snowballs to run properly."

"How did you get so good then?" Harry challenged.

"Throwing potion bottles at students over the years has had its uses," Snape grinned manically.

Harry huffed and glared at Snape.

Snape stepped in front of Harry and stared down at him.

"You are too good hearted for a real death-stare Potter."

"I am not," Harry persisted.

"Oh yes you - FUCK!"

Snape arched his back as if having his own personal orgasm.

Harry looked around Snape to see Toni standing behind him, she had a triumphant grin on her face, as she had just shoved a snowball down the back of Snape's shirt.

Said Snape was currently hopping about trying to get the snowball out of his back.

"Someone help me!" he pleaded.

Toni took no mercy upon him. He turned to Hermione who wasn't much help either as she was rolling on the slope laughing.

Snape had no choice he turned to Harry.

"Fine," said Harry, despite the fact he had not been asked, "Turn."

Snape complied and Harry reached for the bottom of the other man's shirt.

Snape shivered as Harry's fingertips brushed his lower back brushing the remains of the snowball from his skin.

Harry saw Toni raise her eyebrows at Hermione who shook her head back and mouthed something like 'stop or else...' There was more but Harry couldn't figure it out.

Snape pulled his shirt down and huffed, he had obviously not noticed the exchange.

"Well, I'm starved and it's almost lunchtime. Care to luncheon with me before our lesson Harry?" Toni smiled and performed a mock bow. "And these two should come too," she added.

"Sounds cool, where's good to eat around here?"

* * *

"Do they have anything except cheese and ham or ham and cheese?"

"Salad?" Toni replied.

Harry once again scrutinized the menu.

"Vould yu like tu ordur?"

"Oui s'il vous plait," Hermione answered, "Je voudrais la salade du poulet."

She looked at Toni who continued, "Un margarita pizza s'il vous plait."

Toni looked at Snape who carried on, "Je voudrais le jambon avec des légumes s'il vous plait."

Snape turned his face to Harry who promptly pointed at his choice on the menu.

The waitress swept away and silence fell over the group.

"So Severus, where are you staying?" asked Toni.

Harry thought that was a fair question, where HAD Snape been staying until Harry had turned up and ruined his holiday? He should ask him later.

"I'm staying with Potter."

Harry almost did a double take he hadn't expected Snape to admit something so 'humiliating' so easily.

"Where were you staying before?"

"Hotel."

Then again, Harry was quite touched that Snape didn't mind admitting he was staying with him.

He grinned inanely at Snape.

"What the hell are you smirking at, Potter?"

Harry quickly looked away and wondered if Snape was going out of his way to keep his feelings at arm's length.

The waitress came bustling back over before Toni could make an embarrassing comment.

"I am soury, dis table iz reserved, but we 'av one table ovur zer if you like."

"Why can't they sit on the other table?" Harry asked Toni.

"They like the window seat and the table we are heading for is significantly smaller and they like to spread out. I know how fussy they are, I used to teach them," said Toni, gesturing at a red faced French family of four.

The waitress weaved between the tables with ease while her charges tried to follow her, trying not to kick anyone too hard with their ski boots.

They arrived at the table which was squeezed in between two wooden walls which were only just far enough apart to fit said table and a couple of mini stools just far enough from the table for a person to fit.

"This is going to be fun," said Toni sarcastically, raising her eyebrows.

"Your fuud vill nut be long," said the waitress and scuttled away.

Toni and Hermione slid into seats next to each other. Harry was then first to get in on the other side, followed swiftly by Snape.

Harry felt Snape's leg pressing against his own under the table and hitched his breath as he saw the other man's hand resting on the knee that was pressing against Harry's own. The fingers just brushing his trousers.

Harry blushed manically and tried to keep his breathing under control.

Then he wondered what the hell he was doing, why did he need to control is breathing? It's not like he looked at Snape in that way anyway.

Snape took his hand away from his own knee and for a brief moment Harry could feel Snape's hand on his knee, and soon he was having to control something else as well as his breathing.

Damn this tightly packed space, thought Harry, and what is all this about?... I know what it is; I haven't been laid in a while. It is sexual thirst. _(Editor: Desperation, perhaps?)_

Harry nodded his head decisively, but didn't see the mad girl across from him notice his nod and his slight shudder when Snape's shoulder touched his own when their meals arrived.

_**Manic laugh I am evil, I truly am. Cookies to those who review, Snarry points to those who can figure out which room mate saw Harry's shudder. XD**_

_**I think I was quite nice to Harry in this chapter, I generally make a habit of torturing him but I was very happy while writing this chapter. I was on my own in the house drinking hot chocolate and eating a double chocolate chip muffin and a chocolate spread sandwich grins inanely Do you think I should be nice to him more often? **_

_**Anyway still not that pleased with reviews, I know you can do better!**_

_**And big hugs and kisses to the real Hermione!**_

_**(Editor: Is that me or Granger?) I said the real one dear.**_


	9. In too deep

_**Harry and Snape don't belong to me, the ownership of my editor is questionable.**_

_**(Editor: Nonexistent?) **_

_**I know it is short, get over it.**_

_Italics are Harry's thoughts._

"You have to push forward in your boots."

"But then it feels like I'm going to fall!"

"Well, that would be an improvement on what you're doing at the moment," said Toni, cuffing Harry over the back of the head.

"Ow!" Harry whined, "Instructors aren't supposed to assault their students."

Toni sighed. "Shut up and let me explain. At the moment it feels as if you are going to fall if you lean forward, but your instincts are wrong and you will realise that after a few runs of doing it properly. After that it will be second nature and I might take you on a black run in the next two days if you're lucky."

Harry decided then and there that getting good at skiing was something he didn't want to do.

"Just watch," said Toni, she then proceeded to ski down the slope, over exaggerating leaning forward.

"It's easy for you," grumbled Harry.

"Well, make it easy for you too then," called Toni from the bottom of the slope.

_Okay Harry, you can do this, just go through the motions._

Harry pushed off from the top and began gliding down.

_Lean right, but make sure to stay leaning forward Harry. And now lean right, and forward... Okay, left._

Harry screamed as he fell, tumbling down the slope a short way.

"You weren't leaning forward!" shouted a voice from below him.

_Fine, I'll show her I can do it._

Harry pushes himself to his feet and begun again.

_Left,_

_Right,_

_Left,_

_But never stop leaning forward,_

_Right,_

_Left._

Harry came to a shaky slightly out of control stop beside Toni.

"You're improving." If Harry hadn't been used to surprises from the war he would have dropped dead from shock. She had complimented him?

He had known Snape dish out more compliments in class than her.

"Right, we'll do that slope again, and work on something else," said Toni as she beckoned for Harry to follow her onto the ski lift.

As they slid into place to sit down Toni lent over and kissed the lift attendant.

"Is there any man you can't twist around your finger?" asked Harry.

"There have been a few," replied Toni.

"How..." Harry was about to ask how many she was currently running circles around when Toni cut across him.

"Are you good with men, Harry?"

Harry's mouth fell open slightly at the bluntness of the question.

"Not really," he replied, a pink tinge creeping along his cheeks.

"But you want someone don't you."

"No, I..." Harry was about to deny the fact he wanted a man in as many words as he could think of when he was interrupted again.

"You don't need to deny it Harry."

"But I honestly don'..."

"Harry, don't even bother. I saw you shudder when Severus touched you earlier, and then straight after you ran to the bathroom. Please don't tell me you thought you were subtle." Harry stared at her, mouth agape.

"Has a man ever liked you?" Toni asked, leaning over.

"Um... I don't know, I've always been a bit busy...for… um...that."

"Men have been attracted to you."

"How the hell do you know?!"

"Well, in the restaurant we just went in there were two guys checking you out."

"You are weird."

"No, just observant. Now do you want Severus to fall in love with you or not?"

"NO I DON'T, I HATE SNAPE!"

"Whatever you say," muttered Toni just loud enough for him to hear.

Harry was just about to retort when she continued, "Okay, whatever you say. We will forget about Snape, and we will go back to the primary subject: We need to get you laid."

"When was this decided?"

He was ignored by Toni who held out her hands.

"What?"

"Give me your glasses,"

Harry warily handed them to her.

From what he could see through the blur , Toni was examining the glasses. Then he saw her hands jerk and heard a snap.

"You just broke my glasses!" Harry screamed.

"Oh shut up, you great pink pansy, it's no biggie,"

"No biggie?! How am I supposed to see? Let alone get down the mountain in one piece?"

"Easily, wait a sec." Harry heard Toni rummaging around in her ski suit, "Here we go... now open your eyes as wide as you can and if you blink I'll push you off the chair lift."

"Okay," Harry obeyed timidly.

He felt something probing his eyes and it took him all the self control he had not to blink.

When he opened his eyes he could see again.

"What did you do?"

"Contacts."

"You carry contacts with you?"

"I find skiing with my clients glasses being broken is a common occurrence."

"You break the rest of your pupil's glasses?"

"No, they fell. The fall may have been slightly set up," she grinned manically, "but a fall none the less,"

"How do you know the type of lenses I need?"

"I don't, I just picked out the first ones I found, got a variety in here, just happens those are okay for you."

"Why did you break them anyway?" asked Harry.

"They were really ugly glasses."

"Thanks."

"Do you like them by the way?" she said, holding up a pocket mirror.

"Jesus, what else you got in there?" asked Harry as he took a look in the mirror, "You gave me purple contacts?!"

"I thought they looked cool,"

"Can I have another pair?"

"No, these things cost. Look the top!"

"Please?"

"No, lift the bar. They look a lot better than those crap old glasses. Please tell me you honestly didn't think you were going to get laid wearing a spectacular disaster like those?"

"But..."

"Anyway this is the last run, so after this we will go in. You're coming to the pub tonight?"

"Yes but..."

"Come round before hand, I'm going to play dress up."

"What?"

"I will hear nothing more on this matter. Now push forward."

* * *

"Take your time Potter, I've been sitting here for ages."

"It's not my fault the spell that makes you come back only works in hours, now stop fussing."

Snape 'harrumphed' and snatched the key from Harry and swept into the apartment.

Harry removed his boots them followed Snape.

"Potter, can I have my wand back?"

"No, Squid knows what you'll do!"

"I just want to Transfigure a bed for myself, that sofa is giving me neck cramp."

"You say it like you think I can't do something like Transfigure a bed."

"That's because I don't think you can, Potter."

"Shut up Snape, no way are you getting a bed now."

"Fine Potter, I'll take yours," and with that he swept into Harry's room.

"Come back you asshole!" Harry ran in after him, "Get off my bed!"

"No, not until I get my own."

Snape sneered from his position, spread eagled on the bed.

"Get off," Harry insisted, grabbing Snape's foot and attempting to pull him from the bed.

"Release me, Potter," Snape commanded, not moving.

"Move and I will," Harry growled through his teeth.

"No, let loose my person this instant," commanded Snape.

When Harry once again refused to stop trying to pull Snape off, Snape began to kick violently. Harry began to lose his balance but still hung on grimly, and with one particularly violent kick he was launched off his feet completely and landed atop Snape.

"Sorry, I'll get you a bed," Harry said quickly, blushing as he tried to removed himself awkwardly from on top of Snape.

Snape held him there with is legs.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked slightly abashed.

"Do you have purple eyes, Potter?"

"Yes... Toni snapped my glasses, and gave me these,"

"Thank squid for that."

_Were my glasses really that bad?_

Harry struggled away and made his way to the living room, making a mental note never to get that close to Snape again, being near him felt really weird and it did something funny to Harry's innards. It must be that Snape was wearing a weird aftershave or something.

_**I don't know how often I will be able to up-date in the up-coming 3 weeks, I have a week mountain climbing (dangling off a cliff by my fingertips – wish me luck!) A week painting in a France (I'll be staying where I have set this fic, except there will be no snow this time of year.) and then a week sailing, if I haven't fallen off a cliff or choked on paint fumes by then. Anyway so if I don't up-date for a while don't worry! It just means you have an extra long chapter coming.**_

_**Okay I want to set a target: can we try and hit ten reviews for this chapter? I just want to see if this fic can do it.**_

_**Thanks again to Hermione!**_


	10. The torturing of Harry Potter

_**Hello. Quick, pretty short up-date. Hope you like it.**_

_**Disclaimer: Now I come to think about it the only things I don't own that appear in this chapter are Harry and Severus, so here you go guys, you found my secret- they ain't actually mine. Shock Horror.**_

"Wow, you actually came," said Toni as she opened the door.

Harry had a sudden impulse to run at Toni's oh so reassuring words. It was then he noticed she was holding scissors in one hand and a waxing strip in the other.

But before he could act on his impulse he was pulled in by the collar and Snape followed smirking, closing Harry's escape behind him.

"Would you like some tea, Severus?" said Hermione, appearing at the end of the corridor.

"Coffee would be fine," said Snape, squeezing his way down the small corridor as elegantly as possible, trying to avoid one of Harry's flying limbs as he attempted to escape Toni's head-lock.

"Harry! Stop struggling! I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yeah, right," said Harry, purple in the face and gasping for breath.

"It's just a make-over, come on." Toni let go of Harry, who promptly fell over and winded himself. Toni used Harry's incapacitation to her advantage by grabbing his ankles and dragging him into the bathroom.

Snape and Hermione were watching, Hermione with a far off look in her eyes (she had obviously seen this display many times before) and Snape trying and failing to hide has great amusement.

"Help!" screamed Harry, clutching onto the door frame and trying to pull himself out.

"Come on Harry, waxing doesn't hurt that much," Harry disappeared behind the doorframe and the door shut.

Hermione and Snape stared at the spot where Harry had vanished for a few moments, quite indifferent to the banging and the cries of 'Let me out!'

There was a sharp ping.

"Oh look, the kettle's boiled. Do you take your coffee black or white Severus?"

SsSsSsSsSsSs

The coffee table rattled slightly and there was a constant rumble from the bathroom. Snape and Hermione sat primly at opposite ends of the sofa, silent save the screams issuing from the bathroom.

"So…" said Hermione, groping around for something to say, "is there a Mrs. Snape?"

Snape laughed derisively, throwing back his head, his chest shaking.

Hermione was quite startled by his reaction. "I'll take that as a no..." she trailed off. That laugh had been something of a conversation stopper.

Hermione thought about the plan, and decided she had to do it.

"Would you even be into the Mrs. if you had one?" She mentally slapped herself; it had not been the best way to phrase her thoughts.

"What in Squid's name are you talking about girl?"

"I mean are you... Did you just blaspheme?"

Snape hadn't a clue what that was, having never taken Muggle Studies on religion. He was saved because Hermione had taken a deep breath and ploughed on.

"What I mean is, are you gay?" Now Snape could see why he had wanted to ask the question before she lost her nerve. Toni had obviously told her what had happened last time.

Severus didn't know why he had reacted that way last time. Probably because he had been in a sour mood, and the suggestion he was going out with Potter. It took Severus all the self-control he had not to spit his drink on the floor at the thought of the piercing green eyes. He had looked into them once here, and he had drowned, and he couldn't get out.

And that scared him.

"No, straight as a pencil," said Snape. He didn't want Toni dragging _him_ into a bathroom to primp and preen.

There was a small silence where they heard a snatch of conversation from the bathroom.

"You call yourself gay Harry?" inquired Toni. "What shampoo do you use?"

"No matter," she said, cutting across him. "Head, sink, now!"

Harry seemed to find his voice. "No!" they heard him protest though the wall.

There was a loud bang and a long gurgle followed.

"Do you have a girlfriend then?" continued Hermione.

"No." A smirk crossed Hermione's face at this. Snape shot her a calculating look, but couldn't figure out what she was thinking.

He made a mental note to watch out for future attacks on his sexuality.

"Can you teach me how to cook, Severus? I'm useless and the last time Toni tried she melted a whole baguette."

"What?" asked Snape.

"Cook. You said you used to teach Harry cooking, I was wondering if you could help me out,"

"Oh, not now," protested Snape.

"Come on, we have time." And Hermione dragged him over to a black contraption with white knobs.

"What is this?" asked Snape, prodding it with his finger.

"A stove," said Hermione, raising her eyebrows at Snape.

"No, I know it's a stove," said Snape, who had previously had no idea what it was, "I meant, it is an old design, positively ancient."

"It only came out last year."

"Yes, yes I know," said Snape, trying to climb out of the hole he had dug for himself. "I mean they have used a very old design, just modernised it a bit, very old design.

"Wow, who came up with this unique idea then?" asked Hermione.

"Merlin," mumbled Snape.

Hermione was just looking at him very oddly, when Toni burst out of the bathroom.

"Tada!" she yelled, flourishing her hands towards the door through which she had just appeared.

Harry stepped through the doorway.

"Have you been shagging him in there?" asked Severus, angry, although he wasn't sure why.

"No, but I gave his hair the just-got-laid look."

"He looks like a whore then," said Hermione, who had been looking impressed up until that statement. "Where did you get the clothes from?"

"The guy who stayed last night," said Toni, matter of factly.

"Who was that then?"

"How the hell should I know?" Hermione was about to retort when Toni cut across again, "and they look a damn sight nicer than that old crap he was wearing earlier."

Hermione opened her mouth, but then shut it and nodded fairly.

Harry was wearing black skinny jeans and blue Converses. A black belt with a silver buckle hung around his waist and the bottom of his tight t-shirt, through which you could see a few curves of Harry's body.

"Plain, but hot," said Toni.

"And what about that wax?" asked Hermione.

"Getting a bit too personal there," choked out Harry, causing Toni to laugh.

"Are you wearing make up Potter?" enquired Snape.

Harry did not answer, so Toni did for him.

"Looks good doesn't it?"

Snape ignored her, he was looking closer at Harry's eye make up and the eyes behind them.

He swept over to Harry and leaned so close to his face their noses were almost touching and they were staring into each others eyes. They did not notice Toni mouth at Hermione 'I told you so' and Hermione shake her head.

Snape saw that Harry had changed his contacts they were no longer purple, but spiralled. Black spirals coming out from his pupils and turning into twisted stripes with the emerald behind them.

From far away it made you want to get closer, from this close Severus was hypnotised.

Then Harry moved and the spell was broken.

Snape backed away and said, "Very original Potter."

"Well, you guys go down to the pub; we'll catch up after I've had a cup of coffee, I need one after that," said Toni.

"I think I'd better go with them," said Hermione, "They don't know where it is."

"I'm sure they can find it. I need to talk to you about that job at ESF."

"Your job?"

"No, the job you asked me to check out for you, the one you have always dreamed of having. Remember: the desk job."

Harry could have sworn he saw Toni elbow Hermione in the ribs as she passed to turn on the kettle.

"Oh, yeah that job! I can't wait to get started!" exclaimed Hermione, a little shrilly.

Harry and Snape shot each other looks and could tell the other was thinking the same thing- 'What in the name of Merlin's left saggy ball are they on about?'

"You always wanted a job at the desk of a crap ski school then?" Snape asked Hermione with a sneer.

"My life dream," said Hermione, laughing with a pained look on her face.

And with that Harry and Snape found themselves being bundled unceremoniously out of the front door.

"Pub's that way," said Hermione, flapping her hand in a general direction and shutting the door in their faces.

They heard her call behind the door "Did you have to be so obvious Toni? They must think I'm a right loony now. 'I've always wanted an office job at ESF, been my life's dream," squeaked Hermione as if imitating an annoying little girl.

"What was that about?" Harry asked Snape.

"No idea," the older man sighed, "We can't hear them. Want to go Potter?"

"Might as well," said Harry and marched off into the night with Snape close behind.

_Inside the flat_

"You were the one not getting it," said Toni, "I couldn't have been more obvious if I had danced round in a chicken suit with a neon sign above my head."

"Never mind that now," said Hermione as the kettle pinged and Toni poured them coffee, "What did you want to talk about?"

"What did you find out about Snape?"

"He told me he was straight as a pencil."

"And you believe him?"

"Yes. I mean, why would he lie? He wasn't having his sexuality questioned by a naked girl shouting at him through a window this time."

"I was wearing a towel, and maybe he just wants us off his back. I don't think he wants to end up like Harry, forced into the bathroom like that. Although Harry is very hot now..." Toni trailed off.

"Why are you convinced they should be together anyway?"

"I don't know, they seem to fit and as much as they seem to hate each other now, they would be great together. And have you seen the look in Harry's eyes when he thinks no one is looking? He needs happiness and I think Severus could be the one to give it to him and there is no doubt Severus needs some serious TLC."

"TLC?"

"Tender Loving Care."

"Okay, I have to agree with you, as rare as it is. So what do we do next?"

SsSsSsSsSsSsS

Toni pushed open the door of the bar and entered, Hermione right behind her.

Hermione spotted Harry beckoning to them on the other side of the room and grabbed Toni, dragging her away from the Frenchman she had been batting her eyelashes at.

"Just stop it, for a few minutes," said Hermione, exasperatedly.

"I was seeing if he was gay! If he was he would have been perfect for the plan, - I had to check!"

"Yeah, right," sighed Hermione as they reached Harry and Snape.

"We took the liberty of ordering you drinks," said Snape.

"Trust you to say it like that," snarled Harry, then he looked at the two girls and carried on, "We weren't sure what drinks you guys would prefer so Snape took a guess,"

"A Malibu and Coke for you," said Snape, producing it with an over exaggerated flourish to Toni, "and water for you," he said, seemingly pulling a little green umbrella out of thin air and placing it in the drink as he passed it to Hermione.

"Wow, you should be a magician," said Hermione, blushing slightly.

Harry spluttered into his beer as Toni clapped him on the back.

"Alright there Harry? Got to survive till the party,"

"What party?" came Harry's shocked gasp and Snape's snide sneer.

"Happens every Friday, we have a little party. Last time it was awesome, someone spiked the bar maid's drink and she was so pissed she emptied all her Vodka bottles onto us while we were dancing."

"Yes, it was totally awesome when the barmaid passed out while dancing on the table, fell off and split her head," said Hermione sarcastically.

"Regardless," said Toni, flapping Hermione away with a hand.

Just then Harry noticed how full the pub was getting, and quite fast too.

"The Horror Show usually starts about now," Hermione whispered to him.

Just then a French girl wearing electric blue flares and a gold boob tube which clashed with her bright red hair stood on a bar stool and announced something in French to the crowd.

"What did she say?" Harry asked.

"I think she said she was going to go kill herself," said Toni.

"No, you dolt," said Hermione, fondly slapping Toni on the back of the head, "She said she was going to try and not get too pissed this week, kill herself and ruin our night, because tonight is going to be fantastic...apparently anyway," said Hermione, just loud enough for Harry to hear over the music that was gradually growing louder.

"Come on, let's dance," said Toni, grabbing Hermione's hand and pulling her onto the dance floor.

"You too Harry," said Hermione, practically dragging Harry with her.

"Fine then, there is no way that Severus is getting out of this," said Toni and putting her hands around his waist, almost bodily picked him up and carried him over to Harry and Hermione who were laughing as Snape tried to plant his feet on the floor again.

Toni plonked Severus down in the middle of the little group and began to dance around him.

Severus glared at Harry as if it had been him who had picked him up and dragged him over here.

Unnoticed by Harry and Snape Toni whispered to Hermione, 'Perfect opportunity to start plan A' as she danced past.

Hermione nodded and a sly grin crossed her lips.

"Come on Harry, dance with me," said Toni, and she grabbed him and spun him around like a top.

Toni is dancing oddly, thought Harry, she was all over the place before, but now she won't turn round. She always seems to be making sure I'm facing Hermione.

Harry saw Hermione try to coax Snape to dance a bit more, leaning close to him, pressing her body up against his, grinding almost. Whispering in his ear, rubbing her hands up the side of Snape's body...licking just below his mouth.

Wait a second, thought Harry, what the HELL is she doing?

Hermione was gazing at Snape from under her eyelashes. Harry couldn't tell what Snape was doing because he couldn't see the man's face.

He felt outraged.

Then a shout rang across the pub.

"Hey you! Yeah you, you greasy git! You were with that man- long white beard. What was his name?... Ali...Albus... you owe us a trip outside!" _hHhijhi_

_**Is it a bad cliffy? I hope not, because I don't know how long I will be leaving you dangling. I got my dates wrong. Not going to France yet, but I probably won't have time for another update before I go (for three weeks). I might be able to fit another one in...if there is a nice amount of encouragement. (Hey, I'm a Slytherin, get off my back.)**_

_**Anyway hope you like it. And thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Sorry to those who review but don't have an account (namely hyunyung.wigles) but I have stopped replying to people who don't have an account, as last time I did that I got a bit of a stalker. But that doesn't mean I love you less!**_

_**Thanks again to Hermione. kisses shoes you are my saviour girl. Yes, the whole world can know it**___

_**Editor: As Jiggy is on holiday now (couldn't edit fast due to guests being physically bonded to the computer) I am replying to reviews for this chapter, but they may be a little late as don't get email updates, so please be patient and I will do my best. Also do not point out things like "Snape is a Legillimens- why can't he read Herm's mind?" or anything stupid like that. I lost my good typing finger when I did that and I'm her **_**friend**__


	11. Rick

**Hello! Back a bit earlier than expected, so here is the new chapter for you all. Off you trot.**

Harry stopped dancing. It seemed that so had the rest of the pub, the shout had been so loud.

"What," asked Snape, in his usual sneer, "are you talking about, you drunken buffoon?"

The man who had shouted jumped off the table, landing with a thud because of his large set frame and muscled figure and advanced towards Snape and Hermione.

"Is that the best you could come up with?" jeered the other man, his deep voice harsh, cutting through the silence like a knife.

"No, I just thought that it would be kind to not expose the French to the more vulgar parts of our language."

The music stopped and the bar maid looked at them with a glare that told them 'If you dare disturb my bar I will personally hang you off the apartment balconies by your toes.'

"Look here buddy..." started the man, but he didn't manage to finish his sentence as Snape raised an eyebrow and cut across him.

"What are you going to do? Beat me up? Because it worked so well last time," said Snape, the sarcasm and scorn dripping off his words, "and don't call me 'buddy'."

"Last time was a fluke; in a fair fight I would beat you."

"Is that so?" asked Snape silkily, his other eyebrow joining the first as it slid up his head.

"Well, we can always see – now."

"Get ready for more stitches to join the ones I gave you last time," Snape leered and Harry saw Snape's' hand flick quickly towards his belt where he would have kept his wand. When he remembered that he didn't have anymore, his mocking expression didn't falter, but Harry could swear he saw Snape's face whiten slightly as he looked up at the massive figure standing before him.

The other man (who was at least two heads taller than everyone else in the room) strode out looking confident. Snape followed him, his sneering face set in place but the colour slowly draining from his features like a dripping tap.

As the door swung shut behind the two the music started again and everyone continued bobbing up and down to the beat.

"We need to go help him," said Toni, pulling on Harry's hand.

"No -" said Harry, but Toni cut across him.

"What do you mean 'no'?! That guy has never lost a fight, and I am inclined to believe him when he says Severus won by a fluke. I know him; he's lived here for three years. He isn't a man to be messed with. Come on!"

"No!" said Harry, butting in. "I meant let me go, I'm not going to let you and Hermione get mixed up in this just because Snape is stupid enough to make an enemy that is 5 feet taller than him, and if it gets nasty I will have to do something I don't want you to see."

"Okay." Toni was giving up suspiciously easily.

"I mean it," said Harry, and he left the pub.

Hermione bounced up to Toni, "You're not really letting him off that easy, are you?"

"Who do you think I am?" smiled Toni. "You see, this is the perfect way for them to realise their feelings for each other."

"Care to explain how getting Severus turned inside out is going to help?"

"Don't you at least think it's really hot that Harry is running to his rescue?"

"Hot wasn't the word that sprung to mind..."

"Anyway, if they win they might kiss in the heat of the moment, then they can't deny their feelings!"

"And... if they don't win?"

"Let's hope our boxing lessons pay off. Come on; let's keep an eye on them."

SSSSSSS

Harry rounded another corner. Where had they gone?

"You'll pay for what your old man did."

"So you admit he beat you?"

"He beat me. I didn't say he did it fairly."

Harry could hear the voices coming from near the forest, up the road from the top apartments.

"What do you think he did?" jeered Snape, "A harmless old man, with no weapon? How do you think he beat you?"

"He picked up that stick, and poked me in the eye with it while I was lunging at him. As I said, it wasn't fair."

"You and an old man, yes, the odds were really against you."

"Shut up! Let's get this over with. The faster it is the sooner I can get back to my drink."

Harry made his way up the road and hid himself behind a tree. He peered out from behind it and saw Snape and the nameless man standing facing each other, feet apart, knuckles raised.

"So you actually think you'll get back?" asked Snape, forced confidence straining his voice as he stared up at the man who could have easily stepped over him.

"Oh, I've no doubt," growled the man, and he pounced.

Harry didn't know what took over him. He was suddenly filled with dread and fear, so he did the first thing that came to mind, he mimicked the man's movement and sprung. He hit the other man as he was flying through the air.

Snape had drawn his hand back. His eyes widened as his attacker fell to the ground in a ball.

"What are you doing?" he screamed at Harry.

"I'm saving you," Harry shouted back as he jerked his head to avoid the fist that came flying at him.

"No, imbecile," Harry thought it was weird that, despite their situation, Snape still found time to insult him, "Use your w-thing!"

Harry was about to act on Snape's words when he found his wrists were pinned to the ground. He tried to move his legs but they were straddled by the anonymous attacker and he couldn't.

He felt lips brush his ear and hot breath that stunk of stale alcohol sweep across his skin, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

Harry closed his eyes, not wanting to look into the large man's blunt face.

"Remember this name – Rick. I want you to shake every time you hear it, you little SHIT!" The mass that was holding Harry to the ground keeled over and released Harry.

Harry opened his eyes to see Snape kneeling over him, a large bloodstained rock in one hand. "Are you alright Harry?" Snape asked, bending down further to check if Harry was okay, "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine. A little shocked though," said Harry, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

"Good. Well then," said Snape, and he brought his hand back and slapped Harry around the face.

SSSSSSS

"This isn't going quite as I planned," Toni whispered to Hermione, who was peering around the other side of the tree.

"You think?" asked Hermione. "Shh, listen."

"What was that for?" demanded Harry.

"You scared me shitless, you little brat."

"You wanker...Wait a second, you were scared for me?"

"No," said Snape, a little too hurriedly, "What do you think? See the situation from my point of view- Very angry, very big man about to pound the only person with a weapon on my side into the ground and said man fully prepared to pound me into the ground afterwards."

"I must say," said Hermione, "if he's denying his feelings, like you say, he's doing it pretty well."

"Shut up," Toni whispered back, "their having a moment, you know, like a married couple before they have passionate make-up sex."

Hermione was just about to reply when Harry started talking again.

"Then why did you call me Harry?"

Snape was silent for a second. He appeared to be racking his brains, trying to remember when he had had a moment of insanity.

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You said, 'Are you alright Harry?' when you hit that guy over the head with a rock."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"Didn't."

"Did."

"I did not, Potter!"

Harry couldn't help it, he burst out laughing from Severus' pout (well, as close as Snape could get to one) and crap childish antics.

Wait a second- he did _not _just call Snape by his first name. He would have to watch out or he would be taking a leaf out of Snape's book.

"Well," said Harry, still spluttering, "You can't get out of telling me what you were doing here now." Harry straightened out his face, his voice stern. Snape could see he wasn't getting out of it this time. "Dumbledore can't have been here, he died. You killed him."

"Now Potter, there you are wrong. I didn't kill him, I killed Mosag."

"What?"

"Aragog's mate. I assume you knew them, as I remember. Hagrid got drunk when he got back from Azkaban and he told me the whole story about your nasty encounter in second year, just as you had told it to him."

"What's this got to do with Dumbledore?"

"You idiot," said Snape, slapping Harry on the back of the head. "It wasn't Dumbledore that night, it was Mosag. After Aragog died she didn't have anything to live for. We needed a substitute for Dumbledore's death and she said she would do it."

Harry's mouth fell open, "How did you do it? Mosag isn't exactly... the same as us."

"A little Hocus Pocus. Remember this is Dumbledore we're talking about."

"But I was with Dumbledore all the time, they couldn't have switched."

"But they did Potter. When you were flying over the forest towards the school, you were looking up at the Dark Mark. Dumbledore swapped with Mosag, then climbed down a tree into the forest to wait at the edge of the wards for me so we could apparate here. Meanwhile you and Mosag arrived at the tower and I killed her, thereby convincing you and the Death Eaters I was on their side, as no one had anyway of knowing I wasn't. I told the Dark Lord Dumbledore was hiding a weapon here, but I couldn't speak of it. I came here with Dumbledore under the pretence of finding a weapon to kill you, and coming back occasionally with false information or the Dark Lord, but mainly staying here to plan with Dumbledore."

"What were you planning?"

"Dumbledore was assumed dead, I was assumed the ultimate arsehole. We were keeping track of you through the locket you got from that chamber by the sea- Dumbledore put a quick tracker on it while you were fighting the Inferius. We could see what you were doing and knew where you were. We were planning to come in at the last battle and help as it would catch everyone off guard and give us a huge advantage, but we couldn't tell you any of this because you never learned to close your mind!" Snape hit Harry on the back of the head again.

"What the hell are they talking about?" Hermione whispered to Toni.

"I don't know, but it sounds to me like this Mosag chick had a hell of a lot of plastic surgery."

Hermione snorted into her hand. "We'll talk about it later, but can we go now? My legs feel like they died about 10 minutes ago."

"Shh," Toni put her finger to Hermione's lips. "Look," she pointed at Harry and Snape. Harry was still lying on the ground, propped up on his elbows, obviously fascinated by Snape's story. Snape himself was leaning over Harry, still holding the rock in one hand. What neither of them seemed to have noticed was that Snape's other hand was inches from Harry's own.

"If you can believe such a wild story," Snape continued, staring at Harry.

"I believe you," said Harry, staring back at Snape.

"That's the problem with you Gryffindors, always trusting."

"Don't complain. If I didn't believe you I would have tied you up again," smiled Harry. At the same moment Hermione slapped Toni as she appeared to be having over-excitement spasms.

"Oh no, I'm not complaining," said Snape, his mouth attempting a half-hearted twitch.

"We're moments away from the passionate sex," Toni whispered causing Hermione to raise her eyebrows.

"Come on, let's go back to the pub," said Harry, "Toni and Hermione will be wondering if we've been pounded in to the ground yet. You can tell me the rest later."

"They have such little faith," said Snape as they made their way back down the mountain.

Hermione heard a loud noise behind her; she turned from watching Harry and Severus to see Toni banging her head against the nearest tree.

SSSSSSSSS

Harry and Snape entered the pub to a shocked gasp, then a round of applause. They both suddenly found themselves being pulled on to the dance floor and numerous drinks being pushed into their hands (which they couldn't drink because they were being clapped on the back so hard if they had tried to even sip them they would have snapped their teeth)

They spotted Toni and Hermione at the back of the pub and made their way over to them.

"Why are you out of breath?" Harry asked, suspiciously.

"Dancing really takes it out of you," said Hermione. Just at the same time Toni said, "Don't know about you Hermione, but that felt like that guy was eating my face."

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"What? You can pull and dance at the same time," said Toni, "You obviously need to get out more, old man."

If Snape hadn't been an expert at hiding his emotions his jaw would have cracked when it hit the floor. Before he could say anything in his defence Toni had started talking again.

"Anyway, us two are shattered from all that multi-tasking we've been doing, and you to look like you need to loosen up after that fight, so why don't you two go for a dance." It should have been a question, but it came out as more of a statement.

"I don't dance." Snape's tone was just as firm as Toni's had been.

"Well, you were looking pretty good with Hermione earlier," said Toni, raking her eyes over Snape's heavily clothed figure. If his ears hadn't been covered by his hair Hermione would have seen the red tinge and if she had been looking at Harry she would have seen the momentary flash of red in his cheeks. What she did see was a figure wearing a black cloak with a black hood floating past the pub.

For a moment the music seemed to dim, and the glass in her hand stuck to her fingers with cold, then Hermione blinked, and it was gone.

The next thing she knew she was pushed onto the dance floor with Severus once more, and the next morning she didn't remember a thing.

**Thanks for the reviews. Let's try to outdo ourselves for the sake of mine and my editor's sanity (We live in crazy houses – we work off praise. It keep us going.)**

**Please, don't ask me any stupid questions, I won't answer them.**

**The next update might be a little late, but I will do it as fast as possible. Toodle Pip.**


	12. Sherbet Lemons are deadly things

Harry awoke the next morning to the feeling that he had been kicked in the head by an angry three year old.

He ignored the minor hangover and groped his way to the bathroom where he inserted the first contacts he got his hands on. He looked in the mirror. The contacts were pure black and gave the impression that he was off his head. His hair looked like a blast ended skrewt had slept in it. The remainder of his eyeliner was smeared over his cheeks, and sleep was clinging ferociously to his eyelashes.

But at the moment that didn't matter to Harry. He wanted to find out where Dumbledore was. He had to be around here somewhere, if he had survived before, but the question was where.

He had wanted to ask Snape last night when they were in the wood, but he wouldn't have put it past Toni and Hermione to follow him (thank Squid they didn't) and that would have brought out a lot of awkward questions if they had heard anything at all.

Well, that's what Harry had kept telling himself all of last night. It had nothing to do with the fact he and Snape had been alone together, absolutely nothing at all. He refused to acknowledge the fact that Snape's hand had been mere inches from his own. And the fact that he had thought himself and Snape had been getting closer all the time had certainly been his drunken imagination.

Harry pushed off from the sink and made his way back through the bedroom and into the sitting room, where he had transfigured a bed for Snape from one of the sofas.

When he entered the room Snape was lying on the cot staring at the ceiling.

"About bloody time," said Snape not taking his eyes off the wallpaper, "Do you know how infuriating it is to have to lie here awake while you snore away in the next room?"

"Maybe if I could trust you I wouldn't have to bind you to the bed," said Harry grumpily, flicking his wand at Snape to release him, "and I don't snore."

"You wouldn't know," replied Snape, lounging leisurely now he had been released, "you sleep through it, which must take a lot. I couldn't,"

Harry realised he didn't have a stable argument, and even if he did, being against Snape meant he would probably further embarrass himself. And he had to find out about Dumbledore.

Harry stumped over to the kettle and flicked it on. Pulling out two mugs he asked Severus what he wanted.

"Strong coffee, small splash of milk, no sugar. What do you really want to say Potter?"

Damn man, knows everything.

"Not everything Potter. But very close."

Harry was glad his back was turned or else Snape would have had a good cackle at the expression on his face.

"Where's Dumbledore? You said he survived, but he ain't-"

"Isn't."

"You're so infuriating!" Harry half shouted. He was already wound up and Snape wasn't helping with his stupid grammatical corrections and questionable position on the bed.

Snape just stared at him blankly as the kettle squealed for attention.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, "Hang over." Harry hoped Snape didn't see through his crap excuse, to the real reasons for his mood. It would be quite weird to have Snape know why he was feeling embarrassed and angry when he wasn't even sure himself.

Snape ignored him and carried on as if Harry hadn't said anything more than 'Where's Dumbledore?'

"You'll have to re-cap, I've forgotten exactly what I told you yesterday."

"Well, Mosag took the place of Dumbledore- wait a second, a little tangent here, how did you get her to do that? From the past encounters I've had with them, they were neither friendly nor helpful."

"There were several reasons, the first being that she had a bit of a grudge against Voldemort. He destroyed her nesting ground and all the spiders in it during the last war when they refused to help him. The second being she had very little will to live now that Aragog, her mate, was dead. Lastly, she had very little time to live anyway; she was as old as Aragog."

"Thoroughly answered sir." Harry did a mini salute before he carried their drinks over to the sofa. "So she replaced Dumbledore, and Dumbledore slid down a tree and ran away."

"Not exactly," said Snape into his coffee mug, "She replaced Dumbledore, Dumbledore slid down a tree, snapped his wand and waited for me."

"Why the hell did he snap his wand?"

"Not on purpose you dolt," said Snape, leaning across and slapping him across the back of the head, causing Harry to practically break his teeth on his cup.

Harry chose not to challenge Snape about it, that had been a pretty stupid question after all.

"He did all that while you were busy up on the tower, so then why did you help Draco?"

"I had made an unbreakable vow to his mother that I would protect him (Harry raised his eyebrows at this), plus it would have looked pretty suspicious had a made a bee line for the door without helping out."

"So you left with Draco, and... then why were you trying to kill me and shrieking at me like a demented fool on the way out?"

"I was shouting at you because, Potter, I didn't like you at the time and still don't. But if you had half a brain you would have noticed that at the time I was practically teaching you, scaring you into doing real magic. Also, to counter your other accusation, I did not send a single fatal curse. I'll go as far as to say, if memory serves correctly, I even stopped one of the other Death Eaters from torturing you."

Harry took a moment to remember back to the time he had run after Snape. After a few minutes he couldn't think of a way to counter Snape's argument, everything he had said had been true. Unless he had actually been out to kill Harry and forgotten or something.

"So you picked up Dumbledore, came here and pretended to be working for Voldemort, and keeping an eye on me...how?"

"Dumbledore put a spell on the locket on your way back to the school; after that all he had to do was channel his magic through anyone's wand and an image would appear, as if looking through your eyes, as long as you wore the locket. The best bit about the spell is even when the wand is tested it does not reveal the spell has been cast, so after Dumbledore's wand snapped he would use mine."

"So where is Dumbledore now?"

"Dead."

"But...but, you...what?"

" The day of the battle I reported back to Voldemort and he told me with his plan they were almost certain to win the battle but he didn't tell me what the plan was... I just have to wonder, I'll never know now..." Snape was quiet for a moment as he looked far away. Harry had a very strong inkling as to what the plan had been, and he wasn't inclined to tell this man who would no doubt rub Harry's face in it as much as he could.

Snape shook his head as he snapped out of his stupor, "Anyway, I left the Dark Lord and returned to the flat Albus and myself had been staying in. We were going to get him a wand and then return to help you."

"What do you mean 'were'?" Harry said, narrowing his eyes.

Snape took a long gulp from his mug as if trying to avoid the question; he would inevitably have to answer. Unless of course he wanted to defy Harry, but he noted Harry was the only one with a wand.

"When I got back... he was lying on the floor, dead."

"What?"

"I've said it once Potter, I will not say it again," said Snape, beginning to raise his voice.

"How the hell could he be dead?! You said he was alive."

"No Potter, you imbecile, I said I didn't kill him."

"Then how did he die?"

"When I got back there were signs that he had been choking, and I saw some sherbet lemons on the counter."

Harry sat there, mouth threatening to gape. The idea that Dumbledore had died by choking on sherbet lemons was just...just bizarre.

"No, he didn't," Harry said, as if whatever he said was the truth.

"I assure you Potter, those were the circumstances," Harry, by now, was getting annoyed with Snape and all his fancy pants talk. Harry was beginning to become determined to blame Snape for something.

"I know that there is a spell that stops choking. Why wouldn't he have done that? I bet you killed him!"

"Potter, trying to accuse me because you're pissed off will get you nowhere."

"So you admit it! HA, I knew it!"

Snape sat there for a moment, his face unreadable, then he seemed to grasp his bearings. "Do you honestly think I could make up a story that stupid Potter? I don't think I could name anyone who could come up with something so far fetched and idiotic! If you had stopped to think you would have realised that Dumbledore had snapped his wand at that time so he couldn't save himself, and I wasn't going to leave him with my wand,"

Harry paused, still pissed off.

"Why didn't he have another wand then? You said yourself you were going to come to the battle, what could the two of you do with only one wand?"

"Potter, Dumbledore was supposed to be dead; he couldn't waltz into a shop at random and buy a wand. We were going to leave it to just before the battle, when, hopefully, everyone would be so pleased to see us they wouldn't ask questions until later."

"So why didn't you go to the battle," said Harry, determined to put Snape in the wrong, or anger him so much that he would jump off the bed and stop looking so damn inviting. Harry mentally slapped himself, no, he just wanted to put Snape in the wrong because he was so damn annoying.

"When Albus died the spell he had cast on the locket was broken so I couldn't see where you were that way. I had previously made sure the Dark Lord wouldn't ask me to come to the battle, so he didn't see fit to tell me where it was bound to take place. I would have come back afterwards to help get rid of the rest of the Death Eaters, but I had a huge price on my head. I can come back now though, you know the truth, you saw Rick, you can clear my name."

Harry looked down at his lap. So was that all he was? An ally that Snape would leave to clean up once his name was clear?

"You could have come back," Harry whispered into his lap, tears threatening to leak from his eyes as he remembered the last battle, the dark trees, the stench of death, the soothing words, his mother's hands around his throat.

"What?" asked Snape, so quietly Harry almost didn't hear him.

"You could have come back if you wanted. It wouldn't have been hard," Harry had been whispering but he began to raise his voice, "You could have done if you really tried, we needed all the help we could get and you never came, but then again you're so cold, you heartless bastard, how could you help anyone? Selfish Coward!"

Both men were still. Harry sat there, red in the face, tears spewing out of his eyes. Snape stayed still as death, not even breathing, his face a mask.

"Don't think just because you are a Gryffindor you are the only one who cares." Snape said the words so quietly Harry practically had to lip read, "Just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve does not mean I can't care. Just because I have shared with you one of the most disastrous years of my life does not mean that you know me, and don't assume that you do, because you never will. You aren't the only one who has suffered at the hands of the Dark Lord. Never again talk of things you don't understand."

Snape stood and grabbed his sallopettes, boots, and board and left, leaving Harry stunned on the sofa.

Harry didn't even bother to send a spell after Snape. He didn't know if the other man would come back, and at that moment he didn't care.

Though if Snape did return, it would be Harry who was to apologise first.

"Because he's a stubborn dick," Harry said aloud.

_On the other side of the wall_

Toni and Hermione took their stethoscopes away from the wall, and both sighed.

"One step forward."

"Five steps back," they said, and nodded in agreement.

_**Sorry, this chapter took a while, but first it was sailing, then the job I had for a few days was more tiring than I thought, then I accidentally deleted 3,000 words of the chapter (this was going to be a 5,000 word chapter,) so it been all over the place. I don't foresee anything that will stop anymore regular up-dates but then again my inner eye is about as good as Trelawney's, so that isn't much to go on.**_

_**Also due to the fact I accidentally got rid of half the damn chapter it has been sufficiently shortened, so instead of this and 3,000 words on Harry's inability to ski, it is now a chapter for answering questions and posing more. And no, one of the questions is not 'How did Toni and Hermione get stethoscopes?'**_

_**One more note for the dim or mentally deranged (yes, that does include my editor), Deathly Hallows hasn't happened yet! If it had there would be one huge flaw in the story, my favourite character (Severus) would be unquestionably dead. **__Cries __**Okay, not going to get myself started on that. Just making sure you all remembered because I did actually have to remind someone. **__Cough __**editor! **__Cough._

_**Anyway thank you for tolerating me, and leave me some compliments or critique please, I've spent hours on this chapter (even though most of it is no longer here.)**_


	13. Frizzy Hair

Harry slid into place on the ski lift, grumbling to himself about the bad day he was having.

Snape had stormed out, probably to kill someone else. Harry had burnt his mouth on his coffee, cut himself shaving, stubbed his little toe and fallen down the stairs again, much to the amusement of a gaggle of French girls.

He had decided to go skiing to calm down before his lesson.

He told himself it was to calm down, but he had to admit to himself that, for him, skiing was about as calming as being chased by a female dragon on its 'time of the month'.

Harry wondered vaguely where his letter to Hermione had gone, but after all Hermione had said the owl wouldn't find them, so it probably hadn't.

How long would he be here? He would like to go home before he attacked Snape with a kitchen utensil or visa versa.

The top of the lift came into sight and Harry started to wiggle his bum a bit, getting ready to stand up. Harry was by no means as bad a skier as he had been at the beginning but any talent he possessed for the sport had still to appear.

"Hey!" Harry looked up to see a girl he had never seen before. She had a round face, blonde frizzy hair that fell to her shoulders and azure eyes. She wore a fluorescent pink bobble hat and a bright green rain coat, under which she wore mud spattered orange sallopettes. Yet the thing that stood out most from her bizarre appearance was her smile, which was like that of a Cheshire cat who had stolen all the cream.

"Hello," said Harry, trying not to reveal the fact he didn't know her. After all he was Harry Potter, and people he met on the street seemed to expect him to know them somehow.

"I saw you were on you own and I thought, you know, I'm on my own, so we could like, go skiing together, I'm no good at it either, so it will be great, not that you're useless or anything, well, you don't have to come if you don't want to come if you don't want to, but I thought you might, you know, want someone to go with, because you're on your own and I'm on my own, but now that I think about it, you're probably waiting for someone, or you wouldn't still be up here, do you want to come anyway, you know if you aren't waiting?" The girl blurted out the whole sentence in one breath very fast. After she had finished it took Harry a few seconds to catch up.

"Yeah, sure."

"Oh cool, are you here with anyone, well, like, not now, but do you have someone with you where you are staying? I know you don't have anyone with you know of course, apart from me. I was wondering because, like, it would be cool to all go skiing together some time, you know, to get to know each other, then we can be like skiing buddies. If you want to of course, you don't have-"

"I'll see what he thinks first," said Harry, cutting across her.

"I'm Frizz by the way," said the girl, holding out her hand in a fist.

Harry wondered what she was doing and stared at her fist, "I'm Harry."

"Cool. Respect." said Frizz, waggling her fist. Harry copied her and she cracked her knuckles against his, rather hard.

"God, I hate it when you do that and people just look at you like 'what the hell you doing?' or they just don't do respect and then you feel like such an idiot, like there was this one time when..."

_One very one sided conversation later….._

Eventually Harry and Frizz started off. They had decided to do one run down the green slope to the bottom, then have lunch together and meet up after Harry's lesson.

They were making their way steadily down 'Marvel' (the slope). They were doing quite well, Harry had only fallen once and Frizz had only crashed into Harry once.

"Hey, Harry!" Frizz shouted from the other side of Marvel (which is about 800 yards wide if you wanted to know).

"Yeah?" Harry bellowed back from the other side.

"You seem depressed, I dunno, maybe it's because your always like this or what, but, I dunno, because this is like the first time I've meet you. Are you alright? You've been acting strange, but of course I'm not sure if it's strange for you-"

"I'm fine," Harry shouted in panic, desperate to cut her off before she went on another rant that the whole slope could hear.

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to," Harry said, lowering the volume of his voice as he got closer and closer to Frizz.

"Okay, I'll strike a deal with you."

Harry quickly went through the possible escape routes in his mind as Frizz grabbed his arm to stop him and herself.

"You don't introduce me to you friends, so there is no chance I can spill or embarrass you. While you're telling your story you can use fake names if you like. But you have to tell me what's up, because sad people can get boring. And I like to smile inanely, and I feel stupid if I do it by myself."

Harry weighed it all up in his head. On one hand it would be embarrassing. On the other he could have someone else to help him sort out whatever he was feeling, and he had to tell someone something or he would burst, and this was the only way short of starting a diary.

"Okay, but not here, in the café."

Frizz smiled, pushed him down the slope and promptly fell down after him.

She landed on top of his chest laughing vigorously, skis and poles tangled.

Harry suddenly noticed how close her face was to his.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

"Hey! Hurry up!" Toni screamed at Hermione from the bottom of the slope.

"It's not my fault you're a ski instructor! It's your job to be better than me! If it bothers you that you have to keep waiting then slow down! Practice technique or something!"

"I don't need to, I am perfect," said Toni, smiling at Hermione from behind her ski poles. "Anyway, give skiing a little break, I want to talk about Operation Wine Bottle."

"Why do we have to call it that?"

"Because we are alcoholic maniacs!"

"You mean _you_ are." Hermione grumbled, "The amount of liquor we have is shocking."

"You never know."

"What. you never know when 50 or so alcoholic giants might stop by for a binge drinking fest?"

"Shut up." Toni hit Hermione gently on the arm as she drew level with her on the slope. "We might need to get them drunk if Harry doesn't hurry up and jump on his true love while he's sober."

"Toni, we want to get them drunk, not kill them, and besides, you still haven't considered if Severus might be.."

Toni sent Hermione an evil eye, but said no more and skied to the bottom of the chair lift, eyeing up the list attendant and beckoning to Hermione at the same time.

"Show off," Hermione grumbled fondly as she followed her friend.

"Anyway," Toni continued as they waited in the queue, "The argument this morning wasn't the best thing, but it could be used to our advantage."

"How? I thought we were trying to get them together."

"We are, they have the feelings, they just need to discover them."

"You sound like a character from a cheesy movie, and isn't it better that they discover the feelings for themselves?"

"They are discovering them for themselves… we're just nudging them in the right direction."

Hermione raised her eyebrows, then sighed, "So, how is the argument helping our 'nudging'?"

"I'm glad you asked my dear friend." Hermione opened her mouth but Toni continued ignoring her, "Now our plan is fool proof, all we have to do is flirt and they will pull away because they don't want us then they will have to face their feelings!"

"But what if they rebound to someone else? And why don't we just get someone else to do it? Flirt I mean."

"Because if someone else does it they might actually have sex with them, which will make the jealousy factor so high it won't work and one of them will just end up storming out-"

"But that already happened."

"Shut up. Stop using common sense." said Toni, hitting Hermione on the top of the head. "Anyway, we can't use someone else. Back to the point, actually now I think about it I'm pretty pleased about the argument, makes it far more exciting and dramatic! Plus they will be in no mood for pissing about the point, so we won't have to dance around the word 'sex' and 'together'."

"Remind me why we aren't allowed to use those words again."

"If we say 'together' or 'partner' Severus will run away and if we say 'sex' Harry will probably turn red and explode," explained Toni as she lifted up the bar.

They slid off the chair lift together and stopped to tighten their boots.

"Anyway all we have to do now is flirt and push them together and if that doesn't work we lock them in a cupboard for a day or two."

"Wow, Toni, sometimes your initiative in these situations amazes even me."

"Me too!" said Toni, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the sarcasm, "So I flirt with Harry and you with Severus and then they go all cute 'n shit."

Hermione looked as if she was about to vomit, "but I did that already and it was hell."

"But you said you wanted to."

"No, I didn't, I said I would rather flirt with Severus than talk to Harry about sex, and I said that as a way to get out of it. I didn't think you would take me seriously!"

"Oh…. Well, now I'm going to make you do as I say! And you will flirt with Severus… it's not like you really mean it…. Come on." It could have been the fact Hermione was turning slightly greenish that made Toni give in, "Okay, you can have Harry."

"Hurray." said Hermione sarcastically "but at least he isn't twice my age."

"What are you talking about? Have you not got a nice long look at Sev's ass in those trouse-"

Hermione placed her hands over her ears and began to sing loudly.

"rs, and, oh his huge…" she continued in a louder voice.

"Stop it!" Hermione said, flapping her arms and slapping Toni's side repeatedly.

"Fine," Toni snorted. "Hey, I don't have long till my lesson with Harry, but it won't take so long if we go down Marvel. Come on."

"I'm warming to this plan you know," Hermione grinned as they began to ski. "I think it might be fun."

"Really?"

"It's growing like an unwanted fungus."

"Wow, that's attractive."

"I know… I know, so I think this plan actually might work, as long as no one interferes."

"Yep, nothing can mess it up now."

They turned a corner and stopped.

"Nothing, huh?"

For once Toni was speechless as she watched the scene unfold before her.

_**Hehehe! I am an evil kinevil! Sorry, it took so long hectic week, detentions and birthdays take up too much time. I promise I will not piss about so much in future.**_

_**You know if everyone who had me on their alert list reviewed me for this chapter I would have 222 reviews by now. So lets see if we can hit that (I know the stats people,) Even if you're not on the alert list, please review. Even if it's just to say 'Great Job!' Come on, that took me half a second to write. I know the phrase 'Time is money' but that wouldn't even get you a Starburst, or any other tiny pointless sugar filled item you can think of. So just let me know what you think, it really helps out.**_

_**Thanks again to my psycho editor!**_

_**(Editor- This took me four days to edit due to the VAST amount of homework my teachers have been giving me. I apologise for the wait, but there is some good that can come out of this. If this continues to be the only day I can edit, it means Jiggy and I can update regularly every week or so, as she can write in my delay. This is our goal, but please be patient as we settle into this routine.)**_


	14. A New Family Member

Frizz lowered her mouth. Harry automatically parted his lips, then realised what he was doing and quickly shut them again.

He tried to move his hands so he could push away her face, but he couldn't, as his hands were trapped rather painfully underneath her. He tried to wriggle away. Again he found he couldn't- his own indent in the snow held him fast.

Harry instead contented himself with pushing his head back into the snow and wishing Severus would wake him up with his usual 'Potter! Wake up you twat, I need some food!" or maybe, 'Potter! get your lazy arse out of bed, I must relieve myself!' Harry almost laughed to himself; he loved the way Severus didn't talk like a normal person.

He opened his eyes and saw Frizz's lips a mere inch from his.

Suddenly Frizz's eyes shot open and she squeaked as she was pulled away from Harry.

Harry was momentarily grateful. That was until he heard Toni's scream.

"You bitch!"

From his place on the floor Harry heard a hard slap.

"Who the hell are you?"

"You know damn well who I am!" Slap!

"Toni? What are you doing? who is this?" Slap!

"Stop slapping me! I haven't done anything I don't even know who you are,"

Harry wished now more than ever that he had had time to learn to apparate properly. Then he joined Frizz in confusion – what the hell was going on?

"You know what I mean, you gold digger!"

Harry looked up to stare blankly at Frizz, who was looking just as blank as him, to Toni who was steaming at the ears, to Hermione who looked like she was trying her best not to look like she didn't know what was going on, and back to Frizz again who had also started going red but that had more to do with the hand shaped mark on her cheek.

"What's going on here?" Harry looked up to see Severus looking down at them all. His gaze rested on Toni who appeared to be reaching for Frizz's throat. "What's going on?" he repeated more sternly.

"That bitch stole my money!" Toni screamed. She grabbed Frizz by the hair and dragged her into the trees shouting "I must settle this!"

Harry thought it an amazing feat, as both girls still had their skis on. He then noticed that Hermione and Severus were staring at him.

"What?" he asked innocently, looking up at them.

Hermione sighed and went to follow her friend.

Severus continued to stare at Harry.

"What?" Harry repeated, getting up.

"You are more of a whore than I first thought Potter."

"What?" Harry was beginning to feel like a stuck CD.

"You know what I mean."

Harry felt like he was trying to solve a puzzle he had somehow managed to lose all the pieces to. All he had as one pathetic piece of it. He turned it over in his mind. His feelings for Severus. Even that piece didn't make much sense. It stuck out in places Harry didn't want it to.

"Now Potter, we are going to come to an understanding. I live with you," Harry didn't want to admit his heart did a mini pirouette, "but we don't look at each other, you don't talk to me except to release me in the morning, or to tell me what you're going to be cooking. I don't talk to you unless I am forced to and I fail to see a scenario where that will be the case. There is nothing between us, you're a spoilt annoying brat, and I'm a mean sadistic bastard. And we will have to deal with it until that useless Granger replies to your owl. I would move out, but my apartment has been repossessed. So from now on there is silence," Severus whispered the last word so quietly Harry had to lean toward him to hear it.

He leaned in, and made the mistake of looking into Severus's onyx eyes. He had to admit to himself now he had a crush on Severus Snape. Just a tiny one.

"I'm sorry," Harry blurted, "I was being a selfish ass this morning."

"I'm glad you can accept your faults Potter."

There was a pause.

"Aren't you going to apologise?"

"What for?"

"For storming out like that!" Harry stopped himself from saying 'I was worried,' -that would be embarrassing. And he knew full well he shouldn't have been worried, Severus could look after himself.

But Harry had to admit to himself that it hadn't been that kind of worry, he had been more worried that Severus wouldn't come back.

And that thought scared him, and to know how much that thought scared him only served to scare him more.

* * *

"I didn't steal anything from you! I don't even know you!" 

"I know," whispered Toni, "Shut up." she peered out from the trees.

"What?" Harry asked innocently, staring at Hermione and Severus.

Hermione snapped off her skis and followed Toni into the woods.

"What's going on?" Frizz demanded.

"Shut up," Toni repeated, hitting Frizz over the head.

"Stop hitting me!" Frizz said indignantly.

"You'll get used to it," said Hermione, joining them in watching Harry and Severus from the trees.

"What do you mean 'get used to it'? I'm not spending any longer with you weirdoes!"

"You're involved now. You have no choice."

"But I didn't ask to be involved!" Frizz almost wailed, earning herself another hit over the head.

"Toni, stop hitting her."

"Don't defend her, or I'll start on you too," Toni now directed her speech at Frizz, "Then why did you try to kiss Harry?"

"What?"

"You know what I mean. Out there. You were trying to explore the inside of his mouth. I could have seen it even if I was blind."

"Kiss him? EW!" Hermione and Toni stopped and stared at her.

"What do you mean 'EW'?" demanded Hermione, "You were hitting on him out there."

"You were leaning right in," added Toni menacingly.

"I was trying to get my skis untangled."

"I can see how pulling Harry would help you do that, maybe he could untangle your clothes from your body while he was at it."

"I don't even like Harry, I have a _boyfriend_."

There was a pause. Even Harry and Severus had ceased to talk.

"Wow... well, this is awkward," said Toni, scratching the back of her neck.

"Aren't you going to apologise?" said Frizz, almost in sync with Harry.

"What for?" asked Hermione, in same moment Severus asked the same thing.

"Accusing me of nothing, dragging me by my hair for no reason and beating me!"

"I have no reason to apologise, I'm not sorry. Anyway I could use you."

"I'm sure that sounded a lot less wrong in your head Toni," said Hermione, patting her on the back.

"Yes, it did...Anyway, Operation Wine Glass is back on track, and we have a new helper."

Frizz looked from Toni to Hermione like they were mad.

"What are you talking about?" was all she managed to croak.

"You explain," said Toni, patting Hermione on the head, "I have a lesson with Harry, and make sure you fill this lass in well. I want a fully qualified cadet when I see you after Harry's lesson. Oh, and don't worry about Severus too much at the moment. I have a plan."

It could have but been Frizz's imagination, but she was sure she saw Hermione's shoulders sag as Toni turned her back and strode toward the two men.

"I'm in," said Frizz, standing up, "I don't know a lot, but I have a feeling with Severus and Toni there is no chance of boredom."

"You're right," sighed Hermione, "but sometimes boredom is safer."

* * *

"Come on Harry old chum," said Toni jovially, swinging her arm around him and clipping on her skis at the same time, "lesson time," and she slid off down the slope, Harry tucked neatly under her arm. 

"So what are we going to do in today's lesson?"

"Various bits and pieces," replied Toni as she steered Harry toward the closest chair lift.

Toni released Harry as they slid onto their seats.

"Harry, I know your secret."

_Shit! She knows I'm a wizard! If the Ministry finds out I'll be arrested for sure!_

"What secret?"

"I would tell you, but then it wouldn't be a secret would it?"

"But if you know it then it isn't a secret, is it?"

"No, it's a truth."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"No, there's a line. Your secret could not be a truth, and it can't be a lie until it is spoken. But although they are few and far between there is such a thing as a truth."

"What are you talking about?"

"You won't know until you speak the truth."

Harry's head buzzed. He felt like asking her how long she had been rehearsing that line, but decided against it. Instead he settled on ignoring her confusing statements that probably didn't make sense anyway.

"So what do you want me to say?"

"Your feelings for Severus."

"Selfish bastard."

"Your real feelings Harry."

"And what if I don't tell you?"

"I'll make your head explode."

Harry raised his eyebrows.

"Well, I won't do it personally, eventually your mouth will explode of its own accord and your secrets will all come tumbling out and not necessarily to the right people. Tell me, or go to the boulangerie tonight and tell Hermione. I don't care which, just do it."

"Why do you care so much?"

"I'm just looking out for you Harry. We wouldn't want Severus to hear about it would we?"

"I think I'll see Hermione later."

It would be more embarrassing, but at least the initial reaction wouldn't be

'Sqwee! So when are you going to doink?'

He had better go or, he had to admit, he would accidentally blurt it to Severus, and that would be embarrassing... imagine: 'Severus, I'm having funny feelings about you, but I honestly don't know what they are, so can you kiss me, just so, you know, I can sort it out.'

* * *

So that is how Harry ended up falling down to the boulangerie that evening (he still hadn't got the knack of all the stairs). 

"Ah Harry, I've been expecting you," said Hermione, smiling at him from a table and motioning for him to sit down opposite her. A cup of tea was already laid out for him.

"I thought you said this wasn't going to be a big deal."

"It's not."

"Then why have you set out cups of tea and got all prepared... hey, are you wearing mascara?"

"Of course I drink tea, I'm British."

"I'm British too, but not _that _British. Next thing you know we'll be doing embroidery," Harry mumbled the last bit so Hermione couldn't hear him. Who knew - she might take him seriously.

"Right Harry, I knew you were hiding something. Spill the beans."

"There's nothing to tell, I'm just beginning to be friends with him and he makes it so hard, I'm just trying to be nice."

_Flashback_

"_If he doesn't want to admit it at first then flirt shamelessly, it's known to __break any gay man."_

"_Why do I have to talk to him?"_

"_I think he feels that you are more sane than I."_

"_How shocking."_

_Flashback ends_

"Well, if that's all Harry... then I was thinking, we should go out sometime." whispered Hermione from under her eyelashes.

Fuck, thought Harry, I don't want to date her, but if I turn her down she'll think I want to date Severus.

"I know you said you were gay," continued Hermione, "but I was wondering if you could...explore your sexuality further for me."

Harry was frozen. "I'll see how it goes over the next few days."

* * *

"And he actually fell for it?" asked Frizz, almost laughing. 

"What do I do?" Hermione almost wailed, "Toni, if your predictions are right he'll accept the date!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Toni grinned, "I'm out working tonight. Hermione, you better sort out my decks, we're going to Hot Liquid."

"What?" asked Frizz as Hermione groaned and buried her head in her hands.

"She's a DJ, and Hot Liquid is a... gay strip club."

_**I have had so much trouble with this chapter, so you had better appreciate **__**it. I know it ain't the best chapter ever but I have spent 5 hours on this **__**thing, and if I spend anymore time on it I will scream. I also know not **__**much happens in it, it's one of those joining together chapters, it has to be **__**in there and it is boring. But the next chapter will be fun. :D**_

_**Oh, and another note to my faithful reviewers, I love you (no, I'm not a hippie) I know people like my story because I am on 91 alert lists. Which really annoys me, because I'm getting 12 reviews per chapter. So thank you to those who review and to those who don't, I am a trained vampire.**_


	15. Hot Liquid

_**Advanced warning: sorry for the jibe at the Swiss in the middle, it isn't a jibe at the Swiss, just at my editor.**_

_**Also this is where the "action" begins so, if you fear... pleasurable things... please beware and start to miss chunks of text near the end.**_

"Don't you really like that restaurant at the top of Marvel?"

"Did you have a good time with Toni?"

"Do you like your bread seedless?"

Harry tried one question after another but none could get Severus to talk. The only response he got was when he asked Severus which bread he preferred. Severus had grunted and pointed at the seedless bread on the counter.

"Say something Snape, or else I'm going to feel like a right twit."

"We're going out tonight."

"Thank you for letting me know."

Severus laughed, "I wouldn't have bothered, Potter, were it not for the fact that if you go out looking like that I will have to pretend I don't know you."

Harry scowled and threw off his shirt, reaching for his deodorant on the counter.

"And don't spray those chemicals near the food," said Severus without even looking up from his book.

Harry made his way out onto the balcony. He heard his sharp intake of breath echo back at him when the cold air hit his bare chest. He quickly sprayed himself and went back inside.

"Squid, it's cold," Harry said, rubbing his arms as he re-entered, shutting the door.

"Of course it is you dolt. It's the middle of winter, and you're not wearing anything."

"I am," said Harry indignantly, pulling at the band of the leather trousers Toni had given him.

Severus looked at him, "And they qualify as clothes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "They look more like a bondage aid to me."

Harry snorted.

"What's so amusing?" Severus asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Just when I was eleven… I could… I could never have imagined this." Harry said spluttering.

"Only at eleven, Potter? I've spent my whole life avoiding imagining this kind of situation."

Harry couldn't help it. He burst into huge guffaws of laughter as Severus looked at him blankly.

"Your sense of humour is somewhat superficial isn't it Potter?"

This only caused Harry to laugh harder, now at the look on Severus' face.

The microwave pinged and Harry tried to make his way over to it, still laughing. He stumbled and fell over the sofa onto the floor.

Severus let out a loud grating bark, one that might be called a laugh.

Harry laughed at Severus and Severus cackled at Harry until neither were quite sure what was funny anymore.

They stopped when they could find no excuse to carry on, leaving an awkward silence.

Harry quickly scuffled to get everything together and brought dinner over to the table.

"So," Harry cleared his throat, "Where are we going tonight?"

"Toni and Hermione invited us.,they said Frizz would pick us up. We're going clubbing. They said it was our type of club. I assume they mean that the people there have _some _class, and the women wear skirts as opposed to belts."

"Sounds fun," said Harry absentmindedly, secretly resenting any woman, regardless of what they were wearing, if they turned Severus on.

"What's for dinner?"

"Raclette. It's a French dish, composed of cheese, potatoes and ham."

"Is there any French dish that isn't comprised of those three ingredients?"

_(Editor: Actually, it's Swiss and there are very few Swiss meals that aren't comprised of these ingredients, which is how you can tell. Although the word raclette does come from the French verb "racler", meaning to scrape.)_

"Snails, frogsickles and some of their puddings."

Severus pulled a disgusted face as he pulled some cheese and potatoes onto his plate.

"It's all cold," he complained.

"Ah, but not for long," Harry said mysteriously.

He bent down to pull a large stone contraption from a plastic bag near the door.

"In future Potter, please refrain from bending over in those trousers, they do stretch worryingly tight across your backside."

Harry ignored the comment and pulled out a huge stone slab from the bag.

"Potter, even ham and cheese if preferable to a rock."

Harry again ignored him and pulled out a large metal contraption, hearing Severus mutter something that sounded like 'this is getting ridiculous, and proceeded to plug the stove into the wall.

"We put the ham and cheese on mini trays and cook it, then we eat,"

"Potter, we aren't primeval. And why did you have the microwave on?"

"To lull you into a false sense of security."

"I cannot imagine how insecure I would be about you making me fry ham on a rock," Severus said sarcastically, throwing a piece of ham onto the stove to fry, "and why did you get so much cheese?"

"I ordered enough for two people."

"Are you sure you said deux and not dix? Your French skills are questionable."

"I'm sure I said two. I even held up my fingers. Even the Swiss couldn't have got it wrong,"

"Then why is there so much?"

"Maybe it's not a very heavy meal?"

"It's cheese and potato, Potter, how lightweight can it be?"

There was a comfortable silence for a while as they ate their first helping of melted cheese.

"Um, I was thinking, maybe we could call each other by our first names from now on."

"Why would we do that Potter?"

"Because..." Harry said in a parody of the lamest come-back ever.

"I'll tell you what Potter, no first names, that is far too personal, but we won't treat each other like crap from now on. We will respect each other. That means no tying me to the bed, or putting any funny spells on me or telling me what to do."

"This seems a very one-sided deal to me."

"In return I will try not to insult the little intelligence you have and stay here with out being forced."

Purely on the basis that he was sick of getting woken up every morning (not the fact that Severus would no longer insult him, he told himself angrily) Harry agreed.

"Shake," he said holding out his hand.

Severus thought and then shook (it was only a Muggle shake after all).

Harry clasped Severus' hand, and after a slightly prolonged shake, he found himself not wanting to let go. He didn't slip his fingers through the grasp, he merely held it. Severus made no move to let go of Harry either.

Before Harry had realised what he was doing he was leaning towards Severus, his eyes fluttering. Severus' lips parted.

Closer, closer, Harry could smell Severus' breathe, hot spicy and addicting. An inch, less, almost touching.

Harry felt a cold sweep over him

_No not Harry, please, not Harry!_

_Stand aside you silly girl, stand aside, now!_

_Not Harry, please no, take me! Kill me instead – have mercy!_

Screaming and cackling laughter filled Harry's ears as he wrenched his hand from Severus' and ran to the window, white fog swirling all around his vision.

"Did you feel it?"

"What Potter?"

Harry leant out onto the balcony and looked around puzzled, his vision now clear, his senses normal as ever, the echoing voice gone from his head.

"The col... never mind, let's eat."

Harry and Severus spent the rest of their meal in silence, Harry only half wondering about the cold that had crept up his spine.

SSHP SSHP SSHP

A sharp knock at the door broke the silence that Harry and Severus had fallen into.

Harry quickly let the owl holding another letter to Hermione go and went to answer the door.

"Hi," Frizz beamed across the threshold at him, looking, if possible, more bizarre than usual. She was wearing a bright orange bobble hat and a green raincoat over white jeans and leopard print Wellington boots. "Time to go."

Harry pulled on his tight leather jacket and dragged Severus out to the car, trying to ignore his victim's mutterings of 'You're daring to go out with her while she is looking like that?' and 'If I see anyone I know I'll kill you Potter. '

Harry locked the apartment giving Severus no choice but to follow him.

That didn't stop him cringing when he saw what they would be riding in.

A hippie van with neon lights draped around the roof was parked in front of Harry's favourite set of stairs. It was painted pink with baby blue peace symbols sprayed across the bodice.

Harry bundled the protesting Severus into the back and jumped in next to Frizz. The words 'The slash brigade' were emblazoned across the steering wheel.

Harry decided not to ask and resisted the urge to cover his ears as Frizz blasted her music and began to sing as loudly and as out of tune as possible.

They began to swerve off down the mountain. It was the first time Harry had been down since arriving, and he hadn't been paying much attention in the taxi cab. He took his time drinking in the image. The snow glistened in the glare of the headlights on the frozen trees. Harry zoned out completely and stared at the wooden houses whizzing past in a blur of light.

Before he knew it the ground levelled and Frizz sped up along the flat stretch of road. It was empty at first, but he noticed as they went along an increase in the number of cars all driving in the same direction, all turning off at the same road.

They were making their way along a narrow stretch of road, completely black save the head lamps when through the silence (Frizz had turned the music off after Severus had threatened her with a very long pole, a meat shredder and some cacti) (A.N – do what you will with that image) he heard the loud pulsation of music and the underlying chatter of hundreds of people.

"Pretty big party," Harry remarked anxiously.

"It's huge. People come from all over to come to this party. They hold it once a year. It's, like, a special day for the French tomorrow, so everyone gets the whole day off. Therefore everyone throws huge parties because it doesn't matter how tired or hung over they are tomorrow. This one is particularly special as this club has been open for 10 years now. Everyone's going to be there."

"Apart from Toni and Hermione?"

"No, Toni's a DJ and Hermione is her assistant. They're playing tonight."

Frizz pulled her van into the 'Reserved for DJ,' spot near the door and pulled Severus out the back.

She slipped her arms through his and practically dragged him to the front door beckoning Harry behind.

She marched confidently up to the door fumbling in her pockets, despite the huge queue behind her. The bouncer stepped in front of her and raised his eyebrows.

"What are you doing here? This isn't even your type of club. I can't let you in."

"I'm with the DJ," Frizz stated, producing a card from her raincoat.

The bouncer reluctantly let them in, trying to calm some men at the front door complaining.

Frizz led them past more men, then off into a side corridor and up an empty stair case.

"Why aren't there any women here?" asked Severus suspiciously.

"There are, you just haven't seen them yet," she answered confidently, and neither man noticed her pace quicken slightly.

They reached the top of the stair case and Frizz fluffed Harry's hair.

"I've brought you in the exit. The only exit and I'll be here, so no trying to leave throughout the night."

Severus opened his mouth to say something cynical, but he didn't have time as Frizz pushed them both through the door and shut it behind them.

Strobes hit them both and blinded them as music beat against their ears, hot bodies brushing against theirs.

"Now I understand why there weren't any women," Severus growled.

Harry looked around. Huge metal poles reached up to the ceiling and a large neon bar stretched across the opposite wall and all around were men, dancing, drinking, kissing.

Harry's mouth fell open as he watched men clad in lace and leather slide up and down the poles and strut along the bar, cracking whips, running themselves up and down eager men.

"This is the last time I let you talk me into something Potter."

"But... I didn't," Harry spluttered through the music. he tried to finish but was cut across by a loud female voice over the microphone.

"At least there is a woman here." Harry said cheerfully.

"I would be glad, were it not for the fact I'm going to kill her and the only other two girls here."

Harry looked at him blankly.

"That was Toni over the microphone; she is obviously behind this."

"How do you know?"

"Because she always is," Snape replied blankly, "I'm going for a very stiff drink," he said and disappeared into the crowd.

Harry wondered what he should do. He didn't have to wonder long, he felt a hand sliding over his lower back.

"Hey!" a voice shouted in his ear. Harry tuned to see a man that looked to be in his late 20's smoking a cigarette in his stubble surrounded lips. His eyes seemed almost too light for his face, the blue reflecting the strobes back at Harry. A piercing in one of his ears sparkled from underneath his floppy black hair. He wore a plain black shirt over white tee, and plain jeans and black shoes. He looked safe enough.

Harry smiled at him, "Hey," he shouted back.

"Wanna dance?" the man asked through his cigarette.

"Sure," Harry said as he felt the other man's hand slid to his bum and guide him to the dance floor.

They began to beat along to the music, moving rhythmically and sensually.

Harry tried to relax and have fun, but he couldn't, not with this other man.

"I'm Felix."

"Harry." Asking the question had given Felix an excuse to get closer to Harry. Harry noticed his minty tobacco tainted breath wash over him.

Harry tried to get away from Felix's mouth by doing a very extravagant dance move, but found his way blocked by Felix's leg.

Before he knew it Felix had smashed his mouth against his, hot breath washed over Harry as Felix's tongue invaded.

Harry closed his eyes, tried to enjoy it, but he just found himself wishing that it wasn't Felix who he was kissing.

He tried to pull away, he couldn't.

He tried to put his hand on Felix's chest to pull away, but Felix was so involved in the kiss that he didn't notice Harry's attempts.

Harry tried to back away, but found himself pushed against the wall, Felix's hands exploring the contours under his shirt, his arousal pressing into Harry, hot and needy.

Felix was suddenly wrenched from Harry.

"Hey," Felix exclaimed, "who the hell do you think you are?"

"None of your business, and your hospital bill will be none of my business unless you leave now."

Felix grumbled but hunched his back and stalked off.

"Why did you do that?" Harry asked, trying not to show the relief in his voice.

"I saw the group of people that guy was hanging round with passing some white powder round. This night is bad enough Potter; I'm not going to spend the rest of it trying to bail you."

"Oh, okay, thanks I guess."

"We should dance for a bit, or else he'll be back."

Harry smiled, maybe it wasn't the perfect dance, but he could blot out the whys and the therefores. It didn't matter. He would be with Severus.

SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP

"Were there actually any drugs?" Toni asked Hermione over the roar of their music.

"No, I saw them earlier, but they smoke."

"You say it like it's a crime."

"It should be."

Toni sighed, but smiled smugly. The plan was working.

"I risked everything bringing them here you know. There were so many variables it was almost bound to go wrong."

"I know Toni; you explained them all in great detail on the way here. You proved your point a long time ago."

"I know I proved it in the van, and now I'm just rubbing it in."

"I would hit you, but those mixing headphones are expensive."

"You love me really."

"Sometimes I wonder."

"Anyway, I can only see the plan going really wrong from now if Harry goes to the bathroom and actually takes note of what is in there."

"You just had to say that didn't you, Toni," sighed Hermione, pointing at Harry who was tottering towards the men's restroom.

Toni's eyes widened considerably, then she relaxed. "He looked like he was having fun, he'll be right out."

But ten minutes later they watched in horror as Severus followed Harry.

SSHP SSHP SSHP SSHP

"Interesting, isn't it Potter?"

Harry looked around in to see Severus right next to his ear looking over his shoulder.

"Um, I was just, well, coming out. Do you want to go back out again?"

"Did you like what you saw?" Severus ignored Harry.

"What?" Harry feigned innocence.

"You know what I mean," Severus said, pointing at the two men against the wall.

"Well, it was interesting," Harry spluttered.

"Let me show you how it's done," Severus cut across Harry and pushed him roughly into a cubicle.

_(Editor: Prudes: now is the time to scroll)_

Severus' mouth was on his neck, biting and sucking at the skin before Harry knew what was going on.

Harry tried to protest, but Severus' hands exploring his back and thighs seemed to leave him mute.

Severus' hand's reached for his zipper, yanking it down, roughly pushing Harry's boxer's aside.

Harry realized how limply he was standing there, and tried to do something, but Severus stopped him. Harry tried to kiss Severus, just to show a sign of response; but Severus pushed him roughly back against the cubicle door, grinding him against the hard plastic.

Harry felt Severus rub his own body down Harry's lower, fast and furious.

Severus knelt before Harry, his breathing hot and heavy dancing over Harry's skin, his tongue swirling and riding over Harry's tip.

Harry groaned and arched his back against the wall as Severus took his whole shaft into his mouth, furiously pumping Harry into him.

White sparks danced before Harry's eyes as he tried to jut his hips forward into Severus, but Severus was holding him fast.

Severus tongue danced around Harry making him whimper and writhe against the wall, his hot breath sending Harry crazy.

Severus nails grated along his thighs and teeth scraped his prick.

With a final cry Harry came into Severus mouth.

Severus immediately got off the floor and spat into the toilet.

He leant against Harry and pushed him against the wall, staring him in the eye, their lips inches apart.

"Now God forbid, Potter, I'll be able to get you out of my head," he whispered and swept out of the cubicle and away.

_**I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update, and I can't promise an update next week, but after that it looks like my time is becoming available more frequently. So hopefully after that I will update more regularly.**_

_**Although I have little time, the fact that I have just as little reviews isn't really an incentive to write. I know it's a pain, but out of all the 100 alert lists I'm on you would think I would be getting AT LEAST 30 reviews per chapter, not 12.**_

_**Another thing about reviews- fan fiction has been blocked at school now, so my lovely editor will be replying to any reviews (if any) I happen to get. So it will still be me talking, it may just take longer for the reply to come through.**_

_**Anyway I will be updating as soon as I can, be patient and generous.**_

_**Jiggy**_


	16. Another Bad Day

Harry rolled over and groaned as he gained consciousness.

He remembered drink, a lot of it.

He groaned again and racked his memories for what had happened yesterday. The last thing he remembered was Severus leaving him in the bathroom.

_Harry slid down the cubicle wall._

_What had Severus meant? Harry barely dared to believe that it meant Severus had been thinking about Harry as much as he had been thinking about him._

_But what if Severus never wanted him like that again, and now Harry had had Severus near him he craved more. If Severus had meant what he had done why had he left like that?_

_Harry left the bathroom, his heart balancing precariously on his emotional tightrope._

_The second he left and saw Severus his heart fell and plummeted to the region of his toes._

_Severus had another man pinned to the wall. They were kissing fiercely and neither pair of hands could be seen as they were fumbling under clothing._

_Harry looked at the ceiling and blinked. He hated it when bits of dust got in his eye._

_He had no one to talk to, he didn't want to dance with anyone else, he didn't want to even get close. He could still feel Severus' breath tingling on his skin._

_He sauntered over to the bar and got a drink of whiskey. He downed it and got another, and another._

Harry's memory began to get fuzzy after that. He racked his memory.

Maybe a few more drinks.

_He stumbled over to Hermione, a drink clutched in both hands._

"_How's it goin'?" he slurred._

"_Good," Hermione replied, "People loved the music; we've already been invited to 5 more gigs. Enjoying yourself?"_

"_Having time of me life," Harry hiccupped._

_He looked across the room; Severus was with a new guy, dancing close to him in the middle of the dance floor. Harry could almost see their body friction._

"_What have you done so far?" asked Hermione._

Had she been probing? Harry was too drunk at the time to tell.

"_Drinking, dancing," Harry said absently, his concentration wondering as he tried to figure out where the stranger ended and Severus began._

_A man approached the DJ desk. Toni removed her mixing headphones and bent down to talk to him._

"_Do you have 'Push the Button'?" he shouted over the music._

"_What was that?" Toni shouted back, "I can't hear you,"_

"_Sugarbabes – Push the Button!" he shouted again._

"_Lostprophets – 'For all these times?' Great choice sir," Toni smiled at him._

_The man tried to say something but Toni had put her headphones back on. He turned to Hermione but she seemed to have gone mysteriously deaf._

_He turned away looking slightly disgruntled. He was immediately picked up by Severus, who had moved on again._

"_She suffers from selective deafness, poor girl," Hermione told Harry, "And I'm sure it's not healthy for a man to go through that many orgasms in this amount of time," Hermione continued nodding at Severus._

_Harry tried not to look too bothered, but turned away to get another drink._

It could have been his drunken mind but he could have sworn he heard a 'yes' and a slap of hand behind his back, but when he turned around Toni was mixing again and Hermione was flicking through the CD rack.

All he remembered after that was Severus, dancing, drinking, against the wall, going to the bathroom, with countless men.

Harry buried his head in the pillow and waited for his headache to settle enough to get up.

SSHP SSHP SSHP

Harry was making a strong cup of coffee when the door bell rang.

He slouched over to it and yanked it open, glaring at Frizz on the threshold.

"Oh, you're up. I thought you might still have a hang over. Not that I called to spite you or anything. It's just that I was wondering if you wanted to go skiing with me, but not, you know, if you still have a hang over. But if you don't I thought it would be fun to go together again, because it was quite fun last time, well, I thought it was, I don't know if you did,.

"Yes, I'll come," said Harry quickly before she could continue. He needed to get out, to clear his head.

"So what did you think of the party last night?" asked Frizz as Harry pulled on some trousers and grabbed his skis, "I mean, like, apart from the fact it got you that headache this morning – apart from that did you have a good time?"

"I don't know."

"What kind of answer is that?"

"I don't know," Harry slammed the apartment door and they started toward the ski lift.

"What's up, Harry? You're so down. You're thinking about something."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. If you had your mind on the present you wouldn't have let me watch you get dressed, you would have fussed like a little girl."

"I am not like a girl."

"And there will be no distracting me either. I promise I won't go off on a rant in the middle."

"Leave me alone! I want to keep it to myself, back off!" Harry shouted at her, stopping in his tracks.

"Let's play a game," Frizz turned around and grinned at him.

Harry was thrown but continued to walk beside her.

"It's a 'What do you think?' game. I say a word and you say what you think of it, and then you say a word and I say what I think. It's a good way of getting to know each other better."

Harry narrowed his eyes, but didn't say anything.

"I'll start... what do you think of... Lord of the Rings?"

Harry thanked his lucky stars for his Muggle upbringing. Maybe this would keep Frizz at bay, plus it might be quite fun. He would just have to be carful not to let any magical words slip.

"Overrated, but still quite good. What do you think of ... Kids?

"Unrivalled pain. Dogs?"

"A force to be reckoned with." Harry had never forgotten the time Aunt Marge's dog had chased him up a tree, "What about rugby?"

"Lots of muscled men running around in tight shorts trying to jump on top of each other. Paris Hilton?"

Harry racked his brain, that name had been quite recent... where had he heard it?

"No, I take that back, I want to ask you a different question."

Harry made a silent prayer in his mind.

"What do you think of Toni?"

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

"Hey, no fair!"

"Oh yes it is."

"I don't want to play!"

"Go figure. You can't be that much of a wimp, can you?"

"I will not be called a wimp."

"You just were."

"I'm not a wimp."

"Prove it,.

What harm can it do? Harry asked himself.

"She's funny for sure, and daring, but sometimes you wonder whether it is safe to be near her. Same question right back at you."

"She can be quite mean, but I suppose you have to know when she's joking, but I've never been able to read her, like what she really thinks or feels you know what I mean, like, she'll always express an opinion but I… I don't really know what I'm trying to say- she's a bit like Severus."

"Do the answers have to be that in depth?"

"I just wanted to see if you've noticed the same thing."

"Well, I didn't notice, but now you come to mention it I think you're right. Two Severus's though, I shudder at the thought."

Frizz grinned, "Anyway moving on, what do you think of Hermione?"

"She has a sense of humour but doesn't make that many jokes other people get. I think she would rather curl up in an armchair for a year than stand near the edge of a cliff and when I'm around her I feel as if I'm wrapped in very tight cotton wool. She's the kind of person who would make her children wear helmets in case they bumped their head. Basically the exact opposite of Toni. In depth enough for you?"

"Just about. I guess you're firing the question right back?"

Harry nodded.

"She's so nice, such a sweetie. I only really see her lose her rag with Toni, if you can call it losing it. She kinda wears her heart on her sleeve too, like you Harry, only not quite to your stupid extent,"

Harry let the stupid comment slide, after all it was true."

"Really? I don't think she does."

"I mean she shows her feeling but she doesn't give them out. Like she is wearing her heart on her sleeve only it's chained there."

"Yes, I can see what you mean by that."

"Anyway, now we're into a good old bitching session let's get on and finish it off – what about Severus?"

Why not? thought Harry. Might as well now.

"I hate him but I don't."

"Wow, Harry, I was so confused before but you've cleaned it all up now."

"Okay then, so what do you think of him?"

"He's a man full of mystery and he's a really nice guy when he's not saying anything."

"You're almost as good as describing him as I am."

"I'm sorry, Harry, but no one can beat the description you gave back there."

"Fine, I'll try again... his eyes are really deep, sometime I think I could just fall into them, and the things he says, even when he's trying to be mean he can make me laugh, or feel better. Sometime just seeing he makes my heart skip a beat because now I can forget other stuff when I'm around him. I wasn't going to tell anyone this, but I think me..."

_No, not Harry, please, not Harry!_

_Stand aside you silly girl, stand aside, now!_

_Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead – have mercy!_

Harry felt cold hit him in the face. He was shaking as his eyes shot open, lying in the snow.

"Harry? What's up?"

"Just forgot to take some pills I was supposed to be taking, and I'm still feeling a bit hung over. You do a couple of runs by yourself then come and get me."

"Oh, okay,"

Frizz strode off and got on the ski lift.

Harry dropped his skis and poles. He took off his heavy boots and threw them down and he ran back towards his apartment.

What was that black shape he'd seen in the window? The frosting glaze over the glass gave him a pretty good idea. What if they had found Severus? He had been out when Harry got up this morning, but he might have come back, and with no wand...

Harry sprinted even faster. He ran up the steps and into the stone hall outside his room. He ripped off his socks because they were know caked in snow and making him slip.

He fumbled the keys and ripped the door open, and stopped in his tracks.

Sprawled on the floor was Severus, a small trail of blood dripping from his mouth onto the stone, his black eyes cold and glassy.

Harry was by his side in a second, his hand frantically searching for any sign of life, a pulse, a heart beat.

None.

Harry whipped around as he heard the door creak.

"Mr Potter, how have you been?" came the unmistakable drawl of Lucius Malfoy from the shadows.

_**Who's the evil bitch who leaves horrible cliffies?**_

_**Sorry for bugging you all about reviews before, just been pretty stressed out, but I would just like to say a huge thank you to my reviewers. You have made a very mad old lady a very happy mad old lady.**_

_**Another sorry. Sorry this chapter took so long to upload, I was very busy before, and then I stopped being so busy and I got ill so I couldn't write. I can't promise anything, but the updates should be more frequent now.**_

_**Anyway hoped you liked the chapter (I know I bloody didn't).**_


	17. It Just Keeps Getting Better

"Expelliamus!" Harry's wand shot out of his hand. "Petrificus Totalus!" Harry's arms snapped to his side as he fell to the floor.

"You should have checked the room before entering Mister Potter. I thought that would have been the first thing someone like you would have thought of," Lucius taunted, as a Death Eater passed him Harry's wand, "or maybe you were a bit distracted?" Lucius smirked at Harry as he twiddled his wand between his fingers.

Harry's eyes flicked around the room. There were Death Eaters appearing everywhere, some out of rooms, some apparating.

But where were the dementors? The cold that had washed over him while he was with Frizz, his mother's voice, the frost on the window.

"You may be wondering where the Dementors are," Harry's eyes flicked back to Lucius. "I can tell by the way you are looking at any surface that might have been frozen over. And in answer to your question, they aren't here. We used one to lure you back to the apartment, but that one is now gone, returned to the battle in England. Which reminds me, we should get on. We wouldn't want to miss watching Potter's followers fall down one by one now would we?"

There was a collective murmuring among the Death Eaters, some harsh short barks of laugher.

"Avery, McKinnon, get the girls from the other room."

Harry tried not to let his eyes widen in horror as the two men pulled Toni and Hermione roughly out of the closet with no purpose.

"You know these two then," drawled Lucius.

They were tied in Muggle ropes. Toni's bottom lip was bleeding and Hermione rested her weight only on her right foot as if something had been done to the other leg.

"We didn't see the point in magical bonds for useless Muggles," sneered Lucius, his eyes narrowing. "Cut the ropes, I want Potter to have to watch as they both writhe with pain. I want him to know it is all his fault."

_Please don't try and run, please don't try and run, _Harry pleaded with them silently, _There is no chance of escape, they'll catch you, and you may die, and it'll be all my fault. Just stay put and they might let you go._

Harry heard a gruff 'Relashio' and all hell broke lose.

The closest hooded Death Eater buckled to the ground as Toni's foot connected with his groin; another Death Eater went flying as Hermione shoved him to one side and made a beeline for Severus; another Death Eater down as Toni shoved her fingers into his eyes.

The Death Eaters began to get their bearings and realise what was happening, but it was too late, Hermione reached out for Severus and grabbed hold of his arm.

Severus immediately changed from himself into a woman.

Blonde hair lengthened and his features turned more feminine. Hermione stared at the form as she morphed and changed, her eyes staring cold and empty back at Hermione -Toni, lying motionless on the floor. Hermione's eyes widened and her hand shot to her mouth. From her already precarious position she fell back with a horrible crack onto the tiles.

Toni hit the Death Eater's neck with the flat of her hand, before she herself could be hit.

"Reducto!" with a loud bang Toni flew backwards and slammed against the wall. She fell down and with a most sickening crunch slumped behind the table, where Harry couldn't see her.

"Crucio!" Lucius shrieked. Hermione writhed and shrieked with pain, clawing at her own skin, convulsing and twisting.

Lucius lifted his wand, and Hermione fell still, apart from her shaking.

"Oh, and I was so tempted to keep them alive too. We have needed a house elf ever since you forced Dobby to leave us, Potter."

But Harry was only half listening; he was staring at the Toni lying dead on the floor. What was it? A crude spell on an object to make it turn into someone you know - dead?

He didn't have much more time to ponder.

With a huge shriek Toni was up from behind the table launching herself at Lucius, her hands secured around his neck. They toppled over and Toni brought her knee and pressed Lucius' stomach hard. Lucius began to turn purple.

"No, we might hit Lucius!" shouted a Death Eater as his fellows raised their wands. In an instant Death Eaters were converging on them. Toni was kicked off Lucius and toppled over, knocking her dead counterpart in the process.

The dead Toni immediately morphed into a dead Hermione, her eyes lifeless, blood dripping from a hole in her chest. Both Hermiones were kicked aside as the Death Eaters attacked Toni.

Lucius slowly picked himself up and straightened his robes, "Enough!" he raised his hand to still the Death Eaters.

They backed off to the wall of the room, leaving Toni shaking in a heap.

"Aww," sneered Lucius, "What to do now, nowhere to go, nothing to do?"

Toni gasped and(,) blood splattered from her mouth onto the floor as she stood, "Don't do that to Hermione again."

"What was that?" asked Lucius, shoving his face up to hers, showing off his best sneer, "I couldn't hear you through that fat lip you have."

"I said – Don't do that to Hermione again, you bastard," Lucius head whipped to the side as she slapped him.

"Hm," Lucius touched his cheek where she had slapped him "I won't... but you will." Toni's brow crinkled in confusion, "Pretificus Totalus," Toni keeled over and lay still.

"Get rid of it, we can no longer use it," Lucius waved his hand at the closest Death Eater, "Then we'll show them what pain really means,"

The Death Eater advanced. He paused for a second, looking between the two Hermiones.

He chose the one furthest from Harry and reached for her. He was just about to grab her arm when her hand shot out and twisted his wrist back with a sickening crack. The Death Eater screamed.

"How dare you hurt Toni!" shouted Hermione. She lunged for his legs and barrel rolled into him, sending him flying. He landed with thud. Hermione twisted his nose which emitted another crack, just as Lucius shouted "Avada Kedava," The Death Eater she was attacking bucked, and blocked the path between the spell and her.

"Avad Ke-"

"No," Lucius once again held up his hand, "After this, I want to cause them both as much pain as possible. Petrificus Totalus."

Hermione also keeled onto the floor.

"Between them what damage have they managed to perform?"

The Death Eaters made their way to their fallen comrades and examined them.

"The brown haired one shoved McNair into the table- his rib's broken, and she made you kill Parkinson. The blonde one de fertilised Smith, Weasley can't see a thing, and Chang isn't breathing."

"Right," Lucius rolled up the sleeves of his robes, "I'm going to make them suffer every bit of pain they have caused. Shunpike, get rid of that Boggart."

Stan advanced and touched the 'dead' Hermione. She immediately turned into a werewolf.

"Riddikulus," mumbled Stan, the werewolf was suddenly wearing a pink bonnet and matching cape, Stan let out a bark like laugh and the wolf in drag disappeared in a puff of lilac smoke.

_A boggart! When did I get more scared of Severus dying than a Dementor? Why would I be scared of him dying? I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. These past few weeks with him have messed up my head. I don't know what to think. I hate him._

"You'll know what I mean now," Lucius snarled at the motionless Toni, "I won't be doing anything to her, but _you_ will. Finite Incantatem. Imperio." Toni was released from her bindings, but she immediately went rigid under Lucius' spell. "Now I'll show you what I can do."

A smile spread across Lucius lips' as, with a flick of his eyelids Toni started moving across the room towards Hermione, tears streaming down her face, her hand reaching for a knife out of the kitchen draw.

SSHP

Frizz swung her legs back and forth with the movement of the chair on the lift. She didn't believe for one moment that Harry had gone back to his apartment because of his hangover.

Something was wrong. Toni and Hermione missing in the morning, she had gone to the boulangerie to try and find Hermione, and had been told there that Hermione hadn't turned up for work that morning. She had gone to the ski school at lesson change over to try and catch Toni, but had been told that Toni hadn't turned up for any of her lessons either.

She had gone to Harry's, he had been there, but then collapsed in the snow, mumbling out for 'him not to kill her'.

There was definitely something wrong.

Fizz thought back to this morning. She had noticed something out of place that morning, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Frizz pulled off her gloves to apply her lip salve.

Ha! There was someone going for the black ski jump again – she loved to watch people go over that thing. No, fall over it.

She leant forward in her set to get another look, stuffing her lip salve back in her pocket.

The skier flew over the jump, crossing his skis in mid jump. And failing to un-cross them, pulling his skis off when he landed and sending him straight into the trees.

Frizz jeered him and pulled her scarf up around her mouth- it had suddenly gone colder.

The skier dragged himself out of the trees; Frizz banged her hands down on the bar and hooted at him.

She sat back in her seat, having had her fun, and pulled her hand away from the bar, the frost peeling off and sticking to her hand.

Frost?

It hadn't been cold enough to frost these past few days, she remembered Toni complaining about how none of the stupid skiers fell over anymore because it wasn't cold enough for slippery frost.

And... this morning, the frost on Harry's window, and on Toni and Hermione's door handle. Only it had been no where else.

I have to find Severus, Frizz thought as she slid off the ski lift. She skidded to a halt to put on her gloves, pondering about where she should look.

"...Severus Snape, why wasn't he in Potter's apartment?"

"I told you, I don't know anything. Lucius just said we need to find the real Snape. He wasn't at the apartment where we expected him to be."

"How do you know he's still on the mountain, he could be in Africa for all we know."

"Lucius found his wand in Potter's apartment, he ain't going any where. Now stop jabbering and look at the map."

"What are we going to do with him once we found him?"

"I told you, I don't know, but after his betrayal to the Dark Lord it ain't gonna be pretty."

"I hope we get to watch what Lucius does to him, and to Potter. Let's find Snape quick so we can get back and have some fun. I think we should start in Sixt. Come on."

The two clad in black behind Frizz skied away and left her desperate.

Wands? Dark Lords? And who was this Lucius guy? He didn't sound like the kind of guy you'd invite round for a cup of tea and a slice of cake. And what had Severus and Harry done to get a hit team after them?

It didn't matter, she needed to warn Severus, and tell him about everyone going missing.

Now where to look?

If only she knew where Severus...

Frizz raised her eyes to the heavens and stared angrily at some birds flying over, shitting on peoples heads.

That was it!

Severus hated birds, he avoided them when ever he could, Frizz remembered him telling her. And the sign for Flaine was a bird because there were no birds in Flaine because it was too cold on that side of the mountain in winter.

Yes! Now that she thought about it, Severus loved Cafe Bleu in Flaine, he went out of his way to have lunch there.

If I hurry, thought Frizz, I'll be in Flaine by lunch.

She knew it was a long shot, but what else did she have to go on?

She set off in the opposite direction to the men who had left earlier. They were probably faster skiers than her, but at least she was going in the right direction.

_**What do you think of my awesome up-dating skills? .:Applauds self:.**_

_**I hope you like this chapter. I wasn't sure about it because this is my first time writing anything like this, although I think it isn't bad for a first try.**_

_**A HUGE thank you to my reviewers, you make my life worth living. I'm very sorry if I haven't replied to your reviews, it's because Hermione was replying before because Fan Fiction was blocked at school and I couldn't get online, but now its unblocked and I am replying again. There was a bit of confusion in the crossover, we think we replied to them all but we aren't sure. If not very sorry.**_

_**I suppose we should applaud my editor for making this legible.:Half hearted applause:. Anyway I'll update a soon as I can!**_


	18. Severus and his Pink Bobble Hat

_French in Italics because my editor nor I could translate._

One more run to go… half a run… almost there…

Frizz could see people leaving the cafe after a leisurely lunch as she speed toward them, her knees aching from the strain. Her legs felt as if they were about to collapse.

Frizz ducked lower. She had to go faster, lunch was well over and Severus could have already left- probably had. The line of people leaving the cafe was thinning more and more as it emptied its contents onto the slope.

Frizz pointed her skis into snowplough a few meters up the slope so she could see over the heads of the crowd, searching for his unique black hair.

There! That was him, just boarding off over the slope. Off course it was, Severs and Toni where the only ones that could wear a short-sleeved top in minus 10 degrees Celsius.

Frizz uncrossed her skis and pelted down after him. It would take a lot to catch him – if she could do it at all.

She flew over the crown of the hill, she couldn't see Severus, but there was only one way to go and she would have to hope that there were no turn offs further on. She hadn't been over this side of the mountain before, and she didn't know what to expect.

Breathing hard, her knees about to collapse, Frizz still kept going. She knew she couldn't be going that fast as there were people passing her without effort, but to her it felt like she could go to the moon and back in seconds.

"Severus!" she shouted as she spun round the corner- there he was at the front of the lift queue.

Bollocks! She would never get to him, and even if she did, he wouldn't be able to get out of the queue, and she wouldn't get in it because she didn't have the right lift pass.

"Severus!"

"Severus!"

No reply, he didn't even glance at her.

Suddenly the cold washed over Frizz again.

That's it, Frizz thought, one thing to do. Harry, Toni and Hermione are in trouble, I know it.

Frizz made a bee line for the lift hut. She flicked her skis off and ran in, just as Severus prepared to sit on the lift.

There was a board covered in tons of little levers and knobs, and a huge red button in the centre.

Frizz looked around frantically and hit the small green button in the top left of the board (A/N My Story will not be cliché!). She heard a prolonged whirring noise then a loud bang and the lift wobbled and jolted, then stopped.

The skiers were looking around quite worriedly as Frizz jumped out of the shack and ran for Severus.

"Severus!" he looked around and spotted her looking quite puzzled.

"What are you doing, you fool! If you had wanted to talk you just had to ask, that was extremely dramatic and unnecessary."

"I was trying but..." Frizz couldn't get much further as an angry Frenchman cut across her.

"_What are you doing pissing about with the lift? You stupid little girl, you've exploded the interior of the mechanism, this lift will be out of service for a week, and I won't get paid, plus I'll have to pay for buses to get these people back to their resort!"_ the man was red in the face, drowning Frizz in spit.

"_I'm sorry, so sorry_," Frizz stammered, as the man raged and threw his arms about.

"What's going on?" Severus shouted over him.

"I'm being reprimanded for breaking the lift," Frizz yelled back as Severus climbed over the rope barrier and made his way towards them.

"Leave this to me," he said, stopping in front of them. Severus turned to the Frenchman and flung his arm around his shoulders, _"Let's talk about this my good man,"_ he began to say, steering the man to the back of the hut.

Frizz followed, wondering what the hell Severus was up to.

"_Wait a minute,"_ Severus said, bringing the man to a halt behind the back of the hut. He turned to Frizz, "What's going on? I didn't think you were the type to break a lift to catch up with someone."

"It's just something weird's going on."

"With Potter, Toni and Hermione around what do you expect?"

"No, even weirder than usual. There was frost on Harry's window, and Toni and Hermione's door knob!"

"Please don't say you did this to tell me that! It's the middle of winter- of course there is going to be frost around, you imbecile!"

"But it isn't cold enough for frost," Frizz cut across Severus in his tirade of insults, "and I was just getting off the lift and I heard two men talking- they said they were told to find you, and they mentioned some guy named Lucius Malfoy,"

At that name Severus stopped looking irritated and gave her his full attention, "and they said something about you were going to be punished for a betrayal to some dark dude."

"Why didn't you mention that before, you idiot! Didn't betrayal and "Dark Dudes" sound slightly more important than frost on a door knob?!"

"Well, I thought it was a bit weird, they all sounded like they were on crack to me. I thought this Lucius character sounds like a pimp! What would you think if someone said 'I want to be around when I see what happens to him,'- it just sounds really dirty!"

Severus looked at her like she was insane and opened his mouth to answer, but was distracted by the pudgy French man waving his arms around shouting French profanities.

"Fine," sighed Severus, "There isn't much I can do now."

He turned to the French man and pointed a wooden stick at him. "Obliviate," shouted Snape, waving the stick around.

"What the fuck are you doing?" asked Frizz hoarsely.

"Never you mind," Severus told her. He then addressed the Frenchman "You will go back to your hut and announce that thee has been a small glitch in the system, but the lift is now fine – nothing to worry about. You will then forget that you ever saw us – _compris_?"

"Severus, I don't think he is going to do what you say just because you're waving a stick at him..."

"Oh don't worry, he will," and with that the Frenchman turned around and headed back into his little shack.

Frizz opened her mouth.

"Come here," Severus said, as he faced Frizz and grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Whoa!" shouted Frizz, staggering backyards as the shack's intercom crackled to life, "I don't like you in that way!"

"It's not like that," said Severus livid, "Shrink your ego a bit!" He pointed his sick at the lift, "Reparo!"

"What the hell are you doing now?" demanded Frizz.

"No time now, just accept it and move on, come." And with that Severus grabbed hold of Frizz's arm and suddenly she was starring at Number two... Harry's apartment.

"What...ha...who..woo..." Frizz stammered, doing a marvellous impression of a goldfish.

"As I said, no time. I suspect something I've suspected for a while... all those letters, those damn owls- that's what did it. But at least I had the sense to take my wand while he wasn't looking. I knew he would find me here eventually, but not this soon. Stupid Potter, it's all his fault. Everything is his fault," Severus muttered to himself.

"Severus," said Frizz, touching him on the shoulder – this was a dream after all so she could risk decapitation.

"Alright, I have a plan."

"Great," said Frizz, trying to sound enthusiastic and wondering what the heck they were supposed to be aiming for with this plan anyway.

"All you have to do is stay outside, unnoticed and out of trouble. Only come in if I call you, then all you have to do is grab the nearest one out of Hermione and Toni and get out of there. I'll handle Potter and Malfoy."

"Okay, simple enough."

"It sounds it, but I must warn you, they may kill you. Are you willing to risk that? This isn't a dream, Frizz." The look Severus gave her told Frizz he was being serious, warning her, "You don't have to do this if you don't dare." Frizz had never heard Severus's voice so soft.

"No, I can do it," Frizz nodded.

"Okay, then I'm going to ask you to drink this," Severus produced a vial from his inside his trouser pocket, "Don't be shocked."

Frizz took the vial and downed it.

"Is this alcohol to make me less scared or something?" There was a tingling at the back of Frizz's head.

"Just ignore the pain," Severus said. Frizz looked at him inquisitively, but couldn't ask him about it before she collapsed on the floor. Her skin felt like it was boiling, bubbling, burning off her skin. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

The pain began to subside, and Frizz straightened up. She had grown, she could look Severus in the eye without having to look up now. Frizz felt her trousers slipping down and grabbed at them; she looked down to see what was wrong.

Her hands were white and long. Her slender fingers ended in masculine nails. Frizz peered under her shirt to find out what was wrong with her hips. She gasped, they seemed to have shrunk. They were white and slender and... very manly.

Frizz pulled at her waist band to see how much room there was and quickly shut her trousers as she saw how loose her underwear was and what was under them.

"What have you done to me?" Frizz demanded.

"You are now a perfect replica of me."

"Yep, all over."

"If you didn't want to see you shouldn't have looked down there."

"I didn't know I was going to have gonads!"

"You seem to assume I'm happy about you looking at my penis."

"What? How can this be yours? And for that matter why do I have one anyway?"

"It's a this special liquid I've used, you now look exactly the same as me – bar your clothes, now I come to think of it – we'd better change those too. Lucius won't be fooled if I stumble in wearing a pink bobble hat and bright orange trousers."

"But how..."

"I'll explain to you when we get time, now go look in Toni's room for clothes – while I figure out the rest of the plan."

"Why Toni's r still oom ?– she isn't that skinny."

"No – but a lot of the people she brings home are – they're bound to have left something that will fit you in your current state, and make it black or you'll never pass for me."

"But how am I supposed to change?"

"It's quite easy, Frizz."

"No... I mean... this underwear is the wrong size," Frizz started to whisper "I can see everything."

"Well, as you loudly pointed out earlier, you don't like me, and as I am eloquently admitting now, I don't swing your way."

"Fine," grumbled Frizz, "I'll be right back and I will try not to look."

Frizz pushed open Toni and Hermione's door and made her way in. It was weird being so high above the ground.

She pushed her way into Toni's room and searched through the mess. She found some black skinny jeans, a leather jacket that didn't do up and some black converses in roughly Severus's size.

Frizz made her way back out. Severus's mouth dropped open.

"I don't dress like that," he explained angrily.

"There was nothing else, and shouldn't you be more worried about Harry than what I'm wearing?"

"We would know if something had happened."

"How?

"Trust me we would know, but I think the time is running out.

I have a plan, just stay out here, and when I shout for you come in. I'll call you Severus by the way, and if they point wands at you don't be scared – just make a sarcastic comment and it'll be fine."

"That's not reassuring – I'm not in a hurry to die Severus."

"Neither am I, but I promise you, Frizz, if they've hurt Harry I'll kill them all."

And with a quick glance to make sure Frizz couldn't be seen Severus opened the door and stepped inside, drawing his wand.

"Severus, how nice of you to join us," came the elegant drawl of Lucius Malfoy.

_**Yay, I'm quite fond of this chapter, much fun. I especially like the third from last line, it was so fantastic I made myself excited. (I'm just joking – my ego isn't that big)**_

_**Anyway – I know this is a bit late but – better late than never.**_

_**Thank you again to all my fantastic reviewers, you actually have the ability to make my week, thank you.**_

_**Applause to my beautiful editor, and to Frizz, who despite the random magic and emotions thrown at her in this chapter, still managed to keep her head.**_


	19. The Absolute

"Lucius," Severus curtly nodded his head at the other man.

"It's nice to see you after so long, I've missed you," Lucius drew back his lips in a parody of a simpering smile.

"I did always have a way with you Malfoy," Snape chided, raising his eyebrow and wand to Lucius.

"Yes, and with so many others too," Lucius sneered cocking his head at Snape as the rest of the Death Eaters raised their wands to him.

Severus drank in the scene. The Death Eaters blocked the balcony and stood all the way around the walls. In the middle of the floor were Toni and Hermione. Toni had Hermione's arm twisted in a lock, her other hand holding a knife to her best friend's throat. Lucius stood nearest him, only about two meters with Harry lying paralysed at his feet. Harry appeared to be trying to tell him something: his eyes were twitching and looking round, first at Lucius, then himself, then whizzing up and down, twitching some more and then going back to Malfoy.

Severus averted his eyes. If he looked at Potter for too long Lucius might figure out what was going on.

Severus had a few options:

He could kill Lucius on the spot. The slight drawback with this plan was that he, Toni, Hermione and Harry would all be killed instantly afterwards by the other Death Eaters.

He could turn his wand on Harry and kill him, thereby convincing the Death Eaters he was on their side. Frizz wouldn't need to be involved, and he could probably get Toni or Hermione out, but probably not both.

He could turn his wand on any of his allies in the room and apparate them out, thereby causing the rest to be left for torture, and probably resulting in not being released either.

There was little he could do. All the plans involved someone getting hurt. His plans were limited, and so was his time.

"Why did you come back, Lucius? You could have stayed out of Azkaban if you kept your head down."

Distraction was his only option for the moment.

"Voldemort returned once, he will return again. And I don't fancy seeing the position traitors like you will be in when he does."

"What happened at the last battle?"

"Oh yes, I had forgotten you ran away, Severus."

Severus bit back his retort and almost choked. He saw the pleasure spread across Malfoy's face, even with Severus' wand pointed at his chest.

"We began, we fought and many were killed. My Lord disappeared into the trees with Potter; we all knew what was going to happen, so we were shocked when Potter came out of the trees and our Lord did not. The spineless scum in our group began to flee. Eventually there were so few of us we were forced to retreat and re-group. Now we will finish what our Lord started and keep his enemies at bay while we wait for his return."

"What happened in the forest?" Snape asked. He had been curious about this ever since Harry had almost accidentally mentioned it, but had not been able to find out the details as Harry would either burst into tears or a huge bout of whistling that lasted an hour or so, during which he ignored everything.

"The Dark Lord used Inferi, but not just the normal puppets; he used Harry's parents."

Severus quickly looked at Harry, who was staring determinedly at the floor, blinking manically.

"None of us ever found out what really happened. Maybe you should ask Potter himself as you seem to have become so close," Malfoy leered, kicking Harry's side. A trickle of blood ran out of Harry's mouth and ran down his cheek.

But, that kick hadn't been hard enough to draw blood from the lungs ... unless Harry's mouth had moved and...

Severus now knew what Harry had been trying to tell him.

Hermione let out a small whimper after having had her arm held fast for so long.

"Ah, I almost forgot about you," snarled Lucius turning his gaze towards the pair.

He flicked his wand, Toni jerked and Hermione's arm snapped. She let out an earpiercing scream, tears springing forth, glossing over her eyes.

"Whoops," Lucius laughed as he forced Toni to throw Hermione to the floor and grind her foot into her friend's broken arm.

"Stop it!" shouted one of the Death Eaters, rushing to pull the two girls apart.

"What's wrong with you?" snarled Lucius.

"I won't stand here on watch while you torture these Muggles."

"What does it matter to you?"

"They're helpless, let them go."

Malfoy opened his mouth but was cut across by Toni.

"We aren't helpless, and we certainly don't you sick people like you to help us. There is a lot more to us than meets the eye. You wizards think you know everything. Well, you don't!"

Lucius cackled at her, "And you do, I suppose."

"A lot more than you think."

"I don't suppose you know what I can do with this?"

"I have a pretty good idea after what you just made me do, you fucking bastard!"

"Did you know I could do this?"

Lucius pointed his wand at the interfering Death Eater, "Avada Kadavra."

The Death Eater went ridged and collapsed on the floor; her hood fell to reveal a shock of violet hair.

"She never did want to join the Death Eaters, but thought I could tell her where that beast Lupin was," Lucius shook his head. "I knew I should have killed her at the start. We could have used an Aura on our side too; pity Tonks was such a disappointment."

Lucius turned his gaze back to Toni, who showed him no emotion.

"Very impressive, but did you know I could do this?"

A knife shot out the kitchen draw and stuck in Lucius' back.

Lucius let out a piercing scream as Severus shouted, "Now Severus!" and complete pandemonium broke loose.

Frizz ran trough the door and grabbed the unconscious Hermione and struggled toward the door.

Harry grabbed Lucius' legs and tackled him to the ground, causing him to hit his head on the counter. Ruby blood mixed with his silver hair spread on the floor.

Many of the Death Eaters tried to help Lucius, some immediately apparated away. Those nearest Tonks and Toni, who had fallen to the ground after Lucius' spell on her had been released, tripped over them. The remaining Death Eaters were sending spells every where, but none fatal, for they feared hitting each other. Severus immobilised all he could, while battling against those who where still focused on the task they had been set – to get rid of him and Harry.

Severus took a second to glance to his side to make Harry was still hidden behind the surface and safe. He took a second too long. A Death Eater hit him with a curse and he flew backwards through the door and out of the block of apartments onto the street outside.

Harry watched as Severus took that crucial second to make sure he was still alive and his heart skipped a beat, but he had no time to ponder.

He grabbed his wand from Lucius and bound the other man.

Before the Death Eaters could get the upper hand Harry stood from behind the counter and disarmed those closest to him before they realised he was there.

The Death Eaters behind them realised what was going on and sent curses flying at him. Harry ducked as green light flashed above his head.

Suddenly there was a huge bang and the flashes of light stopped.

Harry peered over the counter top to see Death Eaters clearing a space around Toni, who was pointing a Glock 28 at the window.

"If you guys don't stop stepping on me I'll break more than just the window," Toni snarled.

Why are they so wary? Harry wondered, There's only one of her. They outnumber her, there's still at least 40 of them here.

"I'll kill you all for what you made me do to Hermione," Toni hissed.

She spun and another gun shot went off- another Death Eater fell to the floor.

Then they converged on her.

Harry couldn't see what they did, he couldn't move a muscle.

Then he saw someone come in. He swung round and saw Severus coming back, his right arm swinging uselessly at his side.

"What are you doing, you dunderhead! They're killing her!" Snape screamed through chapped lips.

Harry pulled himself together and swung around. His wand erupted, spells flew from the tip, multi coloured and deadly. Harry didn't even need to utter the spell's names, and they were there on the tip of his wand.

Only a few Death Eaters fell, some turned into various animals, others dangled from the ceiling by their noses, one even shrunk until Harry could no longer see him.

The remaining Death Eaters turned to him, anger blazing in their eyes. They had lost again, and they knew it.

But they weren't going to go quietly.

"Crucio!" one screamed hysterically.

It wasn't one he could block, and if he moved to the side it would hit Severus.

Harry stood his ground and tautened his muscles, ready for the pain.

Severus threw himself in front of Harry, the curse hitting him squarely in the chest. He fell and writhed on the floor, sweat standing out on his forehead, eyes bulging, lips twitching.

Harry looked down at him.

"Mistake," the Death Eater chuckled as Harry to dropped to the floor.

The Death Eater turned to his remaining ten companions, "Let's grab Lucius, and warn the others in England that we need to disappear for a while."

"Not yet you won't," They turned to see Hermione holding a gun similar to Toni's, "Not if I have anything to say about it," she smiled coyly and cocked her weapon.

The Death Eaters' eyes flicked between the counter where Lucius was and back to Hermione.

"I advise you not to move," Hermione said, narrowing her eyes.

Her gaze moved and saw what was laid behind the Death Eaters, her eyes went from slits to dinner plates as she realised what they had done.

She looked beyond the Death Eaters and nodded. 4 were suddenly on the floor.

The other's turned to see the image of Severus Snape holding a bloodied rock above his head.

The 6 that were left popped out of existence.

Hermione dropped her gun, ran over to Toni and shook her, "Toni! Toni! Wake up!" she screamed.

Frizz quickly called 15 (Editor: French medical number) and ran to check if the others were okay. She saw something move behind the counter. Lucius was stirring, and now Harry's spell was broken he was no longer bound. He opened his eyes.

"Don't even think about it," said Frizz and bounced her fist off his nose. Lucius sank back to the floor.

Frizz knelt beside Harry and Severus, checking they were still alive.

Their breathing was steady and they appeared to be just out cold.

They should be fine.

"Severus," she sighed, "You just had to go and sacrifice yourself for him and make it so cliché." She patted him fondly on the shoulder and his head lolled to one side.

"Frizz! Frizz! She isn't breathing! Help me!" Hermione screamed across the room.

_**Sorry, it took so long to update it was the end of term for two weeks which left me with no spare time then I was really ill, which was fun. Anyway, better late than never, right?**_

_**I know this chapter is a little shorter than the rest, but this was a good place to end it. I would have made it an extra long one due to my lateness but I'm going on holiday again (I'm staying in the place this is set, and I'll be staying at the right time of year too.) so I wouldn't have been able to post for even longer.**_

_**This is the penultimate chapter if things go as I plan (but then again things very rarely go as I plan) and I don't count the epilogue as a chapter – yes there will be an epilogue – so if you have any questions about the fic you want answering ask them now so I can make sure I cover them all in the next chapter. I think I have them all, but no harm in double checking.**_

_**Thanks again to my beautiful reviewers and my marvellous God like editor.**_

_**I'll write the next chapter on holiday so it **__should__** be up in two weeks.**_


	20. Recovery

"How are you feeling?" asked Harry as he eased himself into a chair.

"Well, I think it's safe to say I've felt better. My arm's broken in three places and dislocated at the elbow and at the shoulder, and I may have a small scar on my neck, but it's nothing that won't heal," said Hermione, examining her cast.

"That was a bit of a stupid question."

"Yes, it was rather," interjected Frizz.

"How are you?" Harry asked her.

"I'm actually feeling quite good, but my hand's a little bruised from the pretty boy's nose. He should be more considerate when I'm punching him, I almost broke my knuckles."

"Hmm," muttered Harry, raising an eyebrow and chuckling slightly.

"You're almost as bad as Severus," Hermione put on a false gruff voice, "'Grr… no smiling, no smiling allowed, might spoil my image, grr… I'm a miserable old git.'"

"Severus is not a miserable old git."

"Of course dear," said Hermione reaching over and patting Harry on the head.

"He helped us, didn't he?" said Harry, sticking his chin out defiantly.

"Yes, but he did make you think he might care? No, he left you in that toilet cubicle, not knowing what you did," said Frizz, shaking her head.

"How do you know about that?"

"So, what exactly is wrong with you, Harry?" asked Hermione, as if she had only just entered the conversation.

Harry frowned but ignored the blatant change in subject.What was the point? They would perv on his love life no matter what he said. "I only got knocked out cold, a few bumps and bruises and a bloody nose. I got off lightly, compared to Toni anyway. How's she doing?"

Hermione's ever present grin faded, "They won't let me in to see her. Her condition is unstable and they're having problems healing her," Hermione looked into her lap, snaking her fingers about each other.

"But I thought her state wasn't so bad, we got her to St Mungo's quickly, and she hasn't got any unknown curse on her as far as I know. Just straightforward blood loss and broken bones."

"It's not that straightforward. They're having problems getting hold of her Muggle medical records, so they don't know what she's allergic to, or if she's had any treatment recently that might react badly with their potions, or if she's taken any medicine that counter badly to any magical treatment, and I didn't know enough about her medical records to make a substantial copy. They're trying to find a doctor that knows enough about Muggle remedies."

"Why don't they send her to a Muggle hospital if a Muggle could heal her?"

"You were wrong. There are a few... unusual curses on her that we couldn't explain to Muggle doctors."

Harry hung his head, "How is Severus?" Hermione asked.

"He should be fine, but he's still out cold. The whole of his left side is pretty much smashed from when he flew out the door,"

Silence fell over the group as Hermione and Harry stared at anything but each other, and Frizz hummed Greensleeves and stared out of the window.

"What happened to Lucius?"

"Azkaban."

"What?"

"Sorry, I keep forgetting you two aren't magical."

"Sorry, Harry but, I think you wrong about that."

"What?" Harry stared at Hermione as if she had just asked if she could tap dance across the room naked playing the maracas.

"I think Toni and I are magical." Harry just stared at her.

"How can you think you are?"

"We never went to a magical school, but we got letters."

Harry gawked, open mouthed, "Then why weren't you at school?"

"Loads of letter's get rejected each year, mostly by Muggles who are scared or think it's a joke. Hogwarts can't go around every year trying to round up 200 or so students. You had Hagrid sent for you because you're Harry Potter. Mine and Toni's parents obviously rejected the letters."

"How do you know all this?"

"A healer told me about it when I mentioned what happened, when Toni made the knife fly out of the draw into Lucius' back."

"How does that make _you_ magical?"

"She asked me some more questions after that, like 'has anything strange ever happened to you?'"

"Are you sure it's not just paranoia?"

"I thought that too, but you see this one time, a drunk was feeling up Toni and dancing with her and I was miming throwing a shoe at the back of his head behind him. The shoe flew out of my hand and began attacking him, then chased him down the street and into a dustbin."

Frizz burst out laughing, "That's hilarious – tell another one!"

Hermione grinned, she had obviously been dying to tell someone about all these crazy things ever since they happened, "Last year I was going out with a guy I thought was alright, but Toni had heard him talking to his friends in the pub about... unmentionable things he had forced other women to do. I'd told her I was going to go down to the pub that night to meet her. So she waited for me to turn up to tell me. When I didn't she got worried and went back to the apartment and found me there with that guy on the balcony. He had me trapped against the wall and was leaning against the banister when suddenly it disappeared and he feel two storyes down into a huge pile of snow, which took him ages to fight his way out of. By then Toni and I had obviously locked the door. The look on his face! And when we were in school Toni was getting a huge bollocking from the Art teacher, because she was late for a lesson because some other students wouldn't let her into the building, and he was being really unfair. I was so angry for her, a shelf broke and all the oil paint fell on the teachers head."

Frizz was by now rolling around in stitches while she clutched her side as if she expected it to do a runner.

"That's one of the most ridiculous things that I've ever heard," Harry said, staring at her blankly. Then he burst out laughing. Trust those two to do something bizarre with their powers as opposed to something that got the police involved.

"So what is Azkaban?" asked Hermione.

"The wizard prison, he'll be in there for awhile. It's guarded by Dementors."

"Dementoids?" asked Frizz, cross-eyed.

"Great big things in long black cloaks."

"You mean Ring Wraiths!"

Harry and Hermione ignored her.

"I saw one!" shouted Hermione, suddenly.

"Where?!" shrieked Harry, looking round and clutching his chair.

"No, I mean a while back. The night you got back from fighting Rick, I saw one outside the bar, floating past. My drink and the windows froze, but everyone else was dancing so no-one else saw it."

"No one else would have seen it, they're invisible to Muggles."

"Toni and I were trying to make you jealous so I didn't think to mention it."

"You were trying to do what?"

Just on queue the door creaked open and Hermione walked in.

Harry got up and wrapped his arms around her, "Are you okay? What the hell happened?!"

"You son of a silly person!" Harry felt a sharp pain cross his cheek and his nose began to bleed again.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, that only just healed!"

"I told you not to send me any damn letters! What did I tell you? I told you not to! NOT which, Harry, is a NEGATIVE" Hermione screamed, frantic. "Why didn't you just go and tell the Death Eaters where you are? Hell! It might have been harder for them to find you that way!"

"I'm sorry!" Harry shouted over her, ducking the bag she was swinging at his head and trying to heal his nose at the same time, "I was stuck with Snape! What would you have done?"

"If I was as gay as you I'd have shagged him," Frizz chipped in.

Everyone stared at her stunned.

A cricket chirped outside the window.

Just then a healer came in. "Is a Hermione here?" she asked curtly.

"Yes," Hermione said, jumping up and looking anxious, "How is she?"

"Still critical, but it all depends on her now. She asked specifically to see you,.

Hermione hurried out the room after the healer looking apprehensive.

"Do you think they will be able to get the medical records?" asked Hermione.

"I don't know if they will," Harry said anxiously, their previous fight completely forgotten.

They both looked at Frizz, but she was staring out of the window, seeing if she could spot the cricket.

"What happened to the rest of the Death Eaters?" Harry asked, trying to break the silence.

"We've only been able to find one of the ones that escaped, but I doubt that they would be stupid enough to try anything again," Hermione answered, all comments of Harry's sexuality clearly forgotten.

"Your owls revealed our location, the Death Eaters found and us and tried to dispose of us all. No-one was too hurt, but Ginny has disappeared."

"Oh." Harry did not find himself as desperately disappointed as he supposed he should be.

"Apart from that everything is okay. We're back on track and affairs can only get better from here. All the Death Eaters are captured now, Harry. You can get on with your life, marry a beautiful woman, have kids, do whatever you want to do. The media will still be on your back for a bit but we can handle that. You can finally be happy, Harry. I'm sure we'll find Ginny, don't worry. Justin Finch-Fletchly is on her tail right now!"

"Justin!" screamed Frizz, jumping to her feet, "Justin Finch-Fletchly?"

"Yes," stammered a rather startled Hermione.

"That lying son of a RARRGHH!" screeched Frizz, trying to detach her hair from her head.

"You know him?" asked Harry, feeling as if he were stepping on eggshells.

"Know him?! We're engaged! I can't believe he didn't tell me! He promised me there wouldn't be any fucking secrets when we married! how do I know I know him any more? He could be a drug dealer or an assassin for all I know!"

Harry felt it unwise to tell her how unlikely this was while she was in her current state. He wanted to protect Justin's marriage, he really did, but not at the risk of his internal organs.

"Well, um, I have to go, and um, sort out some reports for Azkaban," Hermione stammered, "I'm seeing Justin later, about Ginny, I could take, um-"

"Frizz."

"I could take Frizz with me and she could, um… discuss matters...with him," Hermione finished lamely.

Frizz nodded red in the face, apparently trying to hold in another explosion. She inclined her head to Harry, reluctant to open her mouth, and stalked out.

"I'll see you later, Harry," Hermione smiled at Harry and followed Frizz out of the room.

Harry had only just sat down when the same horsey healer came in.

"Mr. Potter? Mr Snape is awake, would you like to see him?"

"Yes!" Harry choked. He wanted to throttle the nurse when she walked slowly, slowly down the corridor to Severus' room.

The nurse pushed open the door for him, "Don't over excite him. He still isn't well."

"I won't," said Harry, absentmindedly shutting the door in the healer's face. He looked across the room to see Severus, his whole left side encased in bandages and a strip of tape wrapped around his head.

Harry caught himself before he asked something stupid like 'how are you feeling?' as he reminded himself Severus' answer would not be forgiving.

"Oh, it's you, Potter."

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked, as he mentally slapped himself.

"Fantastic," Snape drawled, raising an eyebrow, "My whole left side is encased in plaster, and am currently in the process of re-growing half the bones in my body. And to top it all off this bloody hospital has awful beds and no damned pillows."

Harry made his way over to Snape, lay down and took the other man in his arms so he was resting on his chest.

"That was a hint for you to go get me a pillow, not to make yourself into one, Potter,"

"As much as you may like to tell me, I am not stupid, Severus," said Harry, pulling his old teacher into his arms.

"Stop that, Potter. You may jolt my arm," Harry smiled into the top of Severus' head. "Can you just go and get me a pillow," Severus said, wrapping an arm round Harry's waist.

"I can't get up," Harry said, chuckling lightly. Severus did not reply; he merely lay on Harry's chest.

"Do you really want me to get out of your head?" Harry asked after a while.

"Your blind stupidity never ceases to amaze me, Potter," was all Severus would say.

After some time Severus' steady breathing lulled Harry to sleep.

_**I can't believe this took me so long to update. I have been trying to write in between lessons. I got up to 1,500 words that way. Then I couldn't write properly for ages because, as Hermione would but it, I have been 'burning the candle at both ends'. I skipped Modern Dance (no great loss) intending to finish it and I fell asleep at the computer. And I've only just had time this weekend. But better late than never, as I always say.**_

_**Well, I never say that, except when my fanfiction is late.**_

_**I know wizards generally don't use plaster for injuries, but I have decided they needed to keep Severus' bones in place. And I am the writer so I can do as I please.**_

_**Anyway that was the last chapter. There is an epilogue coming up and then pouf (haha! Such puns) it's all over. I will post the epilogue ASAP. Hopefully it won't take as long as this chapter, but I can't see it happening this week. I will try my hardest. Thank you all for reviewing and being so patient with me. You are all my batteries (weird comparison, non?) Much thanks to Hermione, who is Zeus like in her editing. Also it is her birthday so everyone sing at her.**_


	21. 4 Years Later

Orange- bits you need to change

Orange- bits you need to change

"How do I look?" Harry asked, straightening his tie.

"Marvellous!" said Toni gaily, clapping her hands and brushing invisible dust off Harry's shoulders, "I see the contacts have grown on you."

"Like an unwanted fungus, "said Harry dryly, looking in the mirror and gazing into his own black and green spiralled eyes.

"Like me then," grinned Toni.

"No," replied Harry, "you still haven't grown on me yet," Toni cackled and threw her head back. "I don't know why you're laughing," said Harry, staring at her bewildered, "I wasn't joking."

Toni just laughed harder and ruffled Harry's hair.

Harry smirked back at her.

"Good luck being the best man."

"Thanks," grinned Toni, "I even remembered the rings!"

"Are you planning to go for the masculine or feminine look?"

"Well, I have a dress, but I'm wearing it with a top hat and tails." Toni turned away before she could see Harry's bemused look.

"And good luck as maid of honour."

"Thanks," beamed Hermione, "I'm just wearing a dress by the way." She giggled at Harry's look of relief.

"So, we're ready for the big day," continued Hermione, as best she could through her huge grin.

"Will I ever be?" asked Harry dryly.

"Don't worry, it's just like getting married," said Hermione comfortingly.

At this point Toni gave a small whimper and left quickly.

"Wow," replied Harry, raising his eyebrows, "That's reassuring."

"Commitment makes her ill. Ignore her."

Harry raised his eyebrows, his stomach turning over.

"I'll leave you alone with your thoughts for a bit," grinned Hermione and she backed out of the room.

Harry looked in the mirror for the millionth time and straightened his tie for the billionth.

That ski holiday seemed so long ago, but it was only four years.

Things didn't seem to have changed.

Except of course now he had nightly sex to look forward too.

Harry straightened his tie again as there was another knock on the door.

"Come in."

Frizz poked her head around the door. She was bright red and her hair was even more out of control than usual.

"Ten minutes to go, we're just waiting for Toni and Hermione to get their dresses on. According to Hermione Toni's dress is too revealing and according to Toni Hermione's isn't revealing enough. I think they need to get off each others backs once in a while," Frizz sighed.

"Hmm," Harry nodded in semi-agreement as Frizz backed out of the door.

There was another knock on the door.

"Yes – What now?" Harry shouted at the door.

"I couldn't keep away," smirked Severus as he slipped into the room.

"Severus! Don't come in – it's bad luck to see the bride before the commitment ceremony."

"Well, I thought as we're both men it doesn't count."

Harry huffed and sat down in front of his dressing mirror.

"Now that isn't a great way to start an eternity together," said Severus, raising an eyebrow and making his way over to Harry.

Harry just glared at him in the mirror. Severus grabbed onto Harry's shoulders in reply and kneaded them between his fingers. Harry let out his breath and shut his eyes. He felt Severus pull his chin backwards, so he could kiss him from behind. Even after these few years he still felt like it was Severus kissing him for the first time. Harry grinned into the kiss, reaching for Severus' shirt buttons.

"Nah-ah," said Severus, staying his hands and grinning in his Slytherin way, "I just put that on."

"But-" stuttered Harry as Severus pulled back and sauntered away.

"No buts – We have to go in five minutes."

"But," Harry said anyway, "I have such a..." he glanced down at his trousers, embarrassed and unable to speak.

"Maybe you should control yourself more."

"But- " Harry said again, "It was you who came in here."

Severus just plastered a wicked grin on his face and glided towards the door.

"Please," Harry begged, "It'll be so embarrassing during the ceremony. And knowing Toni she'll notice and point it out to everyone there." He finished in a whiny tone; Severus just winked and walked out of the door.

Harry was just cursing when there was another knock on his door. Hermione emerged from behind it. She was (of course) wearing an extremely sensible (but very elegant) below-the-knee dress.

She looked at Harry sombrely, and then burst into a big grin and began to bounce on her toes.

"Harry! It's the big day!"

"Yes, I know Hermione, but if by any chance I forget I will ask you to scream that again at me for what would be the 79th time today."

"Sorry Harry, I'm just so happy for you! Now Toni and I won't have to look after you any more!"

Harry was just about to stoutly reply that he could look after himself when Hermione continued, "Anyway, it's time, are you coming?"

"Yes, I'm coming," Harry said, looking down at his crotch. "Oh the irony," he muttered to himself.

OoOoOoOoO

"I told you she would notice," said Harry in a mock sulk, turning his back to Severus.

"No, she didn't," Severus replied, snaking his hand around Harry's waist.

"She was winking at me and looking at me up and down for the entire ceremony and waggling her eyebrows."

"She didn't do anything too drastic and that's what counts. Anyway she knows we do it, that should be nothing new," An old lady who had been standing behind Severus waiting to congratulate them scuttled away clutching her handbag.

"Don't say it so damn loud Severus," whispered Harry, spinning himself around and pressing his hand to Severus's mouth.

"You're like a little school kid who struggles to say the word 'sex'," Severus said the last word especially loud.

Harry couldn't help but grin, "I can say... sex," he whispered, "I just don't like announcing it." Severus raised an eyebrow. "Anyway," Harry continued, trying to stop Severus from saying any other embarrassing words, "You're being really nice today, not your usual grumpy self."

Severus bent down to whisper in Harry's ear, placing his hand on his hip, "I know how much today means to you. I think I can smile for one whole day if it's for you."

Harry was on the verge of melting when Frizz appeared beside them.

"Congratulations!" she squealed throwing her arms around Harry and then gingerly patting Severus on the elbow.

"Thanks," Harry replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck, "Where's Justin today?"

"He's just coming," Right on cue Justin appeared by Frizz's side, bouncing a small baby up and down in his arms.

"How is Isabel?" Severus asked, gesturing to the baby.

"Perfect, perfect," swooned Justin, holding his daughter up so she could look him in the eye, "Aren't you, my little sugar plum fairy?" he pouted. Isabel replied by sticking her fingers up his nose.

"Charming little darling," smarmed Severus, with no visible trace of sarcasm. Before anyone could die of a heart attack Hermione sauntered over looking suspicious and furtive.

"I was going to save it until after the wedding to tell you because I didn't want to overload the occasion but if I don't tell you I'm going to pop," Hermione burst out.

"What?" asked Harry and Frizz hurriedly while Severus and Justin rolled their eyes? Isabel started crying and Justin quickly made a beeline for the changing room.

"I'm engaged!" Hermione squeaked.

"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Harry and Frizz together pulling Hermione into a big bear hug.

Hermione stuck out her hand so they could all see the silver band around her finger.

Once Frizz and Harry had cooed accordingly Frizz piped up, "It's Justin and mine's third anniversary in a month, and you are all invited round for dinner, so we'll also make it a celebration of your engagement," she grinned at Hermione.

Justin then returned a sleeping baby curled up in his arms, "What's this about an engagement?"

"Ernie finally asked me to marry him!"

"Ernie McMillan?" asked Justin incredulously.

"Mmhm," Hermione nodded beaming.

"Congratulations," Justin grinned back, "Is he here? I must go find him and congratulate him,"

"He's outside getting some air." Justin immediately hurried off.

"Where's Toni?" asked Frizz.

"Probably seducing someone," said Severus sarcastically.

Right on time Toni entered with a man on her arm. They made their way over to the drinks bar as Harry whispered to Severus, "I don't think I invited that guy,"

"You weren't the only one who worked on the guest list, Harry. I am part of this ceremony too you know."

"But you said you didn't want to invite anyone."

"I know, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I thought it would be nice to invite some of my friends, if only to break up the boring crowd you invited."

"But I thought that's what we invited Toni, Hermione and Frizz for."

"Shh, he's coming over, try not to say anything rude."

"But who is he?"

"Congratulations, Harry," said the mysterious man, grabbing Harry's arm and pumping it up and down.

"Thank you," said Harry, wondering if after this hand shake he would need to go back to the hospital, "It's so wonderful to finally meet some of Severus' friends."

"But we've met before," said the man, looking quizzically at Harry, "We were both at Hogwarts together for seven years."

"Ah yes, I remember," said Harry. Even thought he was still convinced he had never met the man before in his life, he thought it would be extremely rude to admit it after he had spent so long with him he couldn't even recall his face. He just prayed for Severus to save him.

Of course he never should have expected so much from a Slytherin.

"Go on then," said the man, raising his eyebrow in an-almost-exact replica of Severus.

Harry looked over the man's shoulder to see Toni mouthing something like 'lazy'.

"Of course I know you, how could you not think I know you after we spent years of precious time together?" continued Harry, padding the conversation out as much as possible in the hope that someone would come to his rescue.

"You really don't know who I am, do you?"

"No," Harry admitted, sighing.

"It's so good to see you, Blaise," burst out Severus, "I'm so glad that you could make it."

"Yes, I just got back from an assignment in Thailand."

"Which department do you work for again?"

"None at the moment, I quit."

"Why? I thought you were lined up for a promotion to operation director,"

"I was, but I think that I have moved on. I need a quieter job. I've gotten to the place where I feel I want to settle down, find the right woman and raise a family." Blaise gave a small smile, "Anyway, if you will excuse me now and we will talk later, I'm quite thirsty." Blaise turned around, "Toni? Toni, where have you gone? Toni?" he peered around the surrounding crowd.

Just then Toni appeared out of nowhere and handed Blaise a drink, "I was getting quite thirsty, and I thought you might be too,"

"Thank you, I was actually. Do you feel like a walk round the garden?"

Toni slipped her arm through Blaise's and pulled him away.

"Should someone warn Toni about Blaise and commitment?" asked Harry.

"No," Hermione answered decisively, "Maybe when it is forced upon her she may finally commit,"

"Seems quite cruel, I like it,"

"I knew you would, Severus,"

"Oh bugger, what with all that has been going on I forgot to congratulate you and Toni on your new jobs," grinned Harry.

"Thank you, we're quite anxious about it."

"Which posts are you taking?" asked Frizz.

"I'm going to be the new transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts, and Toni is taking Severus's place as Potions Master, she was quite worried. She said after Severus's teaching she would seem like a fruit bun and the students wouldn't listen to her, so she's been practicing scowling, and shouting."

"Then where is Severus going? I can't believe I don't know any of this! This baby business really is a bit o a time hogger,"

"Well, seeing as Harry's business is going so well I thought it practical to get a job closer to home, so I'm now going to be a snow boarding instructor for ESF."

"Well, good luck with that is all I can say," said Frizz sighing, "and I thought Harry had a job with ESF,"

"I started a business instead – turns out skiing instructing never was for me,"

"Damn right it wasn't. When Toni was teaching you she would come home every night and try to cut her wrists," Harry hung his head.

"Wow, I really have been out of the game for a while – never have children unless you're prepared to spend the rest of your life running around after a pink blob and you also must be prepared to leave your social life and sanity behind. So what are you dong now Harry?"

"I'm the baker for my own little business. Tin Tin retired and a baker was required for the village and it turns out I have a quite a talent for French baking..."

"Which is surprising, as he was dire at potions and baking and potion making have the same foundations and very similar structures," Severus interrupted.

Harry ignored him, "and so now I am the owner of the bakery. I just took on a new apprentice last week. He can help me when I've trained him up a bit, very nice young lad."

"Judging from the look on Severus's face he doesn't think so," Frizz whispered to Hermione.

Before Severus could say anything a bell rang in the distance, "Dinner is served!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

Severus turned the key in the front door, "Remind me why we didn't have a honeymoon again."

"Toni persuaded us that what with her and Hermione living on either side of us we wouldn't need a holiday, it would be much more fun to stay at home."

"If that's the reasoning I really wish we had gone on a honeymoon," Severus shut the door.

In one sudden movement Harry felt Severus grab the front of his shirt. He was thrust back against the door as Severus's mouth covered his, his hands cupping Harry's chin, thumbs massaging his neck. Harry let out a hot heavy breath and ran his hands through Severus's hair, scraping his nails along his scalp.

"We'll just have to make up for the fact that we didn't have a holiday then," moaned Severus, biting down on Harry's lip.

All Harry could do as moan in agreement as Severus opened up his shirt with just a flick of his wrist. He roughly pulled Harry away from the door and the shirt slid to the floor. Harry lifted himself up on Severus's neck, wrapping both of his legs around Severus's waist.

Harry was vaguely aware of Severus moving as his tongue explored the other man's mouth, wiping away the faint residue of alcohol. Before Harry realized Severus dropped him and he sank into soft covers. Harry was only given a moment's grace before Severus was on top of him again, rubbing his shirt clad chest against Harry's naked torso.

Harry quickly moved to the offending shirt, and with none of the grace Severus had, tore the shirt down the middle. Harry felt Severus smile as he bit down on to his lip; his long fingers tracing a pattern around Harry's waist band, popping open the button with a swift flick of his thumb.

Severus rolled over, pulling Harry on top of him, so he could easily slip his jeans down, closely followed by his boxers.

"You look even more beautiful when you're naked, bar a little ring round your finger," Severus said into Harry's mouth, tracing round Harry's ring with his fingertips.

Harry just grinned into Severus mouth and pushed down so that he could traverse the contours of Severus' chest with his mouth, licking and nibbling.

"You make the most ravishing noises when I'm in charge," said Harry, pushing back up so he was on a level with Severus, eager to get his lover's straining trousers off.

"That's only because you are in charge so little of the time I have to make the most of it," grinned Severus, rolling back on top of Harry and letting the younger man struggle with his zip.

"And that's only because you never let me on top," said Harry. Having succeeded with the zip he was now sliding Severus trousers down his legs.

"But if I'm not on top, I can't hear you whine for more. I love your little voice when you pant for breath and beg,"

Harry quickly pulled off Severus' boxers and quickly flipped the other man over and straddled him.

"Now it's my turn," whispered Harry, biting Severus's ear lobe and running his tongue around the edge.

"Dominance cravings are bad for you," said Severus, just managing to keep his voice under control, as Harry nibbled along his jaw line. Harry looked up at Severus and raised his eyebrows, "You know I can't resist that face." There was a pause while Harry snaked his hand down Severus's chest, "Okay, I'll be sub," sighed Severus, suddenly shutting his eyes and moaning as Harry massaged his nipples.

Harry quickly used his other hand to rip off Severus's boxers, then quickly placing his hand on Severus's throbbing uncovered skin, stroking him lovingly. He moved his mouth to work on Severus' nubs while his other hand snaked down Severus's body, down and around his legs so Harry's fingers were probing Severus's tight hole. Harry moved his mouth to gnaw gently on Severus's neck, running his tongue along the contours.

Severus gasped as two of Harry's fingers protruded into him, coming in and out, fast to start with, then slowing to a teasing pace.

Severus moaned and scraped his fingernails down Harry's spine, as Harry pressed in a third finger.

"Come on," moaned Severus, pressing himself down onto Harry's fingers.

"Nah ah ah," smiled Harry, just as Severus always did to him, stretching Harry until he thought he was going to break. Well, now it was Harry's turn.

Harry moved his mouth onto Severus', sensually swiping his tongue over the other man's lips.

"Take me," pleaded Severus, as Harry teasingly removed his fingers.

Harry pulled his lips from Severus and just looked him in the eye as he positioned himself at Severus's opening, just gently probing his tight flesh.

Severus tried to push down onto Harry, but Harry held his hips, in place looking into his lover's eyes for a moment.

"No lubricant?" Harry asked teasingly.

"Just hurry the fuck up," growled Severus, panting.

Harry obliged him, pressing himself quickly against Severus's tight hole which stretched to accommodate him. Severus threw his head back as the pain and pleasure ripped through him, and Harry nuzzled into his neck until he was fully inside.

Harry pulled out again pulling in and out at random, not setting a rhythm, differing between fast and slow.

Severus opened his mouth but before he could plead for release Harry had covered his mouth with his own, smothering his pleas.

Harry leaned over the strong body beneath him, pushing himself deeper into Severus. Leaving his lover gasping and empty when he pulled back, only to thrust back in again.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, pulling his hands through Harry's hair, groaning as Harry rubbed against his insides.

As Harry's pace became quicker and more regular Severus began to pant and moan in time with the thrusts.

Severus's hands flew to the bed covers, twisting them around his hands and gripping them hard, almost ripping them as he braced himself against the waves of pleasure that were washing over him as Harry pounded into him in a frenzy, biting his lips and grinning as he hit Severus's pleasure spot again and again.

Finally Harry cried out as he released inside Severus, triggering in return Severus's release all over his stomach.

They both collapsed and lay there for a second, sticky and tangled.

After a few minutes Harry muttered a cleaning spell and took Severus in his arms, and in return felt Severus's strong arms around him, pulling him into his chest, turning Severus into a pillow.

"Is it just me, or is the sex better now we're married?" asked Severus with a weak grin.

Harry chuckled back, tracing lines along Severus's chest.

"I think it's because now I know no matter how cruel I am to you in the bed room you are bound to me for life."

Harry grinned, and looked up into Severus's eyes, "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

_**Okay, beat me! I did take years to update. But that's because I wanted to give it a real sense of time. .:Blank Silence:. Okay fine! I was just lazy! But my computer was being temperamental too; it keeps pulling this trick where it turns off when it feels like it, so I'm constantly losing all of my data.**_

_**Anyway I hope you liked the ending, I made sure everyone turns out happy. (I'm sure even Lucius will be happy in Azkaban) Oh yes! And for those of you who cared about what happened to Ginny (which I can't imagine is many of you) she turned up about a year ago. She had run away with a convict and they had to stay in an unknown country until he could come back to England, because the law he broke had been removed. (See, aren't I a nice person? I even gave Ginny a happy ending.)**_

_**I just thought for this last chapter 'Hey, I'll put Harry on top – because no one ever does.' And now I know why no ones ever does, it's impossible to write in character! Never try it – I just spent an hour on this silly thing.**_

_**Anyway, this is the end, and I am very upset. I hope you all are too... wait a sec, that sounded kinda mean... Oh well, I'll say what I really feel. I hope you're all crying right about now because you are so sad that this is finally over.**_

_**Okay, now I feel awful.**_

_**Anyway, I know I don't deserve it but please review me one last time. It would make me very happy.**_

_**And many thanks to my editor. I would be nothing with out her (I take that back – my work would still be damn good – merely illegible) So everyone give my editor a hug, a cookie and a pat on the head.(Yay!- Editor)**_

_**Again, thank you all, hope you come back soon.**_


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